“All of the palace computers have been upgraded, and they put yours in while you were gone. I made sure the security on yours was set up the same as your old one, and I also made sure your old files were transferred. Everything is on there under the same names, just how they always were.”
When he glanced back at her, there wasn’t a hint of any emotion on her face. Not a twinge of a smile, no dark circles under her eyes to indicate she’d been losing sleep. Absolutely nothing.
Which pissed him off even more.
“Is this how it’s going to be?” he asked, gritting his teeth. “With you pretending you didn’t change the dynamics between us?”
Kate blinked, pulled in a deep breath and shook her head. “I don’t know what you want from me. I can’t erase what happened, yet you still want me to work for you, so I’m doing what I can under the circumstances. I can’t tell you what you want to know, because—”
She spun around. Luc waited for her to finish, but she kept her back to him as silence settled heavily between them. There was no easy way, no secret formula for them to get beyond this. He wasn’t all that convinced they could move on, despite what his mother and Mikos had said during their pep talks.
“Because why?” he pressed, when she remained quiet. “Why can’t you tell me your reasons? I’m ready to hear it. I need to hear it, Kate.”
Still nothing. Luc stepped forward, closing the space between them. “Damn it, I deserve more than your silence. You can’t hide like this. You don’t get that right. Tell me what prompted you to not only lie, but keep up the charade and play me so perfectly that you ended up in my bed.”
“Don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t make me say it.”
Luc grabbed her arm, spun her around and forced himself to hold her watery gaze. “I refuse to let you out of this scot-free.”
Squaring her shoulders, tipping her chin up and swiping a hand beneath her eye as one lone tear streaked out, Kate nodded. “Fine. You want to know why I did it? Why I lied to you so easily? Besides the doctor’s orders of not saying anything
more, besides the fact that the deception just got out of control, I knew it was the only time in my life you’d ever look at me like you cared for me. Like you actually wanted me. I knew it was wrong. I never justified my actions, and I won’t defend them, because there’s no way to make any of it okay. But don’t make me tell you more. I can’t, Luc.”
Her voice cracked on his name. Luc kept his hand on her arm as he took a half step closer, nearly towering over her. “You can,” he murmured. “Tell me the rest. Now.”
He was so torn between arousal and anger. He’d always heard there was a fine line between hatred and passion. No truer words were ever spoken.
“I fell in love with you,” she whispered, her eyes locking onto his. “Is that what you wanted to hear? Do you hate me so much that humiliating me is the only way to make yourself get past the anger? Well, now you know. I’ve bared my soul to you, Luc. You know about my adoption, which few people do. You know my secret fantasies—you’re the only one in that category—and that I’m in love with a man who’d rather belittle me than ever forgive me, let alone love me back. My fault, I know, but that doesn’t stop the hurt.”
A viselike grip squeezed his heart at her declaration. Why did he feel anything akin to sympathy toward her? She’d done every bit of this to herself, pulling him along for the ride.
“You don’t love me.” He dropped his hand and stepped back. “You don’t lie to someone and manipulate them, taking advantage of their weaknesses, when you love them.”
“I never lied to you before this and I won’t lie to you again,” she vowed, crossing her arms over her chest. “So when I tell you I love you, I’m being honest. I know my word means nothing to you, and I know I went about everything the wrong way. There is no excuse for my behavior, so I’m not going to stand here and try to make one.”
Luc watched as she pulled herself together, patting her damp cheeks, smoothing her hair behind her shoulders and standing tall.
Even through all this, she remained strong. He wanted to hate her, because that would be so much easier than to stand here and be torn in two. She’d betrayed the trust they had built, yet at the same time she had tried to keep her distance. He’d been the one to pursue the intimacy. He could look at this situation from so many angles, but none of them gave him the answer or made things any easier.
“You have every right to fire me—I deserve it. But if you insist on keeping me, I think it’s best if we keep our relationship professional and try to move on. That means no rehashing the mistakes I made. I can’t have you throwing them in my face.”
The longer she spoke, the stronger her voice got. The woman who’d emotionally professed her love for him just moments earlier had transformed back into the businesslike assistant he’d always known. Who was the real Kate?
Was she the loving, passionate woman back at the beach house? Was she the take-charge assistant, or was she the conniving woman who’d ruthlessly insinuated herself into his life when he’d been weak?
“I agree that from here on out, we’ll keep our relationship strictly professional.”
Luc prayed like hell he was telling the truth. He needed to keep his head on straight, focus on securing the title and not think about how much he’d fallen for his assistant.
* * *
Well, that plan to keep things professional was about to get blown apart.
Kate closed her eyes, gripped the stick and willed the results to be different.
Peeking through one eyelid, she still saw the two pink lines glaring back at her. If they had been on a billboard or neon sign they couldn’t have been any more eye-catching... She couldn’t look anywhere else.
And no matter how long she stared at it, the results were still going to be the same. Positive.