My heart is a stone dropping into my stomach. “I don’t want to take your dad’s place. I couldn’t, and I wouldn’t try.” I swallow hard. It’s not your fault he died. “I won’t pretend I don’t feel guilty that we lost him. That’s there, but it has nothing to do with me wanting to be here for you.”
He nods, still not meeting my gaze, and that stone in my gut turns into an ache.
“You can think about it. There’s no rush to decide.”
“Are you going to marry Teagan?”
The question catches me off guard and I laugh. “Hell, it’s a little early for plans like that.”
“But . . .?”
“But if that’s how it turned out, I’d consider myself luckier than I deserve.”
After swinging by my house to get the mail, I go to Jackson Brews to grab lunch. This morning’s conversation with Isaiah left me raw but hopeful. I have no doubt the arrangement would bring up a hundred complications I haven’t even considered yet, but I know that it’d be worth it. If he doesn’t want to live with me, that’s fine, but I want him to know he’s welcome. I want him to understand he might have lost his father, but he has a family beyond his grandmother.
“How’s Operation Fake Boyfriend?” Jake asks, one brow cocked.
“I’ve moved on to Operation Make Her Mine,” I say, pushing my plate away. For once, I’m stopping because I’m full and not because of my lack of appetite.
Jake grins. “I approve.”
“I thought you might.” I trail my thumb through the condensation on my water glass. “She has secrets.”
“Don’t we all?”
I nod. “Sure. I only hope she’ll eventually trust me with hers.”
My phone buzzes by my arm, clattering against the bar top—once, twice, three times. I grin as I grab it, expecting a text from Teagan and hoping for a picture. Or a few pictures. It’s just after noon, and she thought she’d be done with the henna party by now. We don’t have anything scheduled until the rehearsal and dinner tonight, and I’ve spent my morning preoccupied with the idea of spending the afternoon in bed with her. Maybe she could try on the lingerie her sister bought her and then spend some time getting her to let me slowly peel it off.
I unlock my phone, but my smile falls away when I realize it is a picture, but it’s not from Teagan. Sabrina has sent me a picture of her panties—colorful scraps of lace and silk spread out across a stark white duvet.
Sabrina: Which of these is the sexiest? Asking for a friend who wants to look her best when she returns to your family’s bar tonight.
Sabrina: If your answer is NONE, then I can tell my friend that too.
Sabrina: Or maybe I should model them to give you a better idea?
“Fuck,” I mutter. “She can’t take a hint.”
“Myla?” he asks.
“No, that journalist from last month. Remember the one who didn’t tell me she was in town to do a story on me until after I took her to bed?”
Jake’s eyes are wide. “I don’t think you told me about that. If you’ll recall, you haven’t been Captain Shares-a-Lot lately.” He extends a hand, palm up, for my phone. “Luckily, you’ve turned over a new leaf, and your brother Jake is here to help you clean up your messes.”
I give it to him, and he frowns at the screen before looking back at me. “Mind if I scroll through the history?”
I grimace. “What ever happened to boundaries?”
“Oh, so it’s that kind of history. In that case, I’m good.” He hands back the phone. “Was the story she did bad?”
I drag a hand through my hair. “No, it was more of the same. She described my house like I invited her in to do her little investigative report, but she really wasn’t saying anything everyone else didn’t already say.”
“You’re saying it wasn’t an exposé about how Carter the puppy hero takes home different women every night?”
I wince. “Was I really that bad?”
He lifts a shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. “Only you really know the answer to that.”
I think this over for a minute. We both know that, speaking literally, I was never a different woman every night guy. The real question is whether my actions were as despicable as Jake made them out to be the day we fought in Brayden’s backyard. Truth be told, I wouldn’t judge anyone for having a couple of regular bedroom partners or for taking home a woman from time to time—assuming everything’s consensual and the limitations of the relationships are clear. But maybe what upset Jake so much was that I wasn’t being true to myself. Before the warehouse fire, I always wanted more. And after? After, I didn’t dare want anything beyond any given moment. Because I didn’t believe I deserved it. Teagan makes me want more, though.