“I don’t care what you do,” I lie. “Fuck your way through New York City if you feel like it. That’s your prerogative.”
“So proud.” He leans forward and trails light kisses along my lower stomach. “So fucking proud. You ever get tired of standing on that pedestal you created, Hazel? Of being unfuckingtouchable?”
“No.” Another lie.
“Liar.” This time, it sounds like a challenge. “You think I won’t drag you off the damn thing and down with the rest of us? Silly girl. It’s long past time for someone to put you in your place.”
I recognize that Devan is moving us back to safer territory, but part of me wants to dig in my heels out of spite. The thought of him with others stings, a slashing cut that I didn’t even feel at first, but now consumes me. “Pull me down from my pedestal, put me in my place, and then move on to the next princess to tarnish.”
Devan narrows his eyes. “You’re hung up on the thought of me with someone else. Something you want to say, Hazel? Stop choking on it and spit it out.” When I don’t immediately respond, he releases me and drapes his arms over the back of the chair. “What do you care if I grab a pretty partner or two and fuck away every memory of you after this? You have a use for me, but it’s temporary. You’ve been damned clear about that.”
“I—”
“You get this cock tonight.” He palms himself through his jeans. “You want to renegotiate, that’s a different conversation.”
Of course I want to renegotiate. One night was never going to be enough, two nights certainly isn’t. Devan and I have shown each other our sharp edges; have realized that, at least where fucking is concerned, those edges come together to create a puzzle that I could spend years exploring. We fit.
But that might be all in my head.
Poor little rich girl, throwing herself at the one person in her life who’s been entirely consistent, if distant. That distance is almost an asset. It sets me up to throw myself against him safely without actual consequences. Or it did, until last night. Until I crossed every line with him. Until he reached into my chest and touched me in places no one else has.
That’s the problem.
More sex won’t change anything. It will probably make this feeling worse. Renegotiating just means falling harder for Devan while we fuck over a prolonged period of time, and if two days is enough to mess me up like this, I don’t know if I’ll survive longer. It will hurt too much.
“I don’t want to renegotiate,” I manage.
I must be imagining the disappointment that flickers over his face. He shrugs. “Then my question stands—what do you care?”
“I don’t.”
Devan tenses and then seems to make himself relax. “Lie to yourself if you want to, Hazel, but don’t lie to me. You don’t like the thought of me fucking others.” He moves quickly, snaking an arm around my waist and pulling me down to straddle his lap. “Just like it makes me fucking feral to think about you with other people.”
I don’t mean to sink my hands into his hair. I sure as hell don’t mean to tug sharply on it. “Not too long ago, you were saying you don’t mind sharing.”
“I don’t.” Devan’s not passive. His body is all coiled strength waiting to spring into motion, but he allows me to tilt his head back so I can meet his gaze. The possessive look there scalds me. He tightens his grip on my hips and jerks me closer, pinning our hips together. “Sharing means you’re mine, Hazel. It means that pussy belongs to me, and if you want a threesome or an orgy or whatever the fuck you can dream up, that’s something I’m giving to you. It doesn’t matter if it’s not my hands, cock, mouth that’s delivering it. It’s still at my will. You’re a smart girl. You understand the difference.”
I do.
I don’t have a clever answer to that, though, so I kiss him. It’s a fierce meeting of mouths, almost a battle. Devan kisses me like he knows I’m keeping things locked up tight and he’s sure he can steal the words right off my tongue.
Suddenly I’m all to happy to give him words. Not all of them. But ones I most certainly shouldn’t voice. I break the kiss and grab the hem of his shirt. He allows me to pull it over his head, but when I see his face again, it’s all challenge. “You have something to say, birthday girl?”
Even as I tell myself to play it cool, to not give him more than I already have, I grab his hand and guide him to press it to the apex of my thighs. “Have fun with your little friends, Devan. Do you claim their pussies and cocks the way you claim me?”