I watch her as I move, and she holds my face in her hands. When tears trickle out of the corner of her eyes, I kiss them away, and she smiles at me.
“They’re happy tears,” she promises. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I murmur.
Her eyes float shut, and I can feel her tightening around me. I kiss her as she comes. Kiss her as I sink deep and pray to God that this is real and not some amazing dream.
LIZZY ADJUSTS the diamond pendant on my necklace and sniffs back tears. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.” This is really it. My wedding day. The first day of the rest of my life with Maximilian Hallowell.
Liz sniffs again and wipes away tears. “He’d better know how lucky he is.”
“He knows,” calls a deep voice.
We both gasp and turn toward the back exit to the area above the gallery, toward the sound of Max’s voice, deep and sure as he walks in the door.
“You’re not supposed to be here,” I object, but the words don’t hold much conviction because, truth be told, I need to see him. I need to see the confidence in his eyes when he talks about our future. My stomach is a mess of butterflies and rattlesnakes and I’m not sure which will win.
He draws in a long breath as he looks me over. “You’re so gorgeous.”
“I’ll give you two some privacy,” Lizzy says. She presses a kiss to my cheek and whispers so only I can hear, “You deserve this.”
I have to look at the ceiling and breathe long and slow. I just did my makeup. I don’t want to have mascara streaming down my face when I walk down the aisle.
Lizzy closes the door behind her as she leaves, and Max and I just stare at each other for long seconds before he steps closer and takes my hand.
“Are you ready?”
I nod, and when he presses his lips to mine, I return the kiss. Something in the back of my mind tells me that I’m a liar, but I ignore it because Max’s lips are on mine, taking little sips from my mouth until the tension starts draining from me.
The door opens again, and Liz slides in. “It’s time.”
“I’ll see you downstairs,” Max says.
I watch him leave, even though I want him to stay. I want him to hold my hand and walk me down the aisle. I want him to get me to the spot I know I need to go. Because Max is going to take care of me, love me. But can I really marry a man, even a man I love more than myself, when I’m only in possession of half of my heart?
The music starts playing downstairs, and Liz grins at me. “That’s my cue.”
She leaves me to begin her descent down the stairs into the gallery, and I back against the wall and remind myself to breathe.
The music changes to the bridal march, and I right myself and take a step forward, but someone grabs my wrist and tugs me back. Turning, I gasp at the sight of Nate’s dark brown eyes connecting with mine.
I try to breathe, but I can’t. I try again, but something’s weighing down on my ribcage.
Nate flicks his gaze over me, and I realize I’m naked in my bed with Max’s arm wrapped around me. Nate climbs into bed on the other side of me. He lies on his side, not touching me with anything but his eyes. I slide Max’s arm off me and reach for Nate, and he disappears.
My eyes open to darkness, loneliness, and guilt. Max is sleeping next to me, naked and beautiful, his hand reaching for me in his sleep. My heart is hammering and I feel like I’ve just run up three flights of stairs. Breathe, I remind myself. Just breathe.
I want to fold myself into his arms and let him soothe the anxiety away, but the dream has left me feeling too guilty to take the comfort of his arms.
I climb out of bed and lock myself in the bathroom before I start crying.
I DON’T open my eyes until I hear the bathroom door close. Rolling to my back, I thread my fingers through my hair and press my palms against my eyes.
She whispered his name in her sleep. One word. One syllable. Nate.
My chest is torn by conflicting emotions. Jealousy—because we made love last night and then she dreamed about another man. Heartache—because she’s hurt and grieving, and I’d do anything in my power to make it better. If I could, I’d deliver Nate to her door alive and well just to erase the pain from her eyes.