Mitch had no choice but to step aside when two orderlies came in to take her upstairs to her room. He walked with them to the elevator then squeezed her hand as he bent over and kissed her. “I’ll be back, sweetheart.”
Hannah awoke the next morning with nothing more than a dull ache in her lower abdomen and a loss that pulled at her like a noose around her neck, threatening to suffocate her. She wanted nothing more at that moment than to go home to the comfort of her roots and her family. No matter her sins, she knew she’d always be welcomed back home. She held onto that reassurance as if it was a lifeline tossed to her in a sea of chaotic emotions.
She had just signed the dismissal papers and was about to call a cab when Anna, Olivia and Kayla came in. Hannah cringed inwardly as they expressed their condolences and worry, wishing she had been able to escape the hospital without seeing anyone.
“What can we do?” Anna asked her. They all watched helplessly as Hannah struggled back into the white leather miniskirt and stretchy top, refusing their help.
“I could use a ride back to Aunt Mary’s house,” Hannah said, ignoring the way the simple task of getting dressed left her drained. With her mind set on returning to Ohio as soon as possible, she no longer thought of her aunt’s house as home.
“Sure, sweetie,” Olivia told her as she cast questioning looks at her sisters-in-law. “But wouldn’t you rather wait for Mitch? He was heading up here as soon as he dropped your camera off with the police.”
“No.” Hannah answered more sharply than she had intended, but Mitch was the last person she wanted to see right now. In a softer tone, she said, “Please, I just want to get out of here.” She knew better than to reveal her plan to pack her things and leave as soon as she called Aunt Mary and got her permission to take her car to Ohio.
“What’d Mitch do?” Kayla asked accusingly despite finding it hard to believe he had been anything but supportive last night. They all saw the protective and possessive way Mitch had watched over Hannah at the club and knew he was as gone over her as their husbands were over them.
“Nothing,” Hannah said, refusing to let them believe anything bad of Mitch who had been as supportive as he has been since the day she met him. Has it really been only a couple of weeks? That was hard to believe considering the impact he has had on her life. “He saved me and I’ll always be grateful to him for that.”
“I think, no, I know Mitch wants more from you than gratitude,” Anna told her as an orderly wheeled her downstairs with the three of them following.
Hannah didn’t comment until she was in Olivia’s car and they had pulled away from the hospital. “Right now, I don’t have any more to give anyone. Please try to understand. Growing up in a peaceful community, I never had to deal with anything like this, not even as a bystander.”
“Not to mention losing your baby,” Kayla said, refusing to let her keep silent about the trauma she suspected affected Hannah the most. “That would devastate any of us.”
Devastate didn’t begin to cover her emotional turmoil, but Hannah lapsed into silence, instinctively knowing her well-meaning friends won’t let up if she didn’t. She thanked them for the ride and sent them on with a promise to call tomorrow. When Mitch showed up at her door a few minutes later, bringing an ecstatic Roxy with him, she gave him the same promise, except it was harder not to cave in front of Mitch than it had been in front of her friends. But, like a thief in the night, Hannah broke both promises after resting most of the day then packing her few belongings and getting on the road home just after midnight. A pang of longing as well as a plague of second thoughts struck her as she backed out of the drive past Mitch’s truck. But neither deterred her from silently returning to where she belonged.
Mitch watched Hannah drive away, his frustration and sorrow eating a hole in his gut. That rigid independent streak she has when it comes to dealing with problems on her own that he has always admired now pissed him off. Hannah had never asked him for anything except sex, never expected anything more than sex and now that she needed more, she was leaving. He didn’t confront her when she refused to see him, refused to talk to him and didn’t pursue her now. In less than twenty-four hours, she was subjected to the depths of his sexual domination, confronted by a jealous ex-lover, attacked in her own home and lost a baby she hadn’t even known she was carrying yet. Any one of those happenings would have sent most women running. Suffering all of them at once had to be devastating, and for someone of Hannah’s faith and strict moral background, doubly so. He instinctively knew there was nothing he could say or do at this point that would help her cope beyond offering her comfort, besides that, he needed time to deal with his own guilt over what had befallen her. If he was struggling with forgiving himself for his neglect with not only the condom, but in not paying more attention to what was happening in Hannah’s life other than planning for their next sexual encounter, then how could he expect her to forgive him?
Sighing in regret and worry, he stepped away from his bedroom window where he had watched Hannah drive out of his life without looking back. When he stopped at the police department with Hannah’s camera this morning and showed them the picture she had inadvertently taken of her assailant right after the murder at the Arboretum, they had connected all the dots and had Kenny Gonzalez cold for murder as well as the attacks on Hannah. She was free from further threats and harm from him, but not the results of his attack. Although not as acutely as Hannah, Mitch too felt the loss of their unborn child, surprised at how desirable having a child with Hannah was. He hadn’t thought past his growing feelings for Hannah and the determination to keep her in his life. Now, the thought of making not only a home, but a family with her excited him as much as having sex with her has each and every time they were together.
