Heat enveloped Tamara as she imagined Connor watching her with someone else, and her interest took hold. What could it hurt to explore the curiosity that had stirred to life the one time she’d watched him? She didn’t have to take it far, and what better way to start moving on than with someone who wouldn’t expect anything except for her to submit to his wishes for an hour?
But she needed clarification before taking such a big risk with the unknown. “What if I don’t want to participate, or I start something with someone and want to stop?”
Avery laid a light hand on her arm. “I fretted over things like that also, but Grayson showed me I was not only safe with him, but free to end things whenever I wanted. It was a heady feeling of power, I’ve got to admit.”
She looked at the three women staring at her with small smiles of expectation and thought, why the heck not? Why let Connor, who refused to change, keep her from exploring new things, seeking a new, or several new relationships? They didn’t have to lead to anything permanent; she had time to form a committed relationship later, after she worked him out of her system and could settle down with one person without feeling guilty because she wanted someone else more.
Before she could change her mind or think it to death, she reached for a second turnover with a nod. “I’m in, but only to observe, and you three better back me up and be there for me.”
“Fuck, yes,” Nan beamed.
An hour later, Tamara returned home still grappling with her decision to go as a guest to a BDSM club. Knowing about the place and what went on there and attending as an interested guest were two wildly different things, and she had to admit she would be out of her depth in such a place. So why, she asked herself as the front door opened and she saw Amy waiting for her with a broad smile of welcome, was she planning on going? With a mental headshake, she guessed seeing Connor again, touching him, hearing his voice, had left her more rattled and desperate than ever to get over him.
Putting all her insecurities and doubts aside, she skipped up the porch steps and threw her arms around her stepmother, happy to see her back again. She’d left only a few days after Tamara returned home and they still had a lot of catching up to do. “When did you get in?” Pulling back, Tamara basked in the warmth of Amy’s blue eyes and her motherly hug of welcome.
“Only thirty minutes ago. I love my sister, but it’s good to be home. How are you, Tammy?”
Amy’s nickname for her brought tears to her eyes, as did her embrace. Damn but she’d been on an emotional roller coaster since seeing Connor yesterday, and she didn’t like it. “Are you ever going to quit calling me Tammy?”
“Nope.” Pulling back, Amy looked her over with a critical eye before ushering her inside. “You look good. How was your visit to town and your first day on the new job?”
“Great. I like everyone at the clinic, and I love the changes Nan’s made to her teashop. She introduced me to two newcomers to Willow Springs this afternoon, who are very nice.”
“Let me guess,” Amy said as Tamara followed her into the kitchen and smelled something wonderful cooking in the oven. “That would be Sydney Greenbriar and Avery Pierce, Caden Dunbar and the sheriff’s new girls?”
Laughing, she plopped onto a kitchen chair at the small, round corner table. “I should have known you still keep up with who’s who and who’s doing what.”
“Of course. I’ve heard they’re all members of that club everyone likes to speculate about.” Amy shot her a sly glance as she joined Tamara at the table with a glass of tea. “You know, the one Connor Dunbar belongs to.”
“Oh, good grief…” Her stepmother thrived on the small-town gossip. Giving her a narrowed eyed, suspicious glare, Tamara knew it wasn’t a coincidence she brought up the exact subject she’d just discussed with her friend. “You talked to Nan already.”
“Guilty. I just got off the phone with her. She wants my help in making sure you don’t change your mind. I think it’s a grand idea. Show that man you’re not pining for him anymore and won’t be sitting around doing nothing now that you’re back for good.”
Tamara’s chest filled with warmth and her eyes grew misty with gratitude and pleasure stemming from the open, honest and supportive relationship she’d always enjoyed with her stepmother. Amy had encouraged her to confide in her as soon as her mother had taken off and made spilling her guts on more than one occasion easy to do, keeping their private ‘girl’ moments between the two of them. Her father had been wonderful, spoiling her and never stingy with his love and praise, but he was still her father and some things she could never imagine being comfortable enough to discuss with him.
“I’m not going to do anything, just visit
, and socialize.” She allowed a small smile to curve her lips. “Besides, I think it would be fun to watch,” she teased, thinking it wouldn’t be the first time she’d indulged in voyeurism. Tamara had never spoken a word to anyone about the scene she’d stumbled upon when riding to Connor’s that day, not even to Amy or Nan. Some things were best kept private.
“You’re a good girl, hon, always have been. I’ve known those Dunbar boys, and several others who are members for ages, and trust them to look out for you. So, feel free to be a bad girl for a change. It’ll do you good.”
Tamara turned onto the highway praying she wasn’t making a mistake. Be a bad girl for a change. Amy’s suggestion had been replaying in her head for the last few days, and each time she’d thought about it, the stronger her desire grew to do just that despite her lingering unsurety. Shifting on the car seat, her bare buttocks tingled under the snug black skirt. It wasn’t the first time she’d worn a thong, but always before she’d been dressed to please and seduce Jeremy, each time hoping and praying her response to sex with him would improve. It never did, which was only one of the reasons she’d ended their engagement. Approaching the road off the highway that would take her to the club, she shoved those depressing thoughts aside, gripped the steering wheel tighter and made the turn.
Several bumpy minutes later, the narrow, unpaved lane leading to The Barn ended at a large, tree shrouded copse and gravel parking lot in front of the two-story restored farm structure. Tamara had heard rumors the Dunbars and Sheriff Monroe were partnering in a private club over seven years ago, and that the three of them had all lent a hand in converting an old barn into a gathering place for members to indulge in their kinky preferences. The townsfolk had always accepted the rumors, and likelihood of their truth with good-natured shrugs of indifference. Maybe a few older citizens continued to mumble under their breath, but for the most part, the intrigued speculation outweighed the snide criticism. What judgmental remarks had filtered back to members were brushed aside with unconcern.
Tamara turned off the engine and gazed around at the vehicles, trying to figure out who was already inside by makes and models. She hadn’t been back long enough to familiarize herself with certain changes, but she spotted Nan’s same sporty Nissan with as much relief as she felt when she didn’t see Connor’s truck. Maybe he would show up later tonight, but after giving Nan’s invitation serious thought the last four days and getting her stepmother’s not-so-surprising approval, she’d vowed to enjoy herself regardless of his presence or not.
After sending Nan a text she was here and heading in, she stepped out into the much cooler night air and dashed up to the wide double doors. Ignoring her quivering abdominal muscles, she entered a large foyer and relaxed as Nan came through a door that appeared to lead into a much larger space.
“Hey,” she greeted her, shrugging out of her knee-length jacket.
“I’m so glad you didn’t change your mind.” Nan rushed forward, her long slender legs showcased to perfection in a thigh-skimming sheath that dipped low enough over her breasts to reveal teasing glimpses of pert, dusky nipples.
“How could I with you hounding me with calls and messages every few hours? In here?” She nodded to a large walk-in closet where several other light coats were already hung.
“Yes, and shoes in one of these cubbies.” Nan pointed to several rows of open cubicles along one wall and then to the opposite side of the entry. “Over there are the restrooms.”
“Good to know,” Tamara replied as she stowed her shoes and then ran clammy hands down her sides. “How’s this look?” After Nan told her only a Master could waive the dress code requiring bare legs, she’d suggested a skirt to go with the red camisole top she lent her.