“Yes, it is,” she said, her breath catching as the smile slid off her face. “I feel happy and sad at the same time.”
He cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing under her eye, but there were no tears. “I know, baby. Perfectly reasonable. I’m so sorry your mom is in such bad shape.”
“I think I’m going to lose her, Mav. I feel it.”
“Don’t say that. The doctors don’t know anything for sure yet,” he said, even though none of the doctors sounded any more hopeful or positive about it than they’d been the night before. Mrs. H had just been in that smoke for so long. “And if the worst happens . . .” He swallowed around a lump. A lump caused by the fact that the first time he’d lost Alexa, it was because she’d lost her brother. What would losing her mother do? “We’ll handle it together.”
She nodded.
“Promise me,” he said.
“Of course we will.” She tilted her head. “What’s the matter? You look upset.”
“It’s fucking selfish, given what we’re talking about.” But that didn’t keep him from feeling the anxiety. Christ, he didn’t want to have found her again just to lose her so quickly once more.
“We can say anything to each other. Remember?” She rested her bandaged hands against his chest.
“If the worst happens, Alexa, you have to promise to let me help you through it this time. Please.” His heart thundered against his breastbone, the heavy beat from a mix of need and fear and worry.
Her breath caught. “Oh. Oh, God, Maverick. You’re worried because my grief over Tyler drove me away from you before?” He nodded, a knot lodged in his throat. “I promise. I won’t do that again. I’m not that girl anymore. And I’ve learned so damn much about what love is, and what it isn’t.”
Relief crashed over him so hard he shuddered. “Like what?”
Her expression went soft and thoughtful. “Love . . . love is the only thing that doesn’t hurt. So many people are afraid of it. I think I was five years ago. Afraid that loving you would hurt me, one way or the other. But love doesn’t hurt. Abuse hurts, and loneliness hurts, and jealousy hurts, and lies hurt. But love? Love heals. Love puts back together things that were broken before. Which is what you’ve done for me. So promising you, that’s easy. I don’t want to be anywhere else but with you. No matter what.”
Damn if those words didn’t resonate all the way to the bottom of his soul, and make him want things he never thought he’d have. Want them right fucking now.
He leaned his forehead against hers. “Marry me.” The words almost took him by surprise, but they felt more right than maybe anything he’d ever said. Well, besides that he loved her. “It doesn’t have to be right away, but marry me. Say you’ll be mine. That we’ll ride through this life together, you and me against the world, just like we said. Say you’ll let me take care of you and that you’ll take care of me, too. Laugh with me and joke with me and fight with me and share your weird cat with me, and marry me, Alexa.”
Tears made her eyes go glassy, but her smile was like the sun coming out after a storm. Bright and hopeful. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Maverick. You are my strength and my home and my truth. Nothing would make me happier than being yours.”
“Forever,” he said, triumph making his blood sing.
“Forever,” she whispered, the first tears slipping free of her pretty eyes.
He kissed her then, a soft pressing promise of lips on lips, and he managed to pull her into his arms. “I didn’t exactly plan this today, and I know I need to get you a ring—”
“I don’t care about a ring, Mav. I mean, I want to wear your ring, whatever it is, but your heart’s the only thing I need.” She kissed him again.
“Well, you have that. Because you are my friend and my love and the life I always wanted, Al. My everything.” And, damn if that didn’t give him an idea for a tattoo. Which made him think of the black-and-purple tribal raven with the red heart at its center. Seeing it on her skin someday was going to bring him to his knees. He already knew that was true.
“Oh, that’s perfect, Maverick. Because you’re my everything, too.”
EPILOGUE
Welcome home, Al,” Maverick said, the next afternoon. He had his arm around her shoulders, supporting her weight and helping her across the threshold to his little lake house. They’d been released from the hospital an hour before, but had bowed out of the Saturday afternoon cookout being planned at the Ravens’ clubhouse before the final night of the carnival began. Alexa’s chest still hurt if she undertook much activity, so that was all more than she was up to just yet.