And, fuck me, I felt like a parent with a newborn.
“Could I have a shower?”
We were home, and after carrying her up the stairs, then running back to make two more trips with all the shit she had, I’d finally closed the door and was hoping she’d be thirsty or hungry. Food and drinks I could deal with like a pro.
“A shower?” I looked in the direction of the bathroom. “Sure, we can do that.”
How the hell did we do that?
Wheeling her through the living room, I pointed things out to her. Not that she could miss her cat, who was meowing loudly from the kitchen.
“This is your room. It’s closer to the living room and kitchen than mine, but once you get walking, that’ll be a good thing. What do you think?”
I stopped in the doorway, giving her time to examine where she’d be sleeping. “The couch also pulls out into a bed, so I can always get it set up before I go to classes.”
Dropping her head back so that she was looking at me upside down, she smiled brightly up at me. “I love it. I’ve always wanted a Dorma bed, so this is an adventure for me.”
“I bought a memory foam and padded topper for it when my parents visited once. The memory foam’s five inches thick, and the padding’s meant to feel like feathers without them poking you in the back when you roll over. I’ve put that on, and it felt comfortable when I pressed down on it earlier.”
I was rambling, I knew I was, but I had good reasons for it.
One: I wanted to make sure she was okay while she stayed here. I was the reason she was broken, and I was responsible for making sure she didn’t hurt herself even more. It also ate away at me that she wouldn’t be comfortable or would be unhappy here, so I was going the extra mile to make sure that didn’t happen.
Two: I was off balance having someone in my space.
Three: I was about to put her in the shower, and people showered naked. A naked and wet Sasha wasn’t a bad prospect, but what if my hand slipped? I could be helping her sit down and end up with a hand full of tit by accident.
“It’ll be just fine, I’m sure of it.”
Smiling weakly, I turned the chair and pushed her to the bathroom.
“I got the shower chair for you to sit on, and there’s a shower head holder on the wall that we can move to the right height for you. It’s only got a sucker on it, so it’s not a big deal. I also bought some cast cover things, so we’ll get those over your arm and leg to protect them from the water.” Pointing it all out to her, I motioned over to the sink.
“There’s an adaptor on the faucet that you pull on so it turns into a hose. The guy said it would be easier for you, so you don’t have to reach so far. I’ve also moved the cup closer to the edge so you can put your toothbrush in it, and the soap, the toothpaste, the—”
“Jackson,” she called, stopping my rambling. “It’ll all be fine. Thank you so much for doing so much for me.”
“Well, I’m the reason you’re like this.”
“No, I’m the reason I’m like this. I should have checked the road better or waited until the morning to go to the pharmacy. I was also dressed in black at night, knowing that the road isn’t well lit in front of my building.”
Frowning, I nodded slowly. “Okay, what about if we each take fifty percent of the blame?”
“You got it. Now, how am I going to do this?” She stared at the space between where the chair was and the shower.
“The mat’s a special non-slip one, but I’d rather not test how true that is. Why don’t I put you on the chair in the shower, then you can strip in there? I’ll hang the towel where you can reach it and sit in the hallway with the door open, in case you need anything.”
That’s precisely what we did, and I sent off messages to my brothers to check in on them all as I waited, laughing at the photo Elijah sent me of his newborn daughter Bronte.
She was beautiful, and I’d been lucky enough to be at the hospital when she was born, so I’d witnessed some of the miracles of bringing a child into the world. Thankfully, they didn’t include the grosser side of childbirth, so I could still look Sadie in the eyes.
“Jackson?” Sasha called hesitantly.
“Yeah?”
“I can’t wash my hair with one hand.”
And this was where my hell began.
She’d already been changing in my mind from the young girl I’d grown up with to a beautiful young woman, and I was a red blooded male.