For a good hour, me, Pri, and Rafael sit at a table, talking and eating, while Savage and Lucifer hit the bar next door. Adam and Jacob, who have become Raf’s personal guard until the Deleon threat passes, hang out in the diner with us, but at their own table. Eventually, we all go next door, and Raf and I end up at a pool table. “Like old times,” he says. “A perfect way to start a new year.”
“Amen to that, brother,” I say, tilting back my beer, aware of Pri nearby.
She’s at a table with Savage and Lucifer, laughing, and I know intentionally giving me space with Raf. I love that woman. I love the hell out of her like I didn’t know I could love. And for a while I just let me and Raf be brothers, and it’s good, so good I’m not sure I want to ruin it by talking about Alex.
We eventually head outside for some air, sitting on a concrete wall that frames the bar, and staring up at the clear night sky. “I miss you, man,” Raf says, glancing over at me. “I miss Mom and Dad. Sometimes I even miss Alex, but the Alex who pretended to be like us, you know?” He glances over at me. “He died a hero, right? That’s how he left this world.”
“Do you want him to be a hero, Raf, or do you want to know the truth? Your choice.”
“The truth. I want nothing but the truth between you and me, Adrian. We’re all we got left.”
I look skyward, drawing in a breath. “You know we both went under in the Devil’s biker gang. What you don’t know is that we both thought they were connected to Mom and Dad’s deaths.”
“Were they? Are they?”
“We never proved it. I don’t know. We may never know. But Alex—I knew that life was trouble for him and I was right. It was like a drug. The women. The drugs. The violence.”
“He had it in him,” Raf says. “He always did. It never made sense. He wasn’t like us.”
“No, he wasn’t. I killed him, Raf. He was attacking a woman. I tried to stop him. He killed her and drew on me. It was me or him. I know that, but it haunts me. You have no fucking idea.”
“Is this where I’m supposed to freak the fuck out and ask you how you dared do such a thing?” he asks. “Because that’s not happening. I know who he was. I saw him. More than you, I think. He didn’t hide shit from me because I was so young. I think he didn’t see me as a threat. The right man lived, Adrian. The right man lived.”
Relief washes over me, but the guilt is still there in my gut, eating me alive. “I know, and yet, I don’t know.”
“You need to know. And I can see you love Pri. It’s in your eyes. Let her help. I like her. Marry her. I like that idea. Do you like that idea?”
“I’m fucking in love with that idea,” I say. “But Deleon is still out there. I need to clean this up before I marry her.”
At that moment, Pri and Savage exit the bar. “What’s up?” Savage wails. “What’s up?!”
“Your booze intake,” I say dryly. “Or you wouldn’t be so loud.”
“I’m always loud,” he says. “Well, unless I’m about to kill someone. Then I walk like a little bitty church mouse.” He uses his fingers to show the walking. “Little bitty and oh so quiet.” He’s whispering. And now he’s laughing. “I need to call my baby. I should have brought her. All is well here. She loves Rafael.” He points at Raf. “Not like me, but she loves you, man.”
Rafael is laughing while Pri gives us an apologetic look. “Sorry, guys,” she says. “The bathroom is stopped up. I need to go to the restaurant and use that one, but turns out, that even drunk, Savage is protective. He won’t let me go alone.”
“You can use the one on the bus,” Raf says. “I’ll walk you. I want to grab a photo to show Adrian.” He snags keys from his pocket and motions Pri forward.
She kisses me. “Okay?”
“Of course, baby. Raf’s bus is fancy as fuck.”
“I mean you,” she says softly. “Are you okay?”
She’s worried about me. I don’t have to let that sink in. I drink that shit up. I need it. I need the hell out of this woman “Never better,” I promise. “I’ll tell you everything later.”
She smiles a tiny smile meant only for me and then turns away, motioning to my brother. Her and Raf start walking toward the bus. I watch them, and it’s a magic moment, something shifting inside me, some of the darkness fading away. Family. This is my family.