From the way Reese made her feel, to the fact that she’d never felt such a rush of emotions, to the way he’d eased back when she’d reached for him. Everything was different now and she had no idea how she could juggle all of these feelings and still remain calm.
Josie crossed her arms and rubbed her hands over her skin. The breeze off the ocean washed over her, tickling her and doing nothing to dampen her arousal.
And she was still aroused. True, Reese had brought her to pleasure, but she wanted more. He’d left her wondering what else she could experience with him. What would happen if they managed to get all of their clothes off? If they were skin to skin and not worried about anything else beyond physical intimacy?
How would this change their relationship?
Not only that, if she completely let go and gave in to her desires, there would certainly be no controlling where it led. She’d never felt like she was floundering before, but that’s exactly where she was right now. The decisions she should make collided with the decisions she was making and all of it was confusing the hell out of her.
A sickening feeling settled deep in her stomach over the possibility of losing her very best friend. She couldn’t afford to be without him. She couldn’t imagine even one day without texting or talking to him. He literally knew her secrets; he was her go-to for everything.
And he’d made her eyes roll back in her head and her toes curl with a few clever touches as he’d laid her out on his kitchen table.
Shivers racked her body as she recalled every talented trace of those fingertips. Who knew her best friend had such moves? And who knew she’d love it so damn much?
Dinner earlier had been strained. Josie wasn’t sure if things were awkward because she was still aroused or because their relationship had shifted so far away from something she could recognize and label.
Regardless, Reese and his chef had outdone themselves with all of her favorites. She only wished she could’ve enjoyed them more.
Josie turned back toward her room and closed the patio doors at her back. She had to get up early and look refreshed for her Q&A and photo shoot. Considering it was well after midnight, she wasn’t sure how fresh she would be able to make herself. There was only so much carefully applied concealer could do.
The silk of her chemise slid over her skin as she padded her way back to her bed. Every sensation since she’d felt Reese’s touch only reminded her of how amazing he’d been. Every moment since her release, she’d ached for more and didn’t know how to make that happen.
But didn’t she know? She was just as much in charge of what was going on as he was.
But was she as brave? Nothing scared or worried Reese. That was the main area where they were 100 percent opposite.
In that kitchen earlier, though, they had been completely and utterly perfect.
Except for that one-off with Chris, Josie had never done something so spontaneous in her life. She made plans for everything and typically got irritated when her plans were shifted or canceled. Some might have even called her a nerd, but she preferred to be described as “structured.”
Right now, though, she preferred to finish what Reese had started. Or maybe she’d started this? Regardless of who’d started what, the fact was, nothing had been finished.
And maybe she opted to break out of her perfect box because Reese made her feel things she’d never felt before. Maybe, if she was being honest with herself, she liked experiencing her reckless side with him because she knew she was safe. Reese would never let her get hurt.
Was he in his room thinking about what happened or was he fast asleep without a care? Knowing Reese, he’d fallen right to sleep, and she wasn’t even a thought in his mind right now.
Well, too bad, because there was no way she could ignore this and certainly no way she could go to the Q&A and photo shoot while feeling such turmoil.
She didn’t know if she was making the best decision or the biggest mistake.
There was only one way to find out.
Arousal and nerves clashed inside her as she tiptoed down the hallway toward Reese’s bedroom.
This was insane, right?
She should just go back to her room, read a book or play on her phone or anything until she could push him from her mind.
But one step led to another and she found herself standing outside the double doors leading to the master suite. Josie placed her hands on the knobs and eased the doors open. Moonlight flooded the room, cascading a beam directly onto the king-size bed across from her.
She couldn’t do this. She shouldn’t be here.
What was she thinking? This was Reese. Her very best friend from school who had seen her at her absolute worst—when her prom date dumped her, when she had that dumb idea to get a perm and he told her she was beautiful anyway, when she broke out in hives from some new facial cleanser she’d tried for an article and he ordered in dinner so she didn’t have to go out in public.
He was her rock, her support...not her lover.
Josie turned back toward the hall.