A louder bunch of groans were heard, along with a squeal from Saffy. “No, no. Here, I got you,” she said, and tossed him a bracelet.
“What? I don’t need that. I got this covered.”
“Covered is what we want,” Vi said. “Covered is good.”
But Fred only turned around and looked coyly at us over his shoulder. And waggled a very well-padded behind in blue and shite striped boxers, which he sloooowly began to pull down. And then laughed at our horrified expressions and threw in his tie.
“You guys don’t know what you’re missing.”
“And we are totally okay with that,” Vi said, looking relieved.
A bunch of other assorted pieces of clothing were tossed onto the counter, and light dawned. “You’re playing strip poker?” I said. “In here?”
“The door was locked,” Vi pointed out.
“You know Hilde can shift, right?”
“Oh, God,” Reggie said.
He’d appeared totally miserable this entire time, I assumed from embarrassment. He hadn’t looked me in the eye once, and appeared to be trying to slide under the table. But Vi caught him.
“Come on. Pay up,” she ordered.
“I—I can’t.” If possible, he flushed an even brighter shade.
“Whaddya mean, you can’t?” she asked, leaning over the table. And then she laughed. “You bastard! I thought you still had your tighty-whities left. You went commando?”
“I didn’t know we’d be playing,” he whispered. “And I thought I’d win. With Rico gone—”
“Rico was here?” I asked.
“Where do you think all our clothes went?” Vi said.
“Rhea came into the kitchen, and he disappeared,” Fred told me, rolling his eyes.
“They’re out on the balcony, in the moooonlight,” Saffy added, and giggled. She’d obviously been hitting the sangria pretty hard.
“Good riddance,” Vi said. “I swear he was cheating. Like this poor bastard here.”
“I—I’m sorry, Lady,” Reggie whispered.
“Forfeit! Forfeit! Forfeit!” Saffy said, hitting the table with a fist. “We demand the naked chicken dance!”
“Ssshhh!” Fred said suddenly. “I think I hear something.”
Everyone paused.
“Oh, shit! It’s Hilde!”
Pandemonium broke out, and Fred grabbed his trousers.
“Give me mine!” Saffy said, but Fred just spread his hands. “I don’t see ‘em. Rico must have taken them.”
“Rico took my jeans?”
“Quick!” Fred told me. “Send them somewhere!”
“Where?”