The tension that had been building in my chest loosened and my shoulders sagged slightly with release. I hardly knew anything about the Greek before me, but that wasn’t saying much, I hardly knew anything about the Frenchman I was sleeping with. Had been sleeping with. But Stefan was kind and pleasantly vain, I knew that he would offer me insight over judgment and probably take genuine amusement from my situation.
“I’m having a holiday affair.”
He nodded and sat back in his chair, his posture straight but regal, like a king lounging on his throne. “How exciting.”
“Yes.” I nodded, pretending to be someone confident, experienced, someone more like my sister than me but I could tell by the shrewd brightness in his eyes that Stefan didn’t believe me. “It’s more complicated than I thought it would be.”
“Affairs always are,” he mused. “Is he married?”
My shoulders hunched near my ears as he hit the nail dangerously close to the head. “Long time partner.”
He frowned slightly and raised his glass but didn’t drink from it. “I see. But this isn’t something you normally do. Why now? Why him?”
And not me, his question seemed to imply. I knew that he was attracted to me but I also got the impression that he could have been attracted to anyone with good looks, be it a man or woman. Stefan had the kind of fluid sexuality that was both sexy and scary in a man. I wished I could be as free as him.
“Do I sound childish if I say it was a feeling a had?” When Stefan rolled his eyes in gentle mockery, I laughed. “Fine. Well, he was unbelievably handsome for starters. And I guess this sort of thing,” I waved my hand abstractly, “was the next step in my evolution from self-conscious frump to somewhat sophisticated woman.”
“From a duckling to a swan?”
I thought instantly of Sinclair