The evils of feeding a dog table scraps be damned.
She set the dish on the ground. “Have at it, pal.”
As Disco ate the hell out of the godforsaken gator, Rachel’s eyes zipped right back to the muddy bank, the swirls and patterns in the shoreline chronicling each detail of Liam’s battle on the way into the water. She swallowed down bile.
The cabin door creaked open. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Liam’s broad shoulders fill the void. Silently, he stepped over and sat on the bench next to her. The gauze on his arms snagged against her skin.
She blinked back tears.
He reached toward her and she instinctively leaned into him. He tapped a mosquito off her arm, then caught it in his fist.
Straightening again, she scratched her arm where the insect had been. “Thanks.”
“No. Thank you.”
“There’s nothing to thank me for. I did what had to be done.” She stared down at her feet beside Disco licking the plate clean. “Why were you pulling away from me back at the dock?”
“Before the gator tried to eat me?”
She looked sideways at him. “Not funny.”
“Yeah it is.” He grinned. Sort of.
She touched his arm lightly, beside one of the bandages covering a shrapnel wound. “You’ve been putting distance between us all morning, and I don’t understand.”
He covered her hand with his, his green eyes getting the pale hazel streaks that came when he was emotional. Those streaks offered the only clue in a man who held himself so tightly in check, always in command. “I’m letting you go, Rachel, if that’s what you really want.”
She snapped upright, stunned, hurt, angry, overflowing with emotions after the nightmare of seeing him nearly mauled to death by a f**king alligator. “You’re dumping me?” Hysteria frothed inside her. After the morning she’d been through, she was due a meltdown. “I thought you married your women before you dumped them.”
“Not funny and not fair.”
“No damn kidding.” She gasped for air. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Undaunted, he calmly took her hands in his as they sat side by side on the bench. “You’re an incredible woman. The work you’ve done with the therapy dogs is amazing. You’ve helped spread that gift and it’s clear the momentum will keep on rolling.”
“I hope so.” Except what did that have to do with breaking up with her?
“But you also have to know what you’re really meant to do, you and Disco.”
“Whoa! Stop right there.” She yanked her hands out of his, recognizing his hand-holding now for what it was—a pacifying gesture, his way of being the man in control, doling out comfort. “I’ve already told you why I stepped out of the field. And if we’re playing fair here, I’ve gotta call foul on your using that against me now. If you’ve suddenly decided you’re in over your head with this relationship, then man up and say so. But don’t you dare make excuses.”
Frustration flecked his eyes. “You’re not hearing me. You may have needed a break, but when you’re working a rescue mission—when you’re shooting an alligator between the eyes—you are magnificent.”
“I’m so magnificent that you’re dumping me?” She wanted to kick his butt back into the water. Instead she continued to wade through the convoluted path of his reasoning, because she cared about him. She loved him, damn it, and now he was trying to leave her too. “And about me going back to search and rescue work. What does that have to do with the two of us as a couple?”
“I’m retiring.”
“Yeah, that’s what I hear,” she said, gripped the edge of the bench until splinters dug into her palms. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“We’re taking different paths now. I’m stepping off the adrenaline junkie treadmill.”
His placating—bullshit—tender expression made her want to scream. She should have seen this coming. Six months ago, she’d predicted something just like this happening, so she’d stayed well away from Liam McCabe even when her body and heart screamed go for it.
“You know what, Liam? You are making up excuses to walk away.” She shot to her feet, unable to sit there any longer while he played out this letting-her-down-easy farce. “You may be a badass out there on the job, but when it comes to falling in love you’re scared to death. Maybe it goes back to losing your mom or the divorces or combat stress. But it’s time for you to let yourself be happy.”
“Rachel, listen to me.” He stood, clasping her shoulders, slipping back into his protector mode as surely as if he’d put on his uniform. “I just want to be fair to you. I want you to be happy—”
“No. You want to play this safe, which is a long way from anyone being happy. No risk, no glory, pal.” She jabbed his chest, hard. “You love me, Liam McCabe. You really love me, not the halfway measures of picking the wrong woman. I am the best thing to happen to you, and you are making the biggest mistake of your life in being too afraid to admit it.”