He pivoted away and out the door, needing to put as much distance as he could between himself and her soft touch tempting him to throw away defenses a lifetime in the making.
Chapter 17
Stunned by Zach's harsh words, so full of hurt, still hanging in the air, Julia stared at the half-open door. His wounds and lack of trust ran so much deeper than even she'd known.
The front door opened and closed. Softly. Zach wasn't a door slammer, no surprise, but the solid thud echoed with finality.
Oh God, she couldn't let him leave. Not like this.
Julia sprinted into the hall just as his motorcycle growled to life. She slumped against the wall, the sense of failure turning her legs to sawdust.
He'd needed her, just as he'd needed Pam, but Julia hadn't been able to pull it together and be there for him. She'd spouted all about love and being stronger, but hadn't come through for him when it counted.
Across the hall, Shelby's door opened and she slouched against the frame. An overlong T-shirt grazed her knees, one of Julia's pilfered from the laundry. The shirt declared board-like letters Woodworkers Kick Ash. Julia knew she certainly hadn't lived up to the motto tonight.
Shelby scratched her ankle with her toes. "Men can be such nimrods."
Julia welcomed the laugh, even a watery one. Comfort come from the most unexpected corner. "They sure can."
Shelby shoved away from the door. "Since it looks like neither one of us is going to get lucky any time soon, wanna go find some chocolate?'
"Yeah, hon, I sure do." She hooked an arm around Shelby 's shoulders as they walked down the hall. "I think we'd both benefit from eating our weight in M&M's."
"I hear ya." Shelby shuffled to the cabinet, pulled open door and reached behind the coffee mugs. She tossed two bags of M&M's on the counter, crispy and plain.
Julia's secret stash. She sat at the kitchen table. "How did you know where those were?"
Shelby angled an adults-can-be-so-lame look over her shoulder. "That's a rookie candy-hiding move. You'll have to do better than that when Patrick's older." She opened freezer.
"Let's see what Ivy has squirreled away."
She rifled through the frozen goods, pitching bags of peas, corn and waffles in the sink before sighing. "Ahhh, pay dirt." Shelby spun around, a freezer bag full of Christmas candy dangling from two fingers. "Ivy's learned to hide things a little better than you, but then she's had a lot of practice lately."
Shelby sifted through the bag, nudging aside candy canes, foil-wrapped kisses, a chocolate Santa with his head bitten off. She cocked her head, then resealed the bag. "No need to teach her how to bury them better yet. Let the kid keep her illusions a while longer. She'll learn to hide things as well as I do soon enough."
Julia straightened. Suddenly, their midnight feeding frenzy became about more than food.
Like her father, Shelby hid her deeper feelings and thoughts well behind understatements.
Shelby hitched a knee up onto the counter, hefting her self up until she stood in front of the cabinet. Arching up onto her toes, she peered into the top shelf. She shuffled aside a dusty food processor to reveal a gold box.
The kid was good, no doubt. Julia wouldn't have touched that food processor for another fifty years.
Shelby leapt to the floor, Godivas clutched to her chest, and plopped down to sit at the table. She tugged the red bow and lifted the lid. "Silly to waste Mom's bribes on Aggie anymore, I guess."
Blinking fast without looking up, Shelby dug into the box, picked a white truffle and ate the first bite of her mother's presents in over a year. She chewed slowly, swallowed even slower, a new level of acceptance and maturity marking her face. "Not bad." She scooched the box forward. "Here. Try some."
Guilt hammered Julia in relenting blows. Zach was right that a break-up now would devastate all three of the children.
Julia covered Shelby's hand with her own. "Hon, I'm so sorry you had to hear all of that.
Your dad and I really have been trying to do the right thing for you kids."
Shelby didn't look up and Julia suspected she was covering more of those tears she'd hidden from Zach while she let herself soak up the comfort. Julia wanted to hug her and tuck her into bed and reassure her everything would be fine, but she couldn't lie.
Finally, Shelby slid her hand free. "My dad always hides his candy the best of all. He used to keep it in his truck, but I haven't been able to figure out where he hides it since Mom left."
There it was. Shelby's message hidden under all those understatements, but no less powerful for its subtlety.