“Hi, Luke,” I say, “You look like your brothers,” I say, having spent plenty of time with Blake, and having met Royce on video chat when he and Lauren were in Chicago trying to get the warrant for Adrian’s arrest dropped.
“So I hear,” he says. “But I’m the reasonable one. And the nice one. Which is why I’m going to get you to a bed without delay or challenge.” He glances at his watch. “It’s after midnight. We can all get together and talk about Waters tomorrow.”
He settles back in his seat and sets us in motion. Adrian scoots closer to me and his hand comes down on my knee, branding me, and he holds me close. He’s not even pretending we broke up or we’re stepping away from each other. I try to think back to what happened on the plane and the truth is he never said that’s what he wanted. He just said that loving him was a mistake. And I’m pretty sure him worrying about me to the point he puts himself at risk is a mistake.
We turn onto the main road and it hits me that this is where Adrian lives. Am I going to his apartment? Will I see his home? Or not. Nerves erupt in my belly. As far as I’m concerned, our destination tells me where his head is right now.
A few minutes later, I find out my answer. We pull up to the Ritz Carlton Hotel.
I’m not going to Adrian’s apartment. I’m not going to his home. Of course, there could be other reasons for this decision, but right now, there’s no question the hotel location stings.
There’s also a ball in my chest, a tight ball, but I tell myself this is for the best. The only man in my life right now needs to be Waters, and I have to find a way to shut him down, really shut him down. The vehicle halts and Luke exits the vehicle. Adrian opens his door and exits as well, leaning in to tell me, “Hold tight a moment.”
He doesn’t wait for a reply. He shuts me back inside and I’m suddenly suffocating in the heat blowing from the vents. I shut one and the door opens again, blasting me with cold air. Adrian, now wearing another jacket, which I assume is meant to cover up the weapon at his side, offers me his hand and just the idea of touching him right now turns me hot all over again. I tug Adrian’s jacket around me and slide out of the back seat, and the minute I’m outside, I’m aware of Savage and Adam’s presence. Adrian pulls me under his arm and walks me toward the lobby, sheltering me—he’s always sheltering me, no matter what the cost. And there is a cost. Maybe he doesn’t love me but this man could have died for me tonight.
I’m not good for him. He gets that. I know he does.
We both know. And it’s time for us both to do what is right. And what is right is me stepping back from Adrian. He can’t risk his life for me and he will if we don’t cut out the personal. That realization alone makes the hotel suddenly the right choice. He has to live. Nothing else matters. And yet I don’t pull away from Adrian. God, the idea of not touching him, not being with him, affects me like nothing else has. Yes, it hurt when Logan cheated, but I’ve long ago decided that was about the entire façade of my life falling apart. Not him. Not me with him.
Savage and Adam fall into place at either side of us and somehow these men feel like my family too, when my own family does not. And yet, they aren’t my family, I remind myself. Still how insane is it that I believe that any one of these men would come through for me in ways my family would not. A realization that is both good and painful. There’s been a lot happening these past few days. I’m not sure how I feel about any of it.
Once we’re on the elevator, the four of us, Adam punches our floor, and the doors shut. Adrian tugs me in front of him, my back to his front, his hand possessively at my waist as if he thinks I’ll escape. I don’t want to escape. I want us to be two normal people that can be together. No. Normal is overrated. I don’t want to be normal. I want to win against Waters.
For now, that lack of control Waters has delivered unto us has me ticking off the floors, wanting out of this small car. No, I’m not exactly claustrophobic right now, and elevators don’t seem to be triggers, but I’m suffocating in everything, just everything, right now. I need air. I need space.