He could see the wheels churning, and his instincts told him he was making headway.
The promise of victory surged through him.
Her eyes narrowed. "What about sex?'
Victory leapt backward.
Leave it to Julia to spell it out, but then he'd always liked that about her. No games. No artifice. Just Julia. Too bad he didn't know the right answer to her question.
Honestly, he wanted her. Not a chance could he see himself turning down an offer to have those long legs and her husky laugh wrapping around him. But if her acceptance hinged on a no-sex agreement, he would lock up those thoughts so tight she would never know.
"What about sex?"
"I'm afraid I misled you with what I said earlier, about finding you attractive. I do. Find you attractive, I mean." A smile whispered over her mouth. "Really attractive. But." The smile vanished. "I'm not ready to have a man, any man, in my bed again."
"Julia, I understand you just had a baby. I realize your body needs time to heal."
"That's not what I meant. It's been the requisite six weeks. My body may have healed, but my heart..."
Straight up and honest, she met his gaze. "It's a long way from ready, and right now, I can't imagine a time when I'll ever be ready to open myself up to any kind of relationship again."
Disappointment chugged through him, but he wouldn't let that rock his determination.
"All right, then. We'll make it a platonic thing. I'll put a daybed for myself in the computer room. You take the master bedroom since it's large enough for the crib too."
"For nearly a year?" She laughed again, a short snort of disbelief. "Get real, Zach. I don't expect you to stay celibate that long because I have some hang-ups." She clutched the bear to her stomach like a lifeline. "Call me crazy, but if we did marry, even a no-sex kinda thing, couldn't take it if you slept with someone else."
Bronco's words earlier about Lance's affair burned into Zach's brain. Damn Lance Sinclair and his ability to reach beyond the grave to hurt Julia.
Zach chose his words with care, strategy never more mission-essential than now. What he said became important beyond convincing her to marry him. He needed to heal those fears for her and reassure her that some men could be trusted. He could be trusted. "Julia, I've already gone without sex for over a year and it hasn't killed me yet."
Although there were times—like now—when he suspected it might.
"You have?"
"You know my schedule. When has there been time! Every spare second, and there haven't been many, I've spent with my kids."
Her gaze skittered around the car, anywhere but toward him. "I figured that maybe during TDYs..."
She'd thought about his sex life before now? A promising, exciting as hell, admission.
Except the woman was busy listing all the reasons she couldn't sleep with him.
Wings level. Stay the course. "Keeping crewdogs out of trouble on TDY is a full-time job. There isn't time for anything else."
Her gaze landed flat-out on him. "Give me a break."
There came that directness of hers again, which meant she would respect honesty in return. "Julia, I'm a regular guy with a healthy sex drive." A hundred percent healthy at the moment, not that she needed that much honesty. "But I've had years to practice controlling myself. You know how much time cargo fliers spend away from home. Not once did I ever cheat on Pam."
Julia's thumbs stroked over the bear's ears. "I'm not Pam."
Thank God, for him and for his girls. "I know." He tugged the toy from her and took her hand. He brushed her wrist with his thumb as she'd stroked the stuffed animal. "But married is married, regardless of the conditions when those vows are taken, no matter what the time frame. I'm a man who keeps his word and as long as we're married, I won't touch another woman. You can trust me."
He pushed aside the thought that he wasn't being completely honest with her about Lance's accident. The commander voice inside told him it didn't matter. That was classified business so it didn't concern the here and now with Julia.
She stared at their clasped hands. "You'll actually consider that long without sex, when you've already gone over a year without?"
His libido offered a shout of protest.