The breakfast seemed unending, her head throbbing with the rich food and drink, her body aching with a bone-jarring tension that made her jerk away from Sebastian when he rose, to cup her elbow, when they eventually left.
'Dios,' he swore, his eyes darkening to graphite, 'why do you shrink from me like a petrified virgin?'
Because that's exactly what I am, Jessica longed to scream, but somehow the words wouldn't come. Why on earth had she allowed him to think otherwise for so long?
She had the long drive back to the hacienda to dwell on her folly. She had no illusions about the nature of their marriage. It would be for life and there would be nothing platonic about it. Sebastian wanted children, he had told her so, and so did she, but up until now she hadn't allowed herself to think any further than the fact that she loved him. Now she was forced to concede that he believed her to be a sexually experienced woman; while in fact…
The hum of the powerful air-conditioning was the only sound to disturb the heavy silence of the car. Sebastian was driving the Mercedes himself, and his glance flicked from the road to her pale face, with dispassionate scrutiny. 'You are very pale. Do you not feel well?'
'A headache,' she managed to whisper, through a throat suddenly painfully constricted.
'That is the excuse of the married woman, not the bride,' Sebastian told her curtly. 'You are my wife, Jessica, and I will not have you reneging on our marriage now. There is something more than a headache troubling you—what is it?'
Was this the moment to tell him the truth? She cleared her throat hesitantly, wishing he would stop the car and take her in his arms. Somehow then it would be much easier to tell him that she was still a virgin.
'Stop playing games!' he warned her irately, swearing angrily as a cyclist suddenly wobbled into the centre of the road and he had to take evasive action. 'Por Dios, my patience is almost at an end!' he muttered savagely. 'I can only thank God that I am spared the necessity of initiating a virgin. We were interrupted at a singularly inappropriate moment by my aunt and Pilar, and my need for the satisfaction their appearance denied me has been an aching hunger in my body ever since. But it is one which will be fully appeased tonight,' he added grimly, shocking her with his frankness.
'My payment for the privilege of bearing your name?' Jessica said tautly.
'Payment?' He frowned. 'What rubbish are you talking now? Your desire was as great as mine— you admitted it.'
And so she had, but that desire had been aroused by her love for him, and had been totally obliterated by her fear. How could she tell him the truth now?
'The others are a long way behind,' she murmured nervously at one point, glancing over her shoulder at the dust-covered road.
'They are indeed,' Sebastian agreed dryly, 'a full twenty-four hours behind. Tonight we shall be completely alone—my aunt's suggestion, and one I could not argue against. As it is, she points out to me that many of the family find it strange that we are returning to the hacienda.
'I'm sure Pilar will acquaint them with the truth,' Jessica heard herself saying bitterly. 'That I trapped you into this marriage, just as you once thought I was trying to trap Jorge.'
'Pilar will say nothing,' Sebastian assured her coldly. 'And you are becoming hysterical—I cannot conceive why.'
No, Jessica raged inwardly, you wouldn't, would you? You're totally unfeeling and blind. If you weren't you'd know that I'm not…
They turned into the drive leading to the house. Dusk had crept up on them as they drove, and the evening air was full of the scent of the flowers, the chirp of the crickets filling the silence.
As Sebastian had said, the house was completely and almost eerily empty. She felt his eyes on her back as she headed for the tower, freezing as he drawled mockingly,
'You are going the wrong way. From now on you will share my suite.'
His suite. His bed! Almost suffocating with the fear crawling through her body, Jessica allowed
him to propel her towards another flight of stairs. This was a part of the house she had not previously seen. A large but austere sitting room looked out on to a secluded, darkened courtyard. Lamps threw soft shadows across the room. It | was decorated in soft mochas and creams; modern furniture that was entirely masculine. Expensive Italian units lined one wall, two dark brown velvet-covered settees placed opposite one another across an off-white expanse of carpet. 'The bedroom is through here.'
Jessica stared disbelievingly. Surely when he had talked about his desire he had not meant that he intended to satisfy it now? She stared blankly at the door. It was barely seven o'clock, far too early to… A hundred confused thoughts jumbled through her mind. She had been hoping to find a way of telling him the truth; had hoped that during the course of the evening his manner might soften a little… 'I'm hungry,' she lied wildly, 'I…'
'So am I,' Sebastian agreed obliquely, 'and I thought I had already warned you about playing games with me… What are you trying to do?' he demanded brutally, 'drive me to the point where I'll commit rape? Does the thought of that turn you on, is that it?'
'No!' Jessica was totally revolted. 'I…' 'I'm not ready' was what she wanted to say, but how could she? 'I'd like to shower and change, if you don't mind,' she managed with pathetic dignity, 'It's been a long day, and…'
'Of course I don't mind,' he said smoothly. 'The shower is through there.'
He indicated a door across the width of the bedroom. As she craned her neck to see it, Jessica was acutely aware of his proximity, of the maleness he exuded and her own tremulous reaction to it.
'If you'll just excuse me for a second,' he drawled mockingly, 'there's something I have to do.'
At least he was affording her some brief respite, Jessica thought thankfully as she saw the sitting room door close behind her. He probably realised she would prefer to prepare for what was to come in private. The bedroom was as masculine as the sitting room, echoing its colours, with sliding patio doors into the courtyard. She flicked the light switch and instantly the room was bathed in soft light.
What about her clothes? she wondered anxiously. She could scarcely put back on her silk suit. She had just reached the sitting room door and opened it when Sebastian seemed to materialise out of nowhere.