The hot water and the hard work which should have soothed her restless nerves and made her feel tired had no such effect. A restless, exhausting energy seemed to possess her, tensing the muscles she was trying to relax. When the doorbell rang she literally jumped, displacing a fair quantity of water on to the floor.
She had no idea who might be visiting her at this time of night, and reached hurriedly for a towel, wrapping it sarong-wise round her body as she ran downstairs.
The bell was still ringing, demanding and imperative, making her fumble with the lock and then fall back in consternation as the door swung open and she saw Dominic standing on the step.
Her shock and distress must have been mirrored on her face, because his own expression changed, his face white and strained in the harsh light from the hall.
Instinctly Kate fell back, groping for the door, shaking as she tried to close it against him.
His foot made it bounce open again, his fingers curling round her wrist, cool against the moist heat of her skin.
‘Kate… no, please… I have to talk to you.’ His voice was low and urgent, and Kate wasn’t sure if it was she or he who trembled, only that she could feel the ripples of tension running from where he touched her skin, making her shiver in a fine blending of apprehension and delight. For one crazy moment she actually wanted him to take all responsibility for any decision from her; to force open the door, so that she would be compelled to do whatever it was he wished without actually having to verbally agree to it. Such a thought was so at odds with her normal pattern of behaviour that it numbed her, the sheer force of the feeling he generated inside her leaving her both awed and alarmed.
He saw the fear darkening her eyes and misunderstood the reason for it, saying huskily, ‘Kate, don’t… I’m not going to hurt you.’
Incredibly she wanted to laugh. She could feel the beginnings of it welling deep down in her throat and knew that if she did not keep the muscles rigid, it would well out of her in peal after wild peal. Didn’t he realise how much he had already hurt her? That physical violence from him was the very last thing she feared?
‘Let me come inside. I… I need to talk to you.’
‘Why? To apologise for this afternoon?’ She forced herself to sound lightly mocking, avoiding looking directly at him, but even so she was aware of the tension investing his movements, but to her amazement he did not rise to the bait as she had expected, but simply said evenly, ‘Yes, for that… and other things.’
He shocked her so much that she automatically fell back, allowing him to follow her inside.
He was wearing the same jeans and shirt he had had on at lunch, and her senses minutely detailed the texture of his skin where his short-sleeved open-necked shirt revealed it for her inspection. Black hairs darkened his arms and curled just below the base of his throat. She had a mad urge to reach out and touch them, to see if they felt as vibrantly springy as they looked. The scent of his body was all around her, a combination of heat, cologne and musk. It confused and enthralled her, her heightened senses propelling her into a world where the powers of rational thought were drastically reduced.
She sensed a dramatic change in his reaction to her; the bitter resentment that had come across so strongly to her before was gone and in its place was a blend of humility and shame.
‘I mean it, Kate. Sue’s told me everything…about Ricky…about your marriage. God, Kate…!’
It was the cry of a tormented soul, and her emotions curled away from it in the same way that her sense of hearing cringed back from the sound of chalk squealing across a blackboard; a refined form of torture which owed nothing to actual physical pain, but which was highly traumatic nonetheless.
As though she was set apart from what was going on she noted that Dominic didn’t ask why she had not told him the truth, her control shattered by a welling sadness because they both knew that he would not have believed her; that he would not have wanted to believe her, just as she would have preferred him never to have learned it. It was safer that way—for both of them. Their mutual hostility had been a form of security, protecting them from… From what? From love? Kate shuddered then, acknowledging the full force of her feelings for him, and saw as he reached out to touch her that he had misinterpreted her fear as revulsion.
His whole face darkened as a tide of colour swept up under his skin, his eyes naked and vulnerable as they met hers. It was more than she could bear; that she had to carry the burden of his feelings as well as her own, and she pulled away from him with a despairing moan so that his fingers missed her arm and instead grasped the loose edge of her towel.
So it was that fate ordained that which must happen and that which must not, she saw, as she felt the towel slip away from her body and saw Dominic’s face contort in a mixture of longing, anguish and pain. A human being could only fight so much…or manoeuvre so much.
She didn’t move…didn’t try to run as he scooped her up in his arms, his muscles contracting with effort, his breathing shallow and tense against her skin.
He carried her to the guest bedroom as she had known he would, laying her down on the bed as though she was a fragile and delicate as the petal of a flower, touching her skin with fingers that trembled convulsively, a blind, despairing look in the eyes that absorbed every detail of her naked body.
In silence he undressed and in silence Kate waited. An odd calm possessed her, a feeling that what was happening was something that was meant to be. She had tried to prevent it; she had tried to protect herself, but at every turn fate had conspired against her, and now there was no point in fighting any further.
Her calm was not one of numb acceptance, but the desire running so strongly within her was not something she yet felt able to express. It was almost as though some inner voice was urging her to wait…to channel and control her need. And the moment Dominic lay down beside her and took her in his arms, she knew why.
Sensation after sensation exploded inside her, each one newer and more forceful than the last, and yet she was still able to monitor and register Dominic’s need and desire for her.
They made love avidly, feverishly, desperately hungry for one another, with no desire or need for any leisurely preliminaries. They might almost have been lovers of several years’ standing, parted and now reunited, so readily did their bodies merge together.
Neither of them spoke; their desire too savage and consuming for words, the thick silence punctuated only by the sounds of their bodies moving urgently together, taking what they had both, in their separate ways, deliberately denied themselves in the past.
Kate felt no gradual build-up to the climax she had read so much about, but never before actually experienced, her body simply exploded in a frenzied burst of sensation that took Dominic’s with it. He cried out, the first sound he had made since entering the room, and then as the tumult eased from their bodies and he lay down beside her, taking her into his arms, Kate thought she felt the dampness of his tears against her skin.
Drowsily as sleep claimed her it came to her that her body was at peace, but that for her heart, the pain was only just about to begin.
CHAPTER SEVEN
SHE woke from a deep sleep during the filtering grey light of the false dawn, to find Dominic watching her, his head supported by his hand, his features indistinct in the poor light, but the tension in his body openly apparent.