"I know that," he said automatically, rather than risk any more discussion on a subject he'd rather shut down.
The day was already ending on a bad enough note with the baby awake, teenager bawling her eyes out and dog in his bed. Of course the day might have had a crummy end, but it sure had been great before he'd parked the Harley under the carport.
He shrugged out of his jacket, draped it on the edge of the bed by her velvet gown and started on the shirt studs. He would salvage what was left of the night. Julia could make him forget. He worked a cufflink free.
"Uh, Zach?"
"Yeah, Jules?" He pulled his shirt off.
She cradled her son closer, chewing her bottom lip with that self-conscious air again. "I know this may sound crazy after what we did tonight, but I'm not sure I'm ready for you to sleep in here."
A cuff link dropped, bounced off his shoe and rolled along the hardwood floor. Slowly, he looked up.
"Why?" he asked and hoped like hell she would roll out some explanation about how the cranky baby might bother him and he would reassure her he didn't give a damn. He wanted to crawl into that bed with her and sleep for twelve hours.
"I just don't think I'm ready to take that step yet. I heard what you said to Shelby, and you were right. Sex without a commitment is wrong. That demeans it, turning it into something less than it should be." The rub of red along her neck from the scratch of his beard mocked him from across the room.
"For God's sake, Julia." He stood, draping his shirt over a hanger, a shirt that still carried the scent of roses and! Julia. "We're married. You can't get much more committed than that."
"Commitment is about more than a piece of paper." Her soft-spoken words didn't dilute the power of the punch, "We both know this isn't a committed marriage beyond the summer when you leave for Alabama."
"Do you want it to be?"
What the hell had he said?
Shock leveled him like a SCUD missile.
Once the shock faded, the idea shifted around in his mind. Why impose a deadline that would end a good thing? A better-than-he'd-ever-imagined thing, judging by the scratches Julia's nails had left on his back tonight.
They'd started this for the kids, and his girls needed a unified front now more than ever.
And damn it, he'd grown attached to the little bruiser. He wanted to be there for those first steps.
Yeah, he'd been a rotten husband for Pam, but he and Julia were going at this from a different angle, as friends. Hadn't they both learned their lesson about romanticized views of marriage? Real life meant getting through a day at a time and that's just what he and Julia should do.
First he had to work past that stunned glaze in her eyes.
"Well? Do you want to give it a shot past the summer?" He took her silence as permission to persuade. "We're not doing too bad here. Why not give it a chance? We have the kids, friendship and incredible sex in common. That's more than a lot of people ever have."
"You aren't in love with me, Zach."
What was he supposed to say to that? "You aren't in love with me either, Jules. What's your point?"
"Without love, this isn't going to last. If we go beyond the summer, eventually one of us is going to break it off. Someone will get hurt, most likely the children, and the longer we're a couple, the worse it will be for them if they grow more attached to us being together."
Zach sifted through her words, searching for the best way around her defenses. Aggie nudged his hand with her nose. He reached behind him to scratch the dog's head while he strategized.
"Zach? I'm serious."
"I hear you." Even if he didn't agree. But he would wait to push it later when she didn't have that stubborn set to her jaw.
"That's it? You're okay with this?"
"I'm not happy about it, but you made your point."
She slumped back in the chair. Was that a hint of disappointment on her face or wishful thinking on his part?
Standing, Julia shifted the sleeping baby to her shoulder and tightened her robe. She stopped in front of Zach, holding her son to her like a shield between them. "Just so you know, I don't regret what we did tonight."