"You have?"
"You know my schedule. When has there been time! Every spare second, and there haven't been many, I've spent with my kids."
Her gaze skittered around the car, anywhere but toward him. "I figured that maybe during TDYs..."
She'd thought about his sex life before now? A promising, exciting as hell, admission.
Except the woman was busy listing all the reasons she couldn't sleep with him.
Wings level. Stay the course. "Keeping crewdogs out of trouble on TDY is a full-time job. There isn't time for anything else."
Her gaze landed flat-out on him. "Give me a break."
There came that directness of hers again, which meant she would respect honesty in return. "Julia, I'm a regular guy with a healthy sex drive." A hundred percent healthy at the moment, not that she needed that much honesty. "But I've had years to practice controlling myself. You know how much time cargo fliers spend away from home. Not once did I ever cheat on Pam."
Julia's thumbs stroked over the bear's ears. "I'm not Pam."
Thank God, for him and for his girls. "I know." He tugged the toy from her and took her hand. He brushed her wrist with his thumb as she'd stroked the stuffed animal. "But married is married, regardless of the conditions when those vows are taken, no matter what the time frame. I'm a man who keeps his word and as long as we're married, I won't touch another woman. You can trust me."
He pushed aside the thought that he wasn't being completely honest with her about Lance's accident. The commander voice inside told him it didn't matter. That was classified business so it didn't concern the here and now with Julia.
She stared at their clasped hands. "You'll actually consider that long without sex, when you've already gone over a year without?"
His libido offered a shout of protest.
Which Zach ignored. No time to waver now, because even if he backed down he couldn't envision any other woman he wanted in his bed.
Besides, there was nothing to say he couldn't try to persuade her later. "You're an incredible woman, Julia, and I won't lie to you. I want you. If you change your mind about sleeping together, I certainly won't turn you down, but the call's yours to make."
Her brows pulled together. "How can you be so sure that if I change my mind, you will still want me in your bed for as long as we stay married? We've never even kissed."
Zach knew an invitation when he heard one, and there was no mistaking her gentle sway forward. All the restless adrenaline from his flight stirred to life. "Instinct. It's everything to fliers. We learn early on to trust what it tells us, and my instincts tell me we will be good together. Very good."
He lifted her hand and pressed his mouth to her wrist without ever looking away from her face. Her pulse leap approval under his lips. Zach tucked her hand against his chest and slid his fingers along the back of her neck, up into her hair and coaxed her head forward.
He might be willing to marry again for his kids, make any sacrifice for their well-being, but this moment was for him.
And Julia.
Julia.
One last time he checked for hesitation. He found a flash of wariness, but longing overrode it by a mile. Her bottom lip fell open just a hint, all the confirmation he needed, Right or wrong, she wanted this too.
No more waiting.
He skimmed the corner of her mouth once, twice, drawing her bottom lip between his teeth until she whimpered. Her lashes drifting closed, she turned her face toward him, bringing their mouths closer. "Please."
"Not yet." Zach shifted his attention to her jaw, up to her ear. With so much riding on a single kiss, he planned to take his time and make that kiss so persuasive she wouldn't be able to walk away. So persuasive she would be too weak-kneed to walk. Period.
He outlined the delicate shell before pausing to whisper, "I haven't kissed you, Julia, not yet, but I still know I want you. Just you."
Her head fell back, exposing a stretch of neck he couldn't resist, didn't have to resist for once. His mouth found the pulse he'd traced earlier with his thumbs, but still he didn't kiss her. He continued his determined assault on her senses, trying to ignore the undeniable effect she had on his own in the process.
He traced his way back up until his mouth rested against her temple while he held her.
"We still haven't kissed, Julia." He breathed against her skin. "But you know too.">Nobody's going to think less of you if you want to scream down the whole neighborhood.
Definitely a helluva year."