And what about the man within him? He wanted to hang Lance Sinclair out to dry for hurting Julia. For giving her all the more reason to shut out reminders of the Air Force.
As always, the commander finished in first place. "Answer their questions. You don't have to hand them Lance on a silver platter, but give them what they ask for."
Bronco's exhale echoed. "Yes, sir."
The ping of a TACAN navigational aid locking in dragged Zach's focus back to work, where he intended to keep it until he landed. Only two hundred miles to the California coast.
In the homestretch, he would see Charleston again within six hours. Zach changed radio frequencies until he had California's Travis Air Force Base Command Post on the line.ll-dress uniform, Lance smiled out of the crystal frame.
Her stomach gnawed on itself like the grinding tug of a saw chewing at a piece of hardwood. She was truly alone. Alone to bring up a precious child totally dependent on her for so much more than most children.
The awesome responsibility washed over her—along with a surprise surge of anger at her husband.
If only Lance hadn't convinced her to forgive him for doing the unforgivable, then died before she could finish reconciling her feelings. She had managed to accept that he'd had an affair. She hadn't, however, been granted time to find a way to forgive him for loving the other woman. The kind of woman he should have married.
Knowing her feelings were unreasonable didn't stop her from shifting some of that pent-up anger at Zach. How could he tempt her with thoughts of what it would be like to share responsibilities with someone again? To trust someone again—even if only with friendship?
She didn't dare think about the desire to touch him in a way that had nothing to do with friendship.
"Zach," she said his name, trying to ignore the thrill of it tripping off her tongue. "Please don't take this the wrong way, because I do think of you as a friend. One who's become too important. You have to go. We'll work something out later for the girls to see the baby like I promised, but you have to stop coming here."
"Damn it, Julia," he sighed with uncharacteristic impatience. "You can't do everything alone."
"I'm not." Already, his stoic face tugged at her. "My parents are coming for a couple of weeks. My friend Lori's flying in for another."
She scrambled for a persuasive reason to give him for why she would accept help from others, but not him. Her eyes landed on Lance's picture, providing her with an excuse not far from the truth. "It hurts too much having you around. Even without the flight suit or rank, there's no mistaking who you are. You're the Colonel. You carry yourself with the bearing of an Air Force officer. You walk with the confidence—hell the cockiness—of a jet jock, and I can't take the reminders right now."
Waiting for him to speak, she wondered if he might scavenge an argument that could sway her. Did she want him to? "It's not you. It's what you represent that I can't be around."
He took a barely discernable step back. But from a man who shared little of his feelings the gesture relayed bucketsful of how she'd rattled him. Forcing him out of her life hurt more than she expected.
Zach began shaking his head, and Julia braced herself for an argument from a man who could convince troops to follow him into hell.
His cell phone chirped in his back pocket.
As if in response, the military radio blared from the porch through the open door.
For once, Zach didn't bolt to answer.
"Shouldn't you—"
"That's why they make caller ID," he assured her, maybe trying to assure himself as well.
He cricked his neck to the side until his shoulders lowered. "All right. I have to respect your decision, but you have to respect where I'm coming from too. You've been there for my girls, and I want to be there for this little guy. There's no shame in a new mother asking for help."
Zach smoothed a hand along Patrick's back. His hand continued up to palm her cheek.
"Just know you can call me. Anytime. Anywhere. For anything."
She squeezed her eyes shut. Why did he have to pick now to use those words?
With her eyes closed, her senses heightened, betraying her resolve. Zach's callused skin against her cheek reminded her of unsanded oak, rough, natural. Strong.
Just as she weakened, ready to tip her face into the sheltering heat, into the power and strength of his touch, his hand fell away.
The heat lingered.
Her eyes drifted open. He reached for his phone as he turned to the door, military bearing ingrained in his stride.