But that wasn’t who they were anymore, was it?
And he was working on accepting that once and for all.
But not today.
THIS WAS PROBABLY a big mistake. Huge. Gargantuan, even. But that didn’t keep Alexa from getting on the back of Maverick’s bike and holding him tight.
One last time . . .
And it was just a ride. For old time’s sake. For fun, something she hadn’t prioritized in so long. And for her mom. Couldn’t forget that, either.
So, yeah. It was just a ride.
A shiver ran through her that had nothing to do with the air rushing over her skin. It was Maverick. His heat, his muscles, his long hair that she’d always loved running her hands through. It was his rough masculinity and his daredevil attitude and his fierce loyalty.
It was Maverick that had her body getting hot and feeling needy. She found even the leather Raven Riders’ patch on the back of his cut alluring, which made no sense since it was his membership in the club that had been one of her rationales for pushing Maverick away. But holding him as she was, all she could think about was how that same image was tattooed on his broad back. Watching the raven perched on a dagger move as his naked body did had always attracted her to him, even if everything the tattoo represented had sorta scared her.
Alexa closed her eyes and heaved a deep breath. Why was she torturing herself like this? She’d made her choice. Her future was set. Her future was Grant.
This? This was just a ride with someone she used to know.
Alexa groaned to herself. She might not want to admit the truth out loud, but it wasn’t like she could hide from herself. And if she was being honest, she hadn’t accepted the ride just to get a break from hanging out with her mother, although that had been part of it. She’d also wanted to ride with Maverick. Deep down, a part of her hadn’t wanted to spend the minutes apart that it would take for him to get his truck and return. Because she wouldn’t have many more—if any—opportunities like this again, not with her wedding just two weeks away. Now, experiencing all these feelings welling up inside her, it made her remember something she hadn’t thought of in a really long time.
Being with Maverick . . . just made her want to be with him even more. It had always been like that between them.
Which was one of the reasons, five years before, that she’d broken things off with him cold turkey. No friendship, even though they’d started out as friends. No hanging out casually or with groups of mutual friends, even though they’d done that all the time before they ever started dating. No asking for his help with her mom, even though he’d done it so many times and she could’ve used the help after Tyler died. She’d just been overwhelmed with grief and anger and responsibility, and it had been too hard for her to be around Maverick and not want him. Even if she’d been convinced he couldn’t give her everything she and her mother needed.
It hadn’t been easy. In fact, it’d hurt almost as much as Tyler’s death had. And that’d made her feel maybe more guilty than she ever had in her life.
And then Grant had stepped in, offering her kindness and support and help. Even as Maverick made a few last attempts to bridge the gap between them.
At first, staying away from Maverick had been her idea—all self-preservation. So it hadn’t mattered when Grant had made it clear early in their relationship that he didn’t want Alexa seeing Mav—or any of the Ravens, really—anymore. In her grief for her brother, she was already avoiding Maverick. In her need to focus on taking care of her shattered mother, she’d already cut him off. So honoring Grant’s preference had been easy because it went along with her own intentions. Either way, it’d been a long time since she’d spent any time with Maverick like this.
And staying away from him had worked. It had made it easier to avoid feeling what she most desired where Maverick was concerned. Which was him. Had always been him. Since she’d been a girl who was way too damn young to be crushing on a teenager, and then a man, who was four years older than her. A man whose lifestyle had scared her on so many levels and made her choose what seemed like the more rational—safer—choice.
Grant Slater.
But now . . .
Today was the third day in a little over a week that Alexa had seen Maverick. And damn if that desire wasn’t still there. Even after all this time.
And that was a total sucker punch because she’d convinced herself a long damn time ago that she was totally and completely over this man. Emotionally. Physically. In every way.