She let her body speak for her as she kissed him, her fingers encircling him, guiding him forward. One bold thrust and he was inside her, then she couldn't have spoken even if she'd wanted to.
And she definitely didn't want to talk.
Her legs locked around him, heels digging in to hold him closer, safe and alive, oh so alive, against her, inside her, all around her.
So very alive when she could have lost him.
She could have still been standing on the runway, waiting for a plane that would never land and that scenario made her long to grab what she could from life and this man.
Faced with the possibility of losing him, the sense of what it would be like never to have any of him ever again, made her wonder if she could settle for less than everything.
Although, right now he was giving her everything she could handle and more.
Forget control. She collapsed onto her elbows. Her head flung back as she met each thrust, surrendering to the sensation of Zach moving within her. Maybe she could live without his love if they never had to talk, if they just plunged into this desire for each other until it consumed them both.
In her heart and even in her mind, she knew better. But that didn't stop her from wanting to be unwise and reckless, taking what she could from a life that had already taken so much from her.
She fought to hold on to Zach and this stolen pocket of time until the need for release clawed at her with painful intensity. She arched up, flinging herself against his chest, clinging, moving, straining toward...
Zach.
His mouth muffled her scream. Or had she taken his shout into hers? She couldn't pull together enough thoughts for more than melting into the moment and against him as wave after wave of completion crashed over her.
Trembling in the aftermath, Julia cradled his head in the curve of her neck and savored each caress of his heated breath over her skin. He filled her body and heart so completely.
Why couldn't she be content with that? Instead, she could only mourn that she would never fill his heart as fully.
Zach held Julia against him until they both stopped shaking.
And until he could be certain his legs would hold him if he backed away from the desk.
Just the scent of her drifting over him stole what little control he had left. He wondered if he'd ever find stable ground again. Or if he would even be given the time to try.
All his progress in convincing her to stay had been blown away in a day. In one flight.
Who the hell was he kidding?
The flight had been months in the making. He'd screwed up bit by bit in a hundred ways and still didn't know what he could do differently. The need to serve, defend and protect went beyond a simple occupation. Compromise too often involved life-and-death decisions. How could he reconcile his duty to his job with what Julia and his family seemed to want from him?
He didn't have a clue. Like flying through a storm with his instruments shot to hell and back, he could see the crash coming, yet couldn't formulate any plan for avoiding it.
But that wouldn't stop him from trying all the way to ground.
Sliding his hands beneath Julia, he lifted her from the desk. She mumbled a weak protest against his shoulder, but held on as he walked across the office carrying her. He lowered them both to the sofa, Julia in his lap.
Zach rested his cheek against her hair until her warmth seeped past the numbness into his skin. "Do you think we'll ever make it to the bedroom?"
He wanted to know in more than some passing sort of way. Letting him into her bed and making that room theirs implied a commitment Julia didn't seem ready to make. If ever.
And time was running out with the ground screaming toward his windscreen at mach speed.
"Well, Jules?"
Slowly, she stirred against his chest. Her fingers circled a light dance along the back of his neck. "After what happened today, I just don't know."
Even predicting her answer didn't stop the stab of disappointment. "I meant it when I said I was sorry. Today's flight was about more than fulfilling some job obligation or even trying to reconcile in my own mind what happened on my watch." His gaze gravitated toward the flags with unerring navigation. "It wasn't his fault, Jules. They tried to pin it on him, but damn it, I couldn't let that happen. A control tower down in South America screwed up and gave him the wrong headings. He probably never even saw that mountain coming—"
"Stop." She tensed against him. "Enough, Zach."