“Don’t worry, I’ll help you unpack and sort whatever you need out. I don’t think my brother’s working either, and I might be able to get DB and Ellis to come.”
The sheriff for our town was called DB by the men, Dave or David by the women. He was also married to a tornado named Tabitha, who had the coolest pink hair I’d ever seen in my life. Ellis was his best friend and the local tattoo artist and was married to her half-sister, Jose.
They were all such a close-knit bunch that the women would also come if he called the men to help.
That meant they’d find out about my injuries and ask how it happened if they didn’t already know about it—which was unlikely. On the off chance that they didn’t, though, asking about them would inevitably lead to Rose or Garrett's indication that something else had happened, which would end up with my actions from last night being coaxed out of them.
Unfortunately, during my musings and rising panic, Garrett had already sent out a message to someone because he dropped his phone onto the bed between us and rubbed his hands together.
“There. I’ll make coffee while we wait to see who’s available.”
I would later find out that he’d sent a group message to all of them the night before and that it was already planned. What’d he’d sent this morning was:
She’s awake and sober. We’ll be there in an hour.
I wasn’t aware of this until two hours later, after I’d given in and taken some painkillers—ones that wouldn’t make me loopy.
But I was right about some of it because his phone lit up, and a stream of messages came through from all of them.
Including the women.
Chapter Four
Zuri
After an hour of seeing Rose, Garrett, and Raul—who’d definitely been filled in on what I’d done judging by the lip twitching that’d been going on since I opened my door—struggle not to tell the group around us, I’d snapped, “Just do it.”
So the whole house knew now, and I was even more embarrassed, seeing as how Garrett hadn’t told me about ninety percent of what I’d done. The shithead.
“She was screeching the music to Pony while he was sitting there getting sewn up with his top off,” Rose wheezed, holding her pregnant stomach while she laughed.
“Is that the song from Magic Mike?” Jose asked, her eyes glittering with the tears from how hard she’d laughed.
Basically, I was surrounded by unsympathetic assholes because the men weren’t much better—sans pregnancies, obviously.
Nodding, Rose continued, “She went through three boxes of tissues, throwing handfuls into the air and yelling to ‘make it rain, baby. Make it rain.’”
I repeat—my life was the worst.
“Why was she singing All The Small Things, though?” Tabby asked as she flattened one of the boxes in the kitchen. “It’s a great song and all, but it’s kind of random.”
Glaring at me from where he was moving a shelving unit into place with his brother, Garrett growled, “She kept looking at my dick while she did it.”
All of the women stopped what they were doing and looked at each other, then down at his crotch disappointedly.
“That’s such a shame,” Jose mumbled, shaking her head.
Tabby looked genuinely distraught as she nodded in agreement with her sister. “Life just isn’t fair.”
However, Katy, who was still grieving the recent loss of her grandmother, said her comment loud enough for anyone walking past to hear, seeing as how the front door was still open. “Never expected that. I thought it would be called Gigantor or something grrr that indicated how big it was. Knowing Garrett’s got one of those snack size bananas instead of the—” whatever else she was going to say was stopped by her boyfriend, Jarrod, as he covered her mouth with his huge hand.
Yeah, nothing about him would be small. Thank you to whoever was in charge of his creation the day his parents did the nasty.
I don’t know if what I was thinking was visible on my face or if Katy just had superpowers, but when I looked back at her, she winked and nodded her head as much as she could with his hand still over the bottom half of it.
Lucky hooker!
Stepping away from the shelving unit, Garrett put his hands on his hips and snapped, “I refuse to defend the size of my dick when she hasn’t even seen it. This isn’t high school where we measure it and compare to make a point.”
Well, wasn’t that interesting.
Curious minds needed to know now. And by curious minds, I meant all of the women, including Katy’s sister Aura, who walked through the door just as he said it.
“Hold the fuck on,” she snickered, holding her hand in the air. “I got told I was needed to help this cutie”—she nodded in my direction—“unpack. Now I have to know if that’s what y’all did in high school.” She paused and then added, “And who had the biggest, and is he still single? Please and thank you.”