Watching Hannah discover her sexuality as a mature woman had been as exciting as slowly unwrapping a gift to reveal the surprise inside, savoring the
anticipation as each layer peeled off came closer to revealing the prize. The only question remaining was, how damaged did the events of last night and his neglect leave Hannah and what would he have to do to overcome both? He knew one of her biggest hurdles was coming to terms with how she responded to not only him last night, but to Colin and Jason being a part of giving her such pleasure. He suspected the longer she was away and dwelt on all that had happened the more likely it was she would look at her attack and miscarriage as some sort of penance for what she perceived as her sins.
Even though, in his opinion, nothing could be further from the truth, he had to consider how much he was willing to give up for her if she refused to return to the club, given that she’d be willing to return to Lexington at all. Mitch stripped and slid into bed, missing her soft body already as well as the pesky, tongue licking ball of fur that had wormed her way into his heart as surely as Hannah had. Could he give up the club as well as his more dominate sexual preferences for Hannah, a woman who was still uncomfortable with words like pussy and cock? Lying there in the dark, remembering the little catch in her voice when she starts to orgasm, the surprised pleasure that lights up her eyes each and every time she bursts with pleasure, as if she can’t believe it’s happening again, the stunned glazed look on her face when she comes down to earth, the more important question was, could he live without ever bringing Hannah such pleasure again?
The answer was a swift, unequivocal ‘no’. So, he would give her a little time and space then do what he had to to see she returned to where she belonged, with him, in his life and his bed.
Chapter Seventeen
Epilogue
Two Weeks Later
Nothing felt right, Hannah thought as she picked up a stick and tossed it for Roxy. No matter how hard she tried to immerse herself back into her Amish life, nothing felt the same. Her old clothes felt confining and hot, making her wonder how she stood them in this heat for so many years. She loved being outdoors, tending the livestock and working in Grandma’s garden, but she missed the excitement of meeting new people who wanted to hire her to photograph their special event, had liked being able to give them a lasting memento for them to cherish. She enjoyed walking around and visiting with old friends but missed her new friends. The simpler way of life here was peaceful, but she missed the challenges she had faced and conquered living on her own in Lexington as well as the modern conveniences in Aunt Mary’s kitchen. How quickly she had gotten used to putting together a meal or dessert from scratch with the help of all the fancy small appliances that her grandmother never even heard of.
But she missed Mitch more than anything else. She missed the way he called her sweetheart in that tone that was part sexy drawl and part loving caress that sent shivers up and down her spine every time. She missed the way he looked when he bit into a dessert she made him, closing his eyes and moaning as if he was in ecstasy, missed the way his hard body spooned her at night and the way he growled her name when she frustrated him.
Hannah bent and played tug of war when Roxy returned with the stick, smiling at the way she growled so viciously while wagging her tail. Mitch had accepted Roxy without complaint, cleaning up her accidents and tucking her next to them when she managed to make it up on the bed, just like he had accepted her first request for sex without stipulations or complaint, despite having to put his preferences aside because of her inexperience. She wondered where they’d be now if she hadn’t lost their baby, if he would have accepted that responsibility as chivalrously as he had the challenge of indulging in an affair with her. She would never know, not only because of the miscarriage, but because she has ignored his daily calls since leaving Lexington, and now she hasn’t heard from him in the past three days. She has come to terms with her loss and with the trauma of being a victim, now she wondered if her next challenge was going to be coming to terms with losing the man who managed to do what no other had done, replaced Caleb in her heart.
In hindsight, she saw her mistake in listening to that other woman’s taunts without giving Mitch a chance to explain. She was caught at a weak moment, but admitted that was no excuse. She had wronged both of them by running that night, and paid a hefty price for her mistake.
Hannah felt eyes on her, knew her grandmother was sitting in her rocking chair on the back porch, her knitting in hand as she watched her with a worried frown, her Aunt Mary next to her. She wished she could ease their worry, but Hannah was still struggling with what she wanted to do now that the numbness of shock and grief has worn off and she was faced with the decision of where to go from here. She finally realized she was mourning what could have been with her husband more than the actual loss of a child she knew nothing about. It went against their beliefs to mess with Mother Nature and without asking, Hannah had always known Caleb would never consent to fertility tests. If he had, it would have saved a lot of anguish for her. It was just one more thing that showed her how much she had given up for her husband and how little he had given her in return, which made her appreciate Mitch’s concessions on her behalf even more.
“How long are we going to let her mope?” Mary asked her mother as they both watched Hannah walk aimlessly through the field of wildflowers, her dog bouncing around her feet in playful abandon, obviously oblivious of her master’s mood.
“She spends her days working my garden, working in the stables, working in the kitchen and house. It breaks my heart, what’s happened to my girl. But it is time to push her a little.”
Mary looked at her mother, saw past the age lines that seventy years of hard living had put on her, and saw a woman of great strength, compassion and love. “It’s my fault,” she said with a pang of guilt. “I shouldn’t have asked her to house sit for me. I thought getting away from her memories here would be good for her.” And she thought Mitch would also be good for the niece of her beloved sister whom she couldn’t love more if she was her own. Mary had flown home as soon as possible after Hannah called and asked to borrow her car for a trip back to Ohio for a visit. Sensing there was more to the story than Hannah was letting on, she had quickly called Mitch and gotten the whole story. Hearing the worry and remorse in his tone, she asked him point blank what he wanted from Hannah. His swift answer of “Everything” was all she needed to hear to set her mind at ease.