I should have had years with him, should have had at least a decade before he decided to hate me. And it was all gone. He’d been a tiny baby in my arms yesterday, and now he was a man and he didn’t need me anymore.
“Damn it. Come here.” Danny huffed and dragged me into his arms. “Baby, he didn’t mean it. You’re both in bad places. He was a child yesterday for you, and you were the perfect mother for years for him. He didn’t get the chance to grow and change with us. God, he’s so damn much like you. It was inevitable that you would spark off each other, but you didn’t get the time to learn how to fight with him.”
I didn’t want to fight with him at all. I didn’t want to fight with any of them. “He doesn’t understand.”
“Baby, none of us understands,” Danny whispered. “We all need time to adjust. I promise you we will get through this.”
There was a knock and I looked up, praying it wasn’t another child of mine come to accuse me of not loving him.
Sasha stood in the doorway, a grim look on his face. “I’m sorry to interrupt, Your Highness. You have to know I wouldn’t unless it was an emergency.”
I stepped away from Danny and tried to wipe my eyes. We seemed to move from one crisis to another, with no time to breathe in between.
Danny reached for my hand, but I avoided him. I couldn’t accept his affection. The guilt I’d felt moments before had tripled. Danny and Dev had been giving our sons attention and building relationships with them, and I’d held myself back because I couldn’t handle the idea of this place.
I was the problem.
My husband gave me the look that meant he wasn’t done with me, but he turned his attention to Sasha. “What is it?”
“Myrddin sent us a message,” Sasha said. “And a dead body.”
I forced back my pain because we had a job to do.
Chapter Twenty-One
I felt so numb as Dev sat down beside me. Rhys and Dev had been found quickly, but Lee was still out in the village. Sasha sat in his place across from Danny. Zack sat where he always had—at Danny’s side. He looked healthy and whole. He was back in a suit, and though it was big on him, the way he was eating it would soon fit him perfectly again.
It was good to see Zack smiling, but I couldn’t feel the joy I should.
“Are you all right, Mom?” Rhys placed a mug of tea in front of me. “You look like you could use some food. I could have Albert make something for you.”
I shook my head. “Dinner’s almost ready. I can wait. Thank you for the tea.”
Would he be so solicitous if he knew what Lee did? Would he ever forgive me?
“You’re welcome.” Rhys sank down to the chair beside mine before turning Sasha’s way. “What’s happened? Who did he kill? Does this have anything to do with what I did this afternoon?”
I reached for his hand. “Sweetie, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
He gave my hand a squeeze before letting go. “I know, but it seems a coincidence. And I know Alexander contacted Sasha about it earlier. Myrddin hasn’t made a real move on us in months. Lately, he’s been satisfied with putting bounties on our heads.”
“Well, we knew he would likely make a move now that the king has returned,” Sasha said.
“Who did we lose?” Danny wanted to get right to the bad news. It was his way. He took the hit and moved forward.
“The body of Nancy Luthor was left behind the bookstore in Reykjavík. She was a witch I recruited a few years back. She wasn’t one of my higher-level spies, but she was solid,” Sasha stated. “She had been stabbed, but the wizard hexed her so she was able to give us a message.”
Zack had been among the group that had used the portal to Reykjavík. Now that he was healthy again, he was taking his place as one of Daniel’s generals. “Her body was dead, but Myrddin used it to speak through her. Lily went with us, and she’s ensured that Myrddin can’t use the body in such a fashion again. She’s at rest.”
I was glad I hadn’t been there to witness this message of his. “What does he want?”
“A meeting, of course,” Sasha replied. “He wants the king, the queen, and Devinshea to come to Dallas. He’s promising a neutral place. He’s allowing you four guards and will submit to wards around the meeting place if that will make you feel more secure.”
“Sending a body doesn’t instill a lot of hope in me,” Danny said tightly.
“Yes, well, I believe the body was meant for me, and it’s possible Myrddin plans on throwing me under the bus, to use an American saying.” Sasha wore a grim expression. “First he’s telling me that he knows more about my network than I think he does. Second, I believe he’s going to try to convince you I was always the problem and that he’s tried to hold everything together. He will do this in an attempt to ascertain if he still has control over you.”