Dan waited in the open doorway until Nan’s taillights disappeared from view, suspicion forming a cold knot of dread in his gut. The way her face turned sheet-white upon hearing the strike of Master Devin’s single tail hand whip and Mindy’s cry had taken him aback. There had been an indefinable panicked flash in her gold eyes that caused him a moment of dread before he took control and pushed her head down. Her excuse of fatigue sounded reasonable, but somehow rang with the hint of evasion, as proven by the way she kept looking away from him. He remembered how she pulled back with a startled jerk when he’d gone to tug on her hair at the diner and didn’t like where his thoughts were going.
Nan was an experienced sub, he reminded himself as he returned inside with different scenarios of possible reasons for her uncharacteristic reactions running through his head, none of which sat right with him. She liked the bite of pain and where it led her, and all but begged for a rough fuck whenever they took a scene that far. But even so, he couldn’t imagine her allowing a Dom to go further than she was comfortable with. She was flirtatiously open and brazen, never holding back or shying away from what she wanted, and she was just as delightful when she rebuked a
pushy man who didn’t interest her or in ending a scene that was either not enough or leaning toward too much. At least, she had been before going to New Orleans.
One thing was clear, he decided as his head pounded with the urge to get answers, something significant had happened that kept her away so long and put that look on her face. The question was, what?
“What happened?” Tamara pounced as soon as he reached them, worry darkening her gray eyes. “Is Nan okay? I should have been there to help her more this week.”
“She appeared to be by the time she left.” Appeared being the operative word. “But our girl has come home with some issues. Maybe you can get her to open up more about her time away, Tamara. Give me a double, Caden, would you?”
“I’ll join you in one,” he replied with an edge to his tone and concern swirling in his blue eyes Dan could commiserate with.
Connor hugged Tamara against him. “Her reaction was odd, given her experience. It’s not like she’s not familiar with the sights and sounds going on around here. Maybe it’s just the length of time she’s been away from the lifestyle combined with, like she said, the long week.”
That made sense, Dan admitted, so why was he mentally dismissing Connor’s suggestion? Ten months was a long time for a woman who embraced her submissiveness with such wholehearted acceptance and enthusiasm to go without getting her needs met. He hoped her craving for sexual release through submission hadn’t led her into a bad situation with the wrong person.
Tamara cut a quick glance toward Sydney, who seemed as worried about their friend as she was. “We’ll talk to her, but if Nan doesn’t want to reveal anything, or not yet, we have to respect that.” She pinned Dan with a direct gaze. “We all have to respect her privacy, if she wishes to hold on to it for now.”
Under any other circumstances, likely with any other woman, Dan would agree with Tamara. But his relationship with Nan included a long-standing friendship that surpassed them indulging in occasional play here at The Barn. He would try for patience, but if she continued with the odd behavior that reeked of a trauma he needed to know about before he could avail himself of that slender, curvy body again, he would insist on answers sooner rather than later.
“Of course,” he replied as smoothly as the last swallow of whiskey went down his throat. Setting the glass on the bar top, he nodded at the Dunbars. “I’ll head up and relieve Grayson and catch you later.”
“I like your openness, and the way you don’t shy away from what you want, and need.” Gerard’s black eyes glittered with appreciation as he swept Nan’s body from head to toe. Reaching out, he traced one finger in a circle around her right nipple, the light touch through the thin halter top enough to draw the tender bud into a tight pucker.
“It’s difficult to get those needs met if I don’t embrace them,” Nan admitted candidly, her pussy heating as he gripped her nape and held her head immobile as he took possession of her mouth. The man kissed as good as he looked, she mused, loving his tight hold and the hard pressure of his lips moving over hers. The wild beat of her pulse and escalating ache between her legs that had begun the moment she entered the BDSM mixer and spotted the tall, midnight-haired Dom from across the room obliterated the low murmurs of conversations going on around them.
“Let’s take this back to my place,” he suggested after releasing her mouth, his hand squeezing her neck.
