That knife he’d stabbed her with slowly turned. “You never told me any different,” she whispered through tears. “And your actions sure as hell told me what you were afraid to admit was in your heart. Apparently, you’re still a coward.”
But she would not cry. She’d hold on to this last bit of dignity she had.
“What happened to Malinda?” Callie asked, almost not wanting to hear the answer.
Noah’s eyes hardened as he held her gaze. “She died of a drug overdose a year ago.”
Of all the things she’d imagined him saying, that hadn’t even made it on her list.
“She wanted to be an actress,” he went on. “She wanted that big life she’d always dreamed of, and before I knew what was happening, she was hooked on drugs. Painkillers. I tried to get her help. She even went to rehab twice, but checked herself out both times.”
Callie listened, knowing this confession was costing him, but right now they were both bleeding out for the other to see.
“I should’ve seen the signs earlier, should have done more. But in the end, I failed her.”
Callie’s heart broke for the man, the doctor who thought he should save everybody. But her heart also broke for herself at the realization of what he was not saying.
“So, was I the charity replacement?” she asked. “You couldn’t save her so you thought you’d save me?”
Noah’s gaze darted away, then came back. “I didn’t see it that way, but probably in the beginning, yes. I didn’t want to fail someone I cared about.”
“Care about?” she cried. “You didn’t care about me, Noah. You cared about redeeming your flawed image of yourself. You cared about that damn ego and didn’t once think about how this would hurt me, humiliate me. Did you think we’d just be intimate and I wouldn’t fall for you? That I wouldn’t start thinking long-term thoughts about us?”
She’d come this far, might as well rip the rest of the Band-Aid off.
“Did you think I wouldn’t love you?” she whispered, no longer caring that tears had slid down her cheeks. She held his gaze, wanting him to see how he’d damaged her even more.
“I wish you’d never offered to help.” Callie swiped at her unscarred cheek. “I would’ve much rather been on my own than know I was a fill-in for someone else.”
He started to reach for her, but she shrank back against the door. “Don’t even think of touching me.”
Noah dropped his hand and nodded. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Callie. You’ve come to mean more to me than I wanted.”
“If that were true, you wouldn’t have used me as a replacement or tried to hide your past.” She refused to listen to another lie or another excuse. “Take me home. And by home, I mean my apartment. You can bring my other things later and leave them on the stoop. I don’t want to see you again, Noah.”
“Callie, you can’t mean that.”
Her eyes slitted. “Oh, I mean it. And consider this my notice for the office. Effective immediately.”
Sixteen
Noah moved through Callie’s room. Her bed was rumpled where she’d slept, his shirts she’d worn were folded and lying on the trunk at the end of the bed. Her sandals were strewn around the room, and the second he stepped in here, he was enveloped by her sweet, floral aroma.
Noah gripped the edge of the dresser and closed his eyes. He’d majorly botched up everything he ever had with Callie. By protecting his heart, he’d completely crushed hers. What kind of man did that to an already vulnerable woman?
He glanced into the adjoining bath, his eyes instantly falling onto the tub where he’d helped her with her hair that first day. It was only six weeks ago, but so much had happened since then.
Aside from her quick healing, she’d opened up emotionally, she’d fought to not let her accident ruin her, he’d met her family and instantly felt a connection to them when they welcomed him into their home.
But the main thing that had happened was his heart had been taken over. Noah had sworn when Malinda died that no one would ever fill that void…and no one could. But he realized now that Callie found a new place in his heart to reside and she wasn’t replacing Malinda at all. What he found with Callie was new, fresh and so real he didn’t know why he hadn’t seen it until that hurt, anger and despair flooded her eyes along with tears.
It was those tears that nearly killed him. He was the cause of those tears. He did this to her and he would have to be the one to fix it.
As a surgeon, he knew all too well that fixing things wasn’t always simple or easy. But it was worth the time and effort.
And Callie
Matthews was worth everything he had in him to give. He wasn’t letting her go that easily.