I’d give anything to feel them on mine again. The last time he kissed me … no. I can’t go there. All I know is that I miss his touch. I crave it every second of the day, and if I don’t get to feel my nails digging into his back or his fingers tighten on my waist as I lose myself to his undeniable pleasure, I might just die.
I swallow hard and take a hesitant step forward. I’m terrified that he’s going to turn me away, and that the rejection is going to create an inferno inside me, one that I’ll never recover from.
All time is lost as I edge toward his bed, and as the sun dips below the horizon, the light in the room fades. But the darkness feels so much deeper than nightfall; it’s as if the shadowy depths of Carver’s eyes had seeped into the room around us, dragging me closer.
Pausing at the end of his bed, my heart races faster than I can keep up with, and the fear of rejection builds to impossible heights. My gaze sails over his body, and I bite down on my bottom lip, nibbling it as a rush of traitorous thoughts begin circling my mind.
I should go. This isn’t what he wants.
I’ve already made it perfectly clear that I won’t take him if it means losing the others, and he’s made it clear that he won’t take me if it’s a package deal.
This isn’t going to work. He and I… we’re a train wreck waiting to happen.
What the hell is wrong with me? Since when have I ever been the girl to freak out over something like this? This isn’t me. I’m not scared of putting myself out there; I’m not someone who backs down from a challenge, but Carver has my head in a mess.
My life is a million shades of fucked up right now, and despite how much I don’t want to admit it, I desperately need stability. I need people I can trust, people who are going to stand by me and lift me up, and if I hear the word ‘no’ come out of Carver’s mouth, it’s going to kill me.
I start shaking my head and Carver instantly gets up from his bed, slinking across the soft carpet as he makes his way toward me.
The need to back up slams through me, and by the time my shoulder blades hit the door, Carver finally reaches me. His arm raises above my head and he props himself against the hardwood. His heavenly scent consumes me. He’s just showered and there are still a few droplets of water sitting against his strong abs making my fingers flinch at my sides.
Carver leans into me, tempting me, teasing me with a good time, but I see it in his eyes, he’s not ready to cave and neither am I.
He gets closer but doesn’t dare touch me as my gaze travels over his body, scanning over his perfectly sculpted torso and dropping low to where his thick cock rests heavily in his hand.
Seeing what has my attention, he strokes his hand up and down, teasing his tip with his thumb and giving a firm squeeze.
A soft, desperate moan slips from between my lips as I clench my thighs harder, urgently needing to relieve the ache that builds between my legs. “What’s the matter?” Carver murmurs, his head dipping low beside my face as his unruly hair brushes along the soft skin of my collarbone. His voice rumbles right through my chest, the vibrations hitting me like a wrecking ball. “Have you changed your mind?”
My eyes close as I breathe him in, tilting my head as the satisfaction of being this close to him rocks through me. I’m so tempted to throw it all away just for this night with him, but I won’t dare. What I have with Cruz, King, and Grayson is too good. I’d be a fool to give that away.
No. I can’t. If I’m going to go there with Carver, then I need to wait until I can do it right. There’s too much to lose.
I shake my head, hating how the pain shoots through me at having to tell him no. All this time, it’s been him rejecting me, but not this time. This time, it’s his heart that’s going to ache, and for some reason, that makes it so much worse. “I can’t,” I whisper. “I won’t throw away what I have with them for a night with you.”
The tip of his nose brushes along my skin and I sink into him, needing so much more as his warmth begins to wrap around me. “It’s not just a night, Winter. Be with me. I need you.” He breathes in, and as my heart continues to ache, he goes on. “Seeing you bleeding out … and knowing that I did that, it opened my eyes. I have to have you in my life. I can’t lose you again. I won’t.”