Chad was playing Halo as usual when I left the bathroom a half an hour later with a cloud of steam following me. “Where you going?” His eyes looked milky and bloodshot and his hair was matted on one side while the rest stood on end.
“Work. You know that thing some of us have to do when we’re not sucking off the parental tit.”
“Don’t be jealous, bro. We all can’t live the high life.” He stretched his arms around the area where he was sitting. Empty cans and dishes littered every square inch of the coffee table. Xbox games and their empty cases were scattered across the couch cushions and the floor.
“Dude, you’re a fucking mess.”
Chad ran a hand through the matted side of his hair, making it stand on end to match the other side. He looked like he’d gone mad. “What are you talking about?”
“You look like something a cat would hack up. You smell like it, too.”
“Like hell I do,” he said, grimacing when he lifted his arm and sniffed it.
“And you wonder why no chicks will come over here,” I pointed out, heading to the kitchen, which was separated from the living room space by a high counter.
“Psh, I get pussy anytime I want, unlike some people I know.”
I flipped him off. “By choice, man. And by pussy, I don’t mean stray cats, motherfucker,” I joked as he chucked an empty can at me.
“Fuck you, bitch. That pussy loved me,” he retorted, laughing at his own joke. “How about throwing me another Red Bull?” He slouched back against the couch, picking up his game controller from a dirty plate on the coffee table.
I shook my head, pulling a Red Bull out of the refrigerator along with a nearly empty jug of milk. Tossing Chad his drink, I opened the milk and sniffed it apprehensively. It smelled okay even though according to the date on the side, it had expired two days ago. My stomach gr
owled loudly, so I was willing to take the risk. Opening the cabinet, I pulled out the cereal I wanted while trying to keep the rest of the boxes that were crammed inside from falling out. Cereal, milk, and Red Bull were the three staple items that we all seemed to live on. We bought all three in bulk using Chad’s parents’ warehouse store card. Judging by the barren state of the refrigerator and the Red Bull cans everywhere, we’d be putting another dent on that card soon.
I was standing at the counter eating my breakfast/lunch when Michael stumbled out of his room looking worse than Chad.
“Hey, is that my Fruity Pebbles?” he asked, swiping the box off the counter.
I quickly snatched the box back. “No, they’re my Fruity Pebbles. Next time get your own box.”
“Don’t be a douche. You can share.”
“Okay, you can have some,” I offered, grinning as I tossed the box to him before he headed around the counter.
“What did you do, spit in it?” he asked suspiciously.
“Dude? Like I’d do something like that. It’d be unholy to defile a box of Fruity Pebbles.”
He looked in the box apprehensively before pouring himself a serving. He eyed the cereal skeptically as it filled the bowl.
I was already chuckling by the time he opened the refrigerator and discovered I used the last of the milk. “You’re an asshole,” he grumbled, grabbing a spoon from the sink. He rinsed it off before digging into his dry cereal.
“You can always use one of Chad’s Red Bulls.” To rub it in further, I tipped my bowl up to my lips to drink the last of the fruity-flavored milk.
Michael retaliated by flicking a spoonful of the brightly colored cereal my way. The small pieces flew in every direction except at me, which made me laugh again.
“You flick like a bitch,” I mocked him, placing my bowl in the overflowing sink. “By the way, motherfuckers, tomorrow we’re cleaning up this place.”
Chad flipped me off as he continued to play his game.
“At least I know you heard me, asshole.”
“You riding in with me?” I asked Michael as he finished the last of his dry cereal. He and I had met six months ago on the job. He was a cool guy and easy to work with, which was how he ended up moving in with Chad and me at the beginning of term.
“Hell yes.”
“Well, then, get your ass in gear. I’m not going to be late because you’re dicking around.”