I head for cellblock C, and when I see Crulden seated on the edge of his bed, my heart leaps in my throat. He looks so damn dejected that it hurts me. His shoulders are slumped, his big body listless. He doesn't look up when I approach down the hall, either. I must not smell like me, I realize—the hair stuff's flowery scent is a little overwhelming. I move to one of the windows and tap gently on the glass to get his attention.
"Mina!" His growl of surprise makes my system flood with pleasure. I smile at him as he jumps to his feet, and then I move toward the antechamber, swiping my cuff so I can get in and hold him—touch him—for a while. There's a guard down the hall, but I ignore him.
My cuff doesn't work, though. I scan it twice, and then when it keeps buzzing a decline, I slam my fist against the door pad. "They won't let me in to see you."
He puts a hand to the glass. I hate the wariness in his eyes. I hate that there's fear there—not for himself, but for me. "When do you come back?"
"I don't know." I press my hands to the glass, wanting to touch him so badly I ache. "I miss you."
His mouth curves in an almost smile. "You just saw me this morning."
"It doesn't matter. I still miss you. I hate this. I hate all of it." I want to tell him about my conversation with Milly, but I don't dare. We can't have privacy. Everything I say to him has to be spoken loudly to get through the glass, and there's no way I'm blurting the plans out. "I just wanted to see you." I give him a hesitant smile. "No matter what happens, play along, okay? Don't attack. There's too much at stake."
"If they keep you from me," he warns, a dangerous look on his face.
"If they keep me from you, they're not going to have any reason to put us back together if you attack the guards," I point out, glancing at the a'ani down the hall. "Just…hang on for a little longer, okay?"
"Did he touch you?" Crulden demands. "I can't make out your scent." His fingernails score against the glass, and even though they're blunted, I hear the screech of glass underneath them.
I shake my head. "I'm fine. No one touches me but you."
His nostrils flare, but he seems to accept this. "No one but me."
And because I'm feeling lonely and desperate and worried, I need more. I need to show him how I feel. I want to hold him and bury his face against my breasts. I want to stroke his mane and reassure him that everything will be all right. That we'll be together. That no one's going to tear us apart now that we've found each other.
But this fucking glass is separating us, and they've deactivated my cuff as if that's going to keep us apart. An idea flicks through my head, and I grab my skirt and lift it up. Lord Sir thinks I'm a disgusting human? I'll show him how disgusting I am…and I'll show Crulden how much I care for him.
Crulden's eyes narrow as I hike my filmy skirts up to my waist. "What are you doing?"
"Showing you a little something that's just for you," I say, breathless. I slide a hand between my legs and start to touch myself like a damn heathen. I circle my clit with gentle fingers, until I'm wet and aching, and I keep going, putting on a show for my man. Crulden watches as I finger myself, my chin lifted in defiance. They think they can keep us apart? They don't fucking know us.
They think we shouldn't touch? That because he's some monster in their eyes that I shouldn't want him?
I show them just how much I want him. Just how wet he makes me, all from a glance. And I know they're watching. I know there's cameras logging this. I know the guard at the end of the hall is watching. I know all of it's going to be reported back to Lord Sir.
When I come, I bite back a moan, because only Crulden gets to hear my sounds. I drag my fingers through my wetness one more time, and then smear it on the glass so he can scent it. "That's for you," I tell him. "No one else."
I don't care who saw. Let them look. Let them all fucking look.
30
MINA
I'm in a slightly better mood by the time I head to dinner. They're keeping me and Crulden apart, but I feel like I've established how I feel about such things—and Crulden knows how I feel about him. Lord Sir does his best to hide the disgusted look on his face when I move to his side, and I'm pretty sure I reek of pussy.