"All of them?" he asked in disbelief. He stood up and walked closer to the bookshelf. There were easily a hundred notebooks stacked side by side. I'd been writing in them for so long, I guess I never gave much thought to the fact that it took a ton of words to fill up a hundred notebooks. When I finished with one, I would just put it in the stack and grab a new one.
"It's kind of an outlet for me," I said uncomfortably.
"No doubt. Can I look at them?"
I knew he would ask. Keeping them from Butch and Buttercup was easy. They were my parents and had always respected my privacy, but I wasn't sure how to break it to Josh. "To tell you the truth, I've never shown them to anyone," I said, joining him in front of my shelf. "Some of them are pretty silly since I wrote them years ago when I was much younger."
"I think it's awesome," he said, running his finger down the long line of notebooks. "I couldn't think up an idea for a story that would fill one page, let alone a hundred books. I'm impressed." He almost sounded as enthusiastic as when he talked about the environment.
I took a deep breath, reaching past him to grab one of the notebooks off the shelf. And that was how we spent our day together. My notebooks full of stories acted as the buffer we needed to take our minds off the trauma we had witnessed during the past few days. At times, Josh would read sections he liked aloud, while other times he chuckled to himself. Either way, my stomach remained a mess of nerves, wondering what it would mean for us if he didn't like my writing. I tried reading one of the notebooks myself, but mostly I kept my face buried in my pillow, too embarrassed to even look at him. Luckily, Josh was kind enough each time he laughed to reaffirm that he was enjoying the stories.
"You have mad writing skills," Josh proclaimed, taking a big bite of the pizza we had ordered.
"You're just being nice."
"No offense, but if they sucked, I would have come up with an excuse to stop reading," he said in his typical brutally honest manner.
I could hardly look at him from embarrassment as I smiled and took a bite of pizza.
I lost track of how many of my stories we read, but by the time Josh left for the night, I felt oddly energized. Pulling a fresh journal out of the stack I kept on hand, I started a new tale about love and meeting Mr. Wrong who turned into a forever after.
The last thing I remembered was falling asleep with my journal on my chest.
The sun shined bright as I woke the next morning. It seemed fitting to have such a picture-perfect day for Larry's memorial service considering what a diehard beach lover and sun-worshipper he had been. Wanting to look my best, I pulled on a new sundress I had bought with my first and only paycheck from the Tasty Freeze.
Josh and Farrah managed to arrive at the same time again, which would have been funny had we not been feeling so somber. Together, we piled into Josh's truck while Butch and Buttercup drove in Butch's used jeep that he had recently purchased.
As much as I wanted to, I couldn't hold back my tears during the service. Larry's twenty-year-old son, Zeke, who acted and sounded just like his dad, delivered a touching eulogy that was fraught with heartache and a surprising mixture of mirth. Larry had lived an eclectic life, and hearing his son's stories made my heart ache that I didn't have the chance to know him better.
The wake at Larry's house was a far cry from depressing and more like a celebration. Per his wishes, Hawaiian music blared from the speakers in his small house that sat directly on the beach. It was really nothing more than a shack, but it told you all you needed to know about him. At sunset, Larry's son and daughter walked his ashes to the sea and dumped them into the waves so Larry would remain in the place he loved most. It was the most bittersweet moment of my life.
Chapter 16
"What do you think?" Josh asked, moving the branches aside so I could join him in the underbrush.
"Uh, I think you're dead meat if one of those crazy brown spiders climbs on me," I said, snapping my head around nervously.
"Don't be a wimp. They're more scared of you than you are of them."
"Yeah, so long as we have the understanding that they stay away, we'll be fine."
"You're so cute. Now get in here," he said, tugging on my hand. "Look," he said, pointing to a nest that was sitting in a low bush.
Glancing in the nest, I couldn't help the little gasp of delight when I saw the baby birds looking back at me. Their tiny beaks opened and closed, showing they wanted food.
"They're adorable," I said, keeping my distance since Josh had grilled that into my head anytime he was showing me the wildlife.
"Told you it was worth the hike," he said, tweaking my nose gently.
"Ha, tell that to my aching feet and sticky shirt." We moved out of the underbrush and
onto the main path. "I can't believe you make this walk every day," I said, looking down the long dirt road we had come from.
"Well, now that I don't have to clean up after parties on the beach, my mornings are free," he said, smiling ruefully. "Are you excited today is your last day of community service?" he asked, grabbing my hand as we walked.
"Only because Mitch told me yesterday he's decided to keep me on. Looks like it'll be a paying gig from now on. He said someone has to keep you in line," I giggled as Josh reached over to tickle me. "I'll tell you what else I'm happy about. No more suffering out in the sun. No offense to you, my sweet, loving lifeguard, but I'll be helping out Vanessa in the afternoons after school," I crowed happily.
"I always knew you were an air conditioning junkie," he laughed.