“You know I was adopted and I never really felt like I fit in my mother’s world.”
She spoke still looking down, and he knew she didn’t need him to reply. Cash waited. He quietly crossed to the overturned bucket that had been used for drywall and he took a seat.
“When I met Livie as a young girl, and then Melanie a few years ago, I felt like maybe I had sisters and a bond that nobody could take from me. But there was still a void.”
An ache spread through Cash’s chest. He knew voids. He’d learned to live with them; he’d learned to channel his thoughts elsewhere and not dwell on all that was missing from his life.
Or at least he’d been doing a fairly good job of it until Jade.
“I’ve dated, never feeling a connection,” she went on, then her eyes came up to meet his. “Then I came back to Haven and there you were. Such a pain in my ass, but even then, you managed to captivate me in a way like nobody before.”
She let out a soft laugh that had his heart clenching.
“That sounds silly,” she admitted with a smile. “But I don’t know how else to describe it.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” Cash replied. “You don’t need to explain.”
He’d felt that odd connection, too. Yes, they’d irritated the hell out of each other for the past year, but through all that, they’d also challenged each other. As strange as that sounded, their bond had started long ago, and somehow they’d just understood each other all this time.
Another tear slid down her cheek, and Jade swiped it away. Squaring her shoulders, she sat up straight, and Cash watched as she literally gathered her strength right before his eyes. This volley of her emotions from afraid to vulnerable to determined had him admiring her more. Yes, she’d hurt him, but he couldn’t help but wonder if she wasn’t here now in an attempt to start over.
“I’ve told you I was sorry for what happened the other morning,” she stated. “That’s such a blanket statement and apologies are so easily tossed around, but I mean it. Cash, I never wanted you hurt. I never thought we’d get caught before we could figure things out for ourselves. I just . . .”
She shook her head and glanced up to the ceiling.
“You what?” he asked.
Come on, Jade. Don’t back down now.
She brought her gaze back to his. “You’d spent the night and I’d started thinking how much I wanted you there, how I’ve never wanted a man in my bed all night before. I certainly never made a man breakfast.”
“The very male part of me is happy to hear that.”
She smiled. “I figured I’d throw that in there just for you.”
He seriously loved her. How could he ever think that because she’d hurt him by her rash actions, he could just ignore such a strong pull?
Cash stood and closed the distance between them, but he didn’t reach for her. Jade looked up at him as her brows dipped in.
“I got scared when my mother showed up,” she went on. “You’d just hinted at your feelings and all I could think of was how I felt the same way, but what if we were just two broken people who don’t even know what love is? How did either of us know to trust it when we’d clearly started everything based on a lie and sex?”
Unable to resist another second, Cash squatted down and smoothed her hair from her face as he cupped her cheek. She turned into his hand and closed her eyes as her chin quivered.
“Those are all justifiable fears,” he told her. “If it makes any difference, I was terrified to tell you how I felt. Hell, I still am. But I couldn’t keep it to myself, and you deserved to know. I was done with hiding; I was done with caring what anyone else thought.”
“And then I denied everything,” she whispered. “If I could go back and change everything, I would. All I can do is tell you that I love you, that I want to try—”
Cash covered her mouth with his. The moment the word “love” slid through her lips, something in him snapped. He’d been waiting for it. He’d known in his heart, but he’d needed to hear the actual words. And now he had them.
Jade’s fingers threaded through his hair as she opened to him. He hadn’t seen or touched her in days and kissing her still didn’t seem to be enough.
Yet he eased back and rested his forehead against hers.
“I didn’t want to be another person who let you down,” she murmured. “Your father and your ex have, and I just kept thinking I’m no better. I was supposed to comfort you; that’s why you opened up to me, because you needed me . . . and I destroyed that hope you had.”
“No,” he countered, brushing his lips along hers. “You didn’t. You’re human. I wanted to hate you in that moment; I even tried. But you’re part of me, Red. I can’t let you go.”
She gripped his wrists as he framed her face and eased back to look him in the eye. “I told my mother I’m staying here. She tried to convince me to go back to Atlanta, to take a prestigious position at my old firm. But I said I was buying Livie’s house and I may have another job opportunity here in Haven.”