She wanted to let it go at that, but so many things tickled her sixth sense. Lori and Kathleen both showing up uninvited to keep her company while the guys flew.
Wonderful, but why today?
Lori's stiff-shouldered stance took on a whole new complexion that had nothing to do with simple back strain from pregnancy. Why was Gray flying with them on a TDY
mission when he'd come to South Carolina on vacation?
"South America."
Both women sat up straighter. Not even a hint of surprise flickered across their faces. Just concern.
"Kathleen, why are they in South America?" Julie tucked Patrick closer, stealing comfort in his solid baby weight against her hip. "Lori?"
Neither answered.
Insidious panic nibbled at her insides. Kathleen would be privy to military secrets, but if Lori knew too then Zach had withheld information he could have shared.
Julia strode across the yard, kicking a ball aside. "Tell or I'm going right up to that flight line and causing a scene like nobody's ever seen. Believe me. I'll do it."
The two women exchanged glances before Kathleen forged ahead. "They flew down to South America to clear up some unanswered questions about Lance's crash."
Julia's stomach lurched. "Unanswered questions?"
"The accident review board never found a conclusive reason for the crash. Sometimes that happens and we never know, so they just blame it on pilot error. The Colonel isn't satisfied with that answer."
How like Zach to carry his responsibility to his men all the way to the grave. She had to admire him for it even while she longed to slug him for closing her out. "Why all the secrecy?"
"Maybe he didn't want to dredge everything up for you until he closes the case conclusively. Who knows how men's minds work?"
Too many memories paraded through her head of another husband who'd evaded the truth, using extended TDYs and the "can't tell you where I am, babe" excuse to cover affair. She couldn't handle that game-playing again. Even while she had to believe Zach wouldn't actually cheat on her, she still hated the sick feeling all the lies brought roilling through her.
"Why the secrecy about today's flight?" Julia didn't intend to quit without an answer.
Lori avoided her by jumping up to check on her daughter behind the playhouse.
Unease shifted to something darker, something all the more frightening because of the unknown. "Kathleen? You'd better tell me, because it can't be any worse than what I'm imagining."
Kathleen stared back as two cars rumbled past before resolution settled over her face. "It's a common practice to retrace a route when there's been a crash to try and identify what went wrong."
Realization trickled over Julia one icy drop at a time, Zach was in the air, now, reflying the exact route that had killed Lance. Nausea nailed her. She swallowed it back one breath at a time.
Lori stopped beside Julia, carefully prying Patrick from her trembling arms. "He was trying to protect you." Kathleen managed a half smile. "Men can be pretty pigheaded about the whole over-protection thing. But you don't have anything to worry about. Yes, they're retracing the route, but during the day. Not at night as Lance flew it. They're being careful."
Anger slowly dulled the edge of her fear, or maybe only masked it. She didn't care or intend to waste time analyzing.
She'd thought at least in their friendship they'd been partners, but this news made even that partnership a lie. She might call him Zach, but he was still the Colonel. He might as well still be rotating her tires and cleaning leaves from her gutters, taking care of the poor widow woman. Damn him again for bringing all that fear slamming into her double force.
Lori and Kathleen could tell her all day long it was a safe, daytime mission and it wouldn't stop her from fearing the worst. She couldn't sit around watching for him to come striding through the door. Or not. Waiting on the runway would shave away a few of those excruciating minutes.
"Lori, I need you to watch Patrick. The girls' mother is picking them up in about an hour." Julia's fingers made fast work of her sweater buttons in spite of the shaking, The runway would be chilly and her wait could well be long. "Patrick eats at five. There's expressed milk in the freezer. Bottles in the cabinet."
"Hang on." Kathleen grabbed her arm. "The SPs will arrest you if you blast onto the runway like this."
"So?"
"Then you won't be there when the Colonel lands."
Julia's hands fisted at her sides. "Just let them try to stop me."