Or maybe that's the whiskey as it flows through my veins. Holding the bottle up, I swirl the liquor in the glass, watching the amber change colors from the red and orange of the flames.
Taking a long swig, I hiss under my breath. My body buzzes from the alcohol, but it's doing nothing to stop me from thinking about Melody. She's been burned into my fucking heart like a brand that can’t be erased.
Squeezing the bottle tightly between my fingers, I press it to my lips, and swallow as much as my throat can handle at one time.
Fuck, why won't this banish her from my fucking mind?
I set the bottle on my thigh, tap the rim as I stare into the long tendrils of the fire. I want her gone. I want to forget her completely. I want to go back in time and never have taken a hike that day.
Things would be so much easier if I never crossed paths with her in the first place. I wouldn't hurt like this. My heart would be whole, and my gut wouldn't feel so damn empty.
Shaking my head, I look down at the whiskey. It's almost gone, an entire bottle down to a few more sips. Holding the bottle by the neck, I rock it back and forth.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, close my eyes, and hang my head. Everything in my life was already a fucking mess and now it's even worse. She turned my entire world on its head, and for what? For this pain?
I should have never gotten involved with her.
I hear twigs breaking under someone’s feet, and I open my eyes and look up. A hazy figure emerges from the darkness. Closing my eyes again, I blink them a few times, only to see her.
Melody?
It can't be. I must be very drunk.
“Branson James, I want answers.”
I'm not imagining this, she's really here. Leaning forward, I hold the bottle between my legs and just peer up at her. I can't get my thoughts together. I'm a mix of shock and happiness that she's even here after how I treated her earlier.
Pointing a finger directly at me, her mouth folds into a heavy frown. “And I'm not leaving until you tell me the truth.” Her eyes turn razor sharp as her tone hardens. “I deserve to know why. Tell me why you're doing this?”
Raking an open hand over my head, I sigh loudly. “Mel—”
“Don't Mel me. I'm not looking for some dumb-ass excuse of it's not you, it's me, and all that bullshit.” Her hand moves through the air, cutting and slicing it apart. “Tell me the truth, the real reason you want to end this.”
“There's nothing to say.” Downing the last little bit of whiskey, I toss the bottle into the fire and lean back.
Her eyes narrow as her mouth twists up angrily. “I know about the bar. I know my brother told you to stay away from me.” My eyes jump up to hers as she keeps talking. “If you're walking away because of him, then maybe this isn't worth it. Because I don't give two shits about what he thinks or what he said. It doesn't matter. My parents were just about the same difference as us, so age isn't the issue. Is that why? Did he scare you off?”
Hanging my head, I lay my hands over the back of my skull and cover my face.
How do I explain this?
“Well? Say something!” she yells.
Grunting loudly, I snap my head up and stare at her.
There's so much anger in her eyes, but despite how much she hates me right now, she looks so beautiful in the light of the fire. Her skin is glowing as the flames move across her skin like waves.
Her chest is rising and falling rapidly as her fingers wiggle back and forth by her side and her jaw crooks. A cool breeze blows, causing sexy little goosebumps to erupt down her arms and her nipples to peak under her shirt.
My chest tightens as every muscle in my body crackles with electricity. But I still stay silent. I'm mute, unable to get out any of the thoughts running through my head.
“Nothing to say? Nothing at all?” Crossing her arms protectively, she tilts her head. “Fine, then sit there like a damn stump and just listen. If it was my brother, then you're too weak to handle me anyway. But if it's something else, if it has to do with me wanting a family in the future, then I'm gone for good. I will walk away, and you'll never see me again because that is something I absolutely will not give up.”
I need her.
Launching out of my chair, I scoop her face in my hands and kiss her. Instead of telling her how I feel and what I want, I show her.