“It’s proven to come in handy,” she said.
Maverick nodded and rose, and Alexa couldn’t help but stare at his Ravens tattoo as he crossed the room. Why didn’t the sight of it rattle her like it once had? “I’ll grab some coffee and a quick shower, then we can go. Your clothes from last night should be dry if you want to change.” He left, then quickly peered back into the room. “And I like it when you call me master.” He winked and left before she could throw something at him.
Her grin faded as her thoughts got all tangled up in the past. After losing Tyler, Alexa had thought she’d learned everything she could know about being scared. She’d been scared of how she’d manage to take care of her mother by herself. She’d been scared of how her mother would handle Ty’s death, and then of how her mom had fallen apart and gotten sicker. She’d been scared that she’d never get the life she’d always dreamed of having. And she’d been scared of what would happen—and how it would feel—if she lost Maverick the same way, too.
Now she knew there was a lot about fear she hadn’t known.
She’d learned that living your life guided by fear meant that a scary amount of your life passed you by while you weren’t doing the things or being with the people you most wanted. She’d learned that there was more than one kind of loss. Death was the most catastrophic, obviously. But losing your friends and your independence and your faith in your own judgment were pretty damn scary, too. And she’d learned that sometimes playing it safe was its own kind of loss—representing wasted chances, unrecognized opportunities, and unrealized possibility.
Maybe . . . maybe things crashing and burning with Grant didn’t represent so much of a loss as an opportunity?
From the direction of Maverick’s bedroom, the hum of the shower water sounded out, and her mind couldn’t help but conjure up a series of old, secret images. The water sluicing over all Maverick’s hard edges and ink. Him taking her against the tile wall. Her on her knees on the shower floor, his cock in her hands, her mouth. A shiver raced through her.
Maybe losing the life she thought she was going to have with Grant could give her a second chance with . . . other things?
Lucy curled around Alexa’s ankles and let out a pleading meow. On a sigh, Alexa bent down to give the sphynx some love. “Don’t worry, Luce. Everything’s going to be all right. We’ll figure it all out. I promise.”
Though Alexa didn’t know who she was trying to reassure most.
“WANT ME TO come in with you?” Maverick asked from the driver’s seat of his truck.
Alexa looked out the window to the sleek glass building that housed Slater Enterprises. Would going inside feel as strange as going home had felt? Maverick had let her into her house so she could shower and change, and the first thing that had dropped a ball of nerves into her gut was that her ring hadn’t been hanging on the door knocker. Which meant Grant had seen it after all. Which left her wondering even more about what he’d said—and what he hadn’t said—when they’d spoken on the phone.
The second thing that had left her feeling uncertain was the question of whether she should take anything beyond Lucy’s nearly empty food and kitty litter and her own clothes, toiletries, and things for school. She didn’t even know whether to take her car. Maverick convinced her that she should, and he had a new guy who was joining the Ravens drive someone over who could take it back to Mav’s house. Otherwise, she’d only taken what was definitely hers.
And Mav made sure she had all of it so she didn’t have to come back. He’d personally carted loads of hanging clothes and suitcases full of personal items out to his truck himself until the other Ravens showed up to help.
The third thing that had felt so weird about returning was how much she didn’t feel like she belonged there. It was almost like poking around a stranger’s house, her nerves telling her she was going to get caught at any moment. She could almost imagine it’d been months since she’d last been there—years, even. It was more than a little surreal.
Finally, Alexa shook her head, her eyes still glued to the Slater Enterprises building. Wondering. Worrying. Debating. But she had to do this. She had to be strong. It was time. “No. It’ll be okay. If I get worried, I’ll call you to come get me.”
“Look at me,” Maverick said. Alexa’s gaze cut to him. “Promise me.” He arched a brow over dark blue eyes filled with fierce concern, his expression so serious it emphasized all the hard angles of his face. It made him beautiful to her, although he’d probably think that was a ridiculous thing to think about him. But how could she find his protectiveness, concern, and support anything but beautiful? She knew too well what the opposite looked like.