hough she had known that he cared about her, and Ricky of course had made it more than clear how little physical contact he wanted with her. That, coupled with her mother’s defection, had ensured that her life had been lamentably short of people to lean on, and it said much for her emotional state that she was now actually doing so.
Harry waited until the sobs had subsided into muffled hiccups interspersed with words of apology, before handing her a handkerchief and saying easily, ‘Mop up, then we’ll both have a drink and talk this through.’ He saw her face and grinned at her. ‘You forget, Kate, I’ve had two daughters of my own. I know what it’s all about.’
Feeling remarkably weak-minded, Kate allowed him to propel her into the small sitting-room where he poured them both a drink.
‘Liz will wonder…’ But she broke off when Harry shook his head.
‘She won’t wonder anything,’ he told her firmly. ‘She told me when I came in that you were upset about something… or rather, perhaps, someone. Care to talk about it, Kate?’
Unbelievably she did. It was as though all the self-control that had held her together for so many years had completely disintegrated following Dominic’s reappearance in her life. She forced herself to go back to the beginning, telling Harry briefly about her marriage… twisting the whisky tumbler tensely in her fingers as she did so, and then hurriedly taking a nerve-strengthening gulp before telling him about her attempt to seduce Dominic.
Her eyes were on the glass she was holding so she didn’t see the compassion in his eyes as he looked at her downbent head. Poor Kate, always so calm and self-controlled, but inwardly a mass of tensions and fears. Some men oughtn’t to be allowed near any woman, he thought, listening to her, but he kept silent, letting her go all through her story.
‘And so…you’ve run away from him,’ he said quietly, when she had finished. ‘But why, Kate? He wants you…you want him…’
‘I love him,’ she corrected bitterly. ‘And I ran away because I’m afraid, Harry. I can’t forget that he’s already rejected me once…that he hated me, resented me…’
‘I doubt that, Kate.’
She looked up to see Harry shaking his head. ‘You say he’s told you that he couldn’t make love to you the first time, even though he wanted you, because you were his friend’s wife. The type of man driven by compulsive desire and hatred of that desire doesn’t react like that, Kate… I think you’ll find if you asked him that he hated himself.’
‘But he thought…’ Her mouth trembled and she went on, ‘He thought I was sleeping around with everyone I could find. He despised me, Harry…and now suddenly he’s saying he wants me. I can’t trust that kind of turnaround. All the time I’m with him I’m tense…waiting for the axe to fall, so to speak, and for him to tell me it’s all been a trick, that he doesn’t want me at all.’
To her chagrin, Harry grinned, his eyes twinkling as he said drolly, ‘From what you’ve said to me I surmise that he’s already demonstrated most definitely that he does want you, Kate…and that’s something it’s very difficult for a man to fake…but I know what you mean.’ He became more sober. ‘I can see that he’s used his image of you as a means of defence against wanting you, but you can’t blame him for that. Men are very territorial animals, my dear, even in this day and age. Very few of them can tolerate sharing what they believe to be theirs. Now I’m not going to argue the pros and cons of that with you. I’m simply stating a fact, but are you sure it’s just him you’re running from, Kate, and not yourself as well?’
She tensed and looked sharply at him, demanding huskily, ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, my dear, that you say you love him, but it’s obvious that you resent feeling that way about him. You don’t want to love him, do you?’
Kate frowned. ‘No. No, I don’t…it makes me feel too vulnerable,’ she burst out impulsively. ‘It frightens me, Harry.’ She hugged her arms round her body, suddenly looking very forlorn and young.
‘Then you should understand how he feels, shouldn’t you?’
Her head came up sharply, her eyes widening.
‘Most human beings are by nature defensive, Kate,’ Harry told her softly. ‘Sometimes we have to put aside our defences and be open to others. Will he be able to trace you here?’
She shook her head.
‘Well then, if you do love him…if you really want him, I suggest you go back and talk to him. He may not be able to love you…but isn’t it better to face the truth than to keep on running?’
Was it?
Kate didn’t know. And she didn’t feel any closer to knowing the next morning when she woke up, thoroughly disorientated by the unfamiliar bedroom until she remembered where she was and why.
The day dragged, even though Harry and Liz did their best to keep her entertained, and at last after dinner that evening she made her decision. Getting up abruptly from the settee where she had been sitting with Liz watching television, she announced,
‘I’m going back.’
From his easy chair Harry smiled at her. ‘Good girl,’ he said quietly.
They both saw her off, Harry coming up to her car window to say gently, ‘Remember, whatever happens, Kate, there’s no shame in loving someone honestly. It’s when we try to be dishonest to ourselves that the problems start.’
The closer she got to the village the more her tension increased. It was all right for Harry to say stop running and tell him the truth, but now, suddenly, she didn’t know how she was going to face Dominic. Or even if he would want her to face him. He might already have left the village. He might be in London—anywhere…
Remember he’s looking for a house in the area, a calming inner voice interceded. But what if he wouldn’t see her…what if… Clamping down on her tumultuous thoughts, she slowed down as she drove through the village. It was already dusk and she intended to go straight to bed when she got home. Tomorrow she might feel braver about talking to Dominic. She certainly hoped so.
She drove carefully round what she knew to be an extremely bad bend, and then braked sharply as she saw what lay in front of her. On the opposite side of the road, its bonnet embedded in a low stone wall, was a large BMW. Behind it were parked two police cars, lights flashing. A huddle of men in uniform were grouped round the crashed car. It looked oddly familiar—and then sickeningly Kate realised why. It was Dominic’s car.