The music picks up, and the floor starts to fill with other guests. Mark slips his hand free from my back, and I hate how cold I feel as he backs away. But he doesn't let me go. He holds my hand, pulling me off to the side.
“Everyone! Can I get your attention?” Ryder yells.
We all turn to look. Ryder is standing on a chair with Jenna at his side. Her eyes are puffy and red like she's been crying, and for a brief moment my heart stops.
What's going on? Is she okay?
The room goes quiet as his eyes drop to Jenna. “We have an announcement to make. Babe, do you want to tell them?” he asks her.
Jenna turns her attention from Ryder to all the guests. “We're pregnant!” she yells, her eyes welling up again.
Pregnant. . .
My stomach sinks as I force a smile. I know I should be happy for them, and I am. I just can't ignore the sadness I feel inside. Jenna is doing exactly what she wants to do. She's happy. She has a husband and now a baby on the way.
What about me? Where's my happily ever after?
“Hey,” Mark says, shaking my hand to get my attention. “You want to get out of here?” His eyes search mine, studying me, trying to read my mind. “We can go someplace else for a bit. Get away from all this.”
It's like he can read my mind, as if he senses the sadness and anger and frustration that's bubbling inside me.
“Please,” I answer sharply.
Braiding his fingers through mine, he pulls me to the back of the barn and leads me out a door. “Why let this night drown us? We can make the best of it together, can't we? No strings attached, just a little fun. What do you think?”
“I think that sounds really great.”
It's only one night. I'll be gone tomorrow. What harm could come from a one night stand with him?
People do it all the time. They meet someone, they hook up, and then they never see them again. This is no different.
Besides the fact, he's Jenna's husband's best friend. . .
Am I drunk? Yes. But even if I weren’t, I know I'd still say yes. It wouldn't matter where I am. I could never turn away a man like this.
He can help me replace all the emotions I'm feeling with a happy memory. A memory that will last. A memory I can look back on when I remember Jenna's wedding.
Is this selfish? Am I being a terrible friend?
It doesn't matter. All Jenna is going to remember is Ryder. I'm not taking anything away from her today. I'm just giving myself a little bonus gift.
Time to unwrap my present.
3
Mark
“Are you okay to drive?” she asks.
“Yeah, I'm fine. A glass of wine isn't going to do anything to me. Plus. . .” Pulling a couple bottles out from behind my back, I dangle them in the air. “I'm taking these with us. We can have a party of our own. I did say I'd get drunk with you.”
Climbing into my front seat, she places her hands delicately in her lap. I'm about to close the door when she reaches out and stops it from shutting. “Wait, do you think they'll be mad we left?”
“No, I doubt it. Why would they be mad?”
“Because we're leaving together. Because it's their wedding and you're Ryder's best friend. Aren't you supposed to do a toast or something?”
“Nah, he isn't into all that traditional stuff. The rest of the night is just going to be one big party. I don't even think they'll notice either of us are gone. They'll be too busy talking to everyone else about the new baby coming now.”
“Right, the new baby. . .” Her voice thins to a whisper as she looks off into the distance. Her fingers wrap around the handle and she pulls the door closed.
I'm not sure if it's anger or jealousy that I hear in her voice. I just know it's something.
Climbing into the front seat, I set the wine on the floor behind me. She's quiet. Her eyes look forward, and her hands are fumbling in her lap.
Maybe this isn't what she wants.
There's no way I can leave with her if she's questioning what we're doing. I won't put her in a position to regret whatever happens. Either she wants this, or she doesn't. If there's even a question in her mind about what she's doing, then we're not going anywhere.
I won't become someone else's regret.
“Look, we don't have to leave if you don't—”
“No, let’s go. Let’s get out of here.” Turning to look at me, there's no questions in her eyes now. She wants this. She needs this. And I'm happy to give it to her.
Starting the truck, I back out of the spot and turn onto the road. She's looking out the window into nothing but darkness.