“Be nice.” He approached the bar. “Hey… Pep…per…aris.”
The bartender frowned at him. “Are you having a stroke?”
His face flushed with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I forget your name.”
“Have we met?”
Nothing like being forgettable. “I’m Ryan’s brother, Patrick.”
“Oh, Patrick! Now I remember you!” She laughed. “The name’s Perrin.”
Perrin. He needed to remember that. “Is Maggie around?”
“No, she and Ryan had to do a cake tasting in town. What can I get you?”
He ordered two beers and heard a screech from the pool tables in the back. A split second later, he was being attacked by a redheaded devil.
“You’re home!” His cousin Sheilagh tackled him like a crazed ape loose at the zoo, then sprung off his back and clobbered Jo with hugs and kisses. “Oh, my God, I love your hair! City life totally agrees with you! And—” She snatched Jo’s left hand in an unbreakable grip. “What the holy hell is this?”
Jo pressed her lips tight in a cheeky smirk and flashed her dimples. “I’m getting married.”
“You are? To who?”
Jo looked over Sheilagh’s shoulder, and his cousin turned to follow her stare, looking right through him. She turned back to Jo. “Who is it?”
Jo laughed. “It’s Patrick.”
“No, seriously, who is it?”
“Well, my self-esteem’s about shot for the day,” he muttered, then waved Perrin closer. “Can I get a shot of Tully with my beer?”
“You got it.”
The bartender stepped away and Sheilagh frowned. “What’s the punch line?”
“There isn’t one. Pat and I are getting married.”
“No, you’re not.”
His shot arrived and he tossed it back. Sheilagh wasn’t the most tactful person, but she also wasn’t stupid. “Just tell her.”
But Jo was having too much fun messing with her. “We’re in love.”
“Nope. Not buying it,” Sheilagh snapped. “First, it’s Pat—”
“Thanks, cuz.”
“Second, he’s serving frank and beans, and last I checked, you were only ordering tacos.”
“Classy.” He sipped his beer.
“And third, no offense, but he’s been completely obsessed with your sister, since she shared her pudding cup with him in Mrs. Kreb’s class.”
And that was his limit. He pointed to the empty glass. “Another shot.”
“You got it.” At least Perrin was on her game.
Jo shook her head. “Ix-nay on the Ulie-Jay.”
“Tell me the truth.”
“Fine, Pat bribed me to come home by promising to be my boyfriend, so my mom would stop trying to fix me up with all her church friends’ sons. I thought this would be more fun.”
“Oh my God, how did she take it?”
“Not well. It was great!”
Sheilagh’s eyes widened. “You guys are going to have to keep this up all week with the way news travels in this town.”
“It’ll never work.” His other shot was delivered and he pushed a few dollars forward on the bar. “Too many people know we’re just friends. And anyone who actually knows you knows I’m not your type.” Was he anyone’s type?
“I don’t know,” Sheilagh debated. “I think it’s believable. I mean, friends to lovers is a popular pattern. Plenty of people marry their best friend.”
Was Lance Julie’s best friend? What did they talk about? What could she possibly have in common with that guy? Certainly not enough to spend the rest of her life with him. Good thing the whiskey was kicking in.
“Let’s test it out.”
“Wait. What?” Before Pat could stop her, Sheilagh plugged two fingers into her mouth and let out a long, sharp whistle.
Sue popped her head out of the kitchen and smiled. “Pat!”
“You’re both evil,” he grumbled.
Sue had been a bartender at O’Malley’s for years. She knew all the latest town gossip and had a talent for sniffing out bullshit.
Pat greeted her with a hug, and Jo did the same. “Josephine! I didn’t know you were coming home, too.”
Jo shrugged. “I figured I’d make a quick appearance. Besides, we have some news.” She waved her fingers, flashing the diamond ring.
Sue gasped and examined the ring. “Dear Lord, is that what sunk the Titanic?”
“It’s gorgeous, isn’t it? Pat did a great job picking it out.”
Sue did a double take and gaped at them with a wide smile. “You did this?”
He might as well play along. “Guilty.”
“Well, it’s about time. I mean, I heard you two were living together, but I just assumed it was business as usual. No one told me you were actually gettin’ busy out there in the city. Congratulations!”
Sheilagh smirked and winked. If they could fool Sue, they could fool anyone. Besides Sheilagh, no one really knew Jo dated women.
They had a celebratory round of drinks, and soon Maggie and Ryan arrived. Pat was tipsy enough to actually play into the lie, and it felt nice to pretend for a minute. But when his brother got the news and gave him that skeptical look, he knew they were caught. It wasn’t that Ryan knew Jo was gay but that he’d suffered through countless conversations about Julie. When Pat was younger, he could spend hours obsessing over one of her eyelashes alone.