"I'll have them increase your pain meds. There's no reason you need to suffer unnecessarily," he said, patting my shoulder before standing up. "You have Nurse Ratchet call me if you need anything," he added, referring to the head nurse no one liked much.
"That would require me actually talking to her," I quipped, making him laugh as he left my room.
"How you doing, pumpkin?" my dad asked, entering my room with his hands full a few minutes after Dr. Davis had left.
"Fair," I said, giving him my standard answer. "What's all that?"
"I figured a few creature comforts from home would make your stay here easier," he said, setting my iPad on the rolling bed tray. "I brought some of those pajama pants you like to sleep in and a few t-shirts I found in your dresser," he added, placing the stack of clothes on the nightstand.
My eyes zeroed in on the stack of clothes as I spotted a familiar navy blue t-shirt that had been buried at the bottom of my dresser. The fact that he had to dig for it wasn't lost on me, although if he knew the significance of the shirt, he didn't show it. It didn't belong to me, but that didn't stop me from taking it when I had found it in my laundry basket when I packed up my stuff at the cabin. At the time, I had pressed it to my face, smelling the cologne Nathan wore with a touch of his masculinity. When we had arrived home, I had stowed it away and only allowed myself to remove it when the pain of missing him began to engulf me. Everything in me yearned to press it to my face now, but I knew it would raise questions if I asked my father to hand it to me. Not to mention, he would probably think I was a freak if I sniffed my shirt.
"How's Wilma?" I asked.
"She misses you. I debated sneaking her in, but figured Nurse Dictator would have my head if I tried."
"Are you feeding her twice a day?"
"Yes, and giving her those treats you buy that she likes so much. She's been sleeping with me while you've been away," he said sheepishly.
"I'm glad. She likes to snuggle," I said. "Shouldn't you be at work?" I asked as it dawned on me that he was in my room during the middle of the day. "Dad?" I said as he ignored my question.
"I took a leave of absence," he finally admitted.
"Dad you didn't have to do that," I protested.
"Ashton we almost lost you this week. How do you think I would have felt if I was at work and something happened to you? Truthfully, I'm debating early retirement. That way I can help take care of you."
"And what will you do when I no longer need to be taken care of?" I asked as some of my optimism returned.
"I'll fish."
"Fish?' I quizzed. "When have you ever wanted to fish?"
"I've recently discovered deep-sea fishing is quite the pastime."
"When have you ever gone deep-sea fishing?" I asked, skeptically.
"I've gone out a couple times with a buddy of mine."
"I didn't know you even liked to fish," I said.
"That's because I really never gave it a chance. I've discovered it can be very relaxing, almost like meditation without all the mumbo jumbo."
"Retirement though? Won't you get bored? You've always been such a computer nerd." >Passing through town, I saw Fran's store up on the left. I had every intention to continue to drive by. There was no reason to prolong my agony, but my vehicle seemed to have a mind of its own as I turned into the dirt parking lot. It wasn't until I was standing in front of the store that I realized it was closed since it was Sunday. I turned back toward my vehicle when a voice called my name. Fran approached me, squinting in the bright sunlight reflecting off the snow-covered ground.
"I was just on my way to come see you," she said, finally reaching my side.
"You would have missed me. I'm headed out."
"Then I'm glad you stopped by before you left. Ashton stopped by this morning on her way out of town. She left something for you," she said, extracting a letter from the pocket of her apron.
"Did you know?" I asked, reaching for the envelope.
"About the cancer?"
I nodded.
"Yes. Ashton confided her secret to me when she applied for the job. I guess working in a general store in some hick town was on that list of hers. She told me I didn't even have to pay her, she'd just be grateful to be able to mark it off her list. Of course, turns out it was me who was grateful," she said gruffly. "I took to that girl almost immediately. I'll miss her," she added, swallowing hard.