Nan groaned and rolled over in bed, tensing against the dream forcing its way past her subconscious against her will. The last thing she needed was a nightmare-inducing memory sabotaging her much-desired sleep. She tried to think about something else, someone else to keep it at bay. Closing her eyes again, Master Dan’s face swam into her head and she warmed as she always did when she thought about her favorite Dom. But as she drifted back to sleep, the pleasure she always experienced whenever he gave her one of his pointed, heated looks changed to a shiver of cold trepidation as the past intruded with ruthless insistency and Master Gerard’s cold, dark face returned to haunt her.
“On your knees, slave,” Master Gerard barked, his sudden tight grip of Nan’s wrists and shove to the cold, concrete floor wrenching a cry from her.
Gritting her teeth, she glared up at him, wondering what she had gotten herself into. Gone was the friendly Dom she met a few days ago who had been courting her submissive surrender with experienced, body humming enticements; now replaced by a ruthless son-of-a-bitch whose current expression gave her the willies.
“I’m no man’s slave and never agreed to that role. Let. Me. Go.”
Before she could fathom his intention, he swung his free hand and backhanded her, his hold tightening, keeping her from toppling back. Pain exploded across her face and blood filled her mouth as shock rendered her speechless for several breathless moments.
Oh, God, she groaned in silent, escalating fear, what have I gotten myself into?
Nan jerked awake, her heart pounding hard enough to burst through her chest as she blinked against the bright swath of sunlight streaming through the open shades and covering her bed. The warmth helped push back the cold terror still shaking her insides, but she despaired of anything helping her enough to overcome the worst mistake she’d ever made.
Chapter 4
“God, yes,” Nan muttered as she glanced at the text Tamara sent her, asking if she wanted to go riding after she closed today. After her sleepless night and the long afternoon of serving and socializing with her customers, she was more than ready for fresh air and the joy of an invigorating, mind-clearing run with her best friend. Her favorite activity since childhood, she’d missed horseback riding this past year, the euphoric rush of a powerful animal’s muscles straining under her as they flew across the wide-open prairie grasslands brightened with summer foliage, the afternoon sun beating down on her back. She’d been so cold for so long despite spending the winter in New Orleans’ balmy temperatures instead of the harsher, frigid Montana months.
Sending an affirmative reply, she finished wiping down the counter as she scanned the few remaining customers still lingering. It had been the right move adding gourmet coffees to the menu, as the line forming an hour before her regular opening time proved. Stumbling downstairs this morning, praying she’d masked the dark circles under her eyes well enough, the smiling, eager faces waiting to come in had heartened her. At least she wasn’t a failure in everything, she thought, switching off the kettles and waving goodbye to the last people leaving. Only when it came to regaining enough confidence to let go, like she used to, at the club. Every time she took a step, her silk panties glided over the newly exposed, sensitive flesh of her labia, a constant reminder how she’d failed the first step toward getting her life back in order, each nerve tingling caress a taunt about her cowardice.
“Don’t get discouraged,” Jay told her when he’d skyped this morning and zeroed in on her distraught, tired features. “It was your first time back. Cut yourself some slack and don’t push it.”
Like everything else since her ordeal, that was easier said than done, and patience wasn’t her strong suit when it came to wallowing in self-pity. Her brother’s unconditional support meant the world to her, but, damn it, physically she was more than ready to pick up the satisfying sex life she’d enjoyed before Gerard stripped her of the pleasure she used to reap from pain. If only her head would get on board with her body, then life could return to normal.
An hour later, Nan pulled onto the Barton property and parked in front of the ranch home where Tamara’s stepmother now resided with her soon-to-be husband and their foreman, Jason. Sliding out of her car, a high-pitched neigh drew her attention to the stables. Tethered at the rail fencing in a small, attached corral, Tamara’s Arabian stallion, Galahad tossed his gray/white head and long mane. Standing next to him, saddled and ready to go, stood Lady, a pretty dappled mare appearing just as eager for a run.
Nan headed their way, waving as Tamara came out of the stables. “Thanks for the invitation.” Reaching the horses, she ran a hand down Lady’s sleek neck. “Aren’t you a pretty girl?” she crooned. “She doesn’t act as timid as the last time I saw her.”
“I’ve been working with her, and Galahad’s enthusiastic acceptance has helped. I think he’s going to be a daddy next year.” Excitement shone in Tamara’s eyes as she pushed to her toes and looked at Nan over the backs of both horses. “And Connor and I are trying our best to beat her to it.”