A dangerous wish since she wouldn't know what to do with such a statement even if he made it. Julia threw out the first line of defense that came to mind. "We never settled the issue of sex. I mean it when I say I'm not ready and you almost had me convinced you were okay with that. Zach, the kiss changes everything."
"Only if we let it, and we won't."
Zach advanced another step. She retreated until her back smacked flush against her car.
"Stop. Please."
"Okay. I hear you." He held a hand up. "If us ha**ng s*x is a stumbling block to doing what's right for the kids, then we'll do without. We'll go back to the way things were last year other than sharing a house. I'll buy that day-bed for the computer room first thing tomorrow.">A moan vibrated through her throat.
His forehead fell to rest against hers. "Julia?"
Her lashes fluttered open. "What?'
Zach stared into her sleepy eyes, needing to hear her say she wanted him too, praying she would admit it soon because he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold back. "Trust those instincts, Julia. You know too, don't you?"
"Yes, Zach, I know. Now kiss me, and please make it as awesome as I think it's going to be. Make me forget everything else for just a while."
He'd never been one to turn down a challenge.
Zach took her mouth, fully. His tongue swept inside, deeper, chocolate, Julia and heat flooding his senses. Her fingers glided up to his face, cupped, caressed until he could almost swear she revived nerves long dead. He tried to hold back and shower her with gentle enticement.
But she was having none of that.
He should have known better.
Julia threw herself into the kiss with all the exuberance he'd come to recognize she devoted to every second of life. Her arms locked around his neck, her lips parting, inviting. Demanding. And he planned to accept the invitation as well as the challenge.
She moaned into his mouth, her hands running down his back and drawing him closer.
Soft br**sts to solid chest, she strained to get as close as they could without him pulling her out of that car or laying her down inside. Need pulsed through him—hot, thick and urgent. No half measures, he wanted all of her now.
That commander voice of reason within him insisted he was losing control. Somehow, his calculated persuasion had backfired, because kissing Julia, taking that kiss beyond and finishing became too important. That was unacceptable. He forced his hands to ease their hold around her.
Rustling sounded from the back seat, followed by a squawk.
Patrick.
Reality splashed over Zach like the ice-cold shower he would be taking in a few short minutes. He pulled back. What the hell had he been thinking? He hadn't been thinking at all. One kiss from Julia, and he'd forgotten about the sleeping baby in the back and the other two children inside the house liable to burst out at any moment. Not to mention an entire neighborhood full of people.
No ma'am, he hadn't been thinking of anything except Julia.
Zach rested his forehead against hers. Their ragged breaths battered the air between them.
He'd made thousands of snap decisions in the air as well as on the ground and never once doubted his judgment.
Until tonight.
She'd been dead-on correct that he should have kissed her before proposing, because now he knew a marriage between them could never work. If one kiss from Julia could so shake his focus, months of her in his bed—should he be so lucky as to lure her there—
would blast away any hope of control over himself, his feelings and his life.
There had to be another option. And he would find one as soon as he could breathe right again.
He pumped air into his lungs until lights sparked in front of his eyes. Lights? Zach frowned, turned, finding...
Car lights swept across him as the base security police idled into his driveway. Not just any cop, but the chief raster sergeant in charge of security sat behind the wheel.
Not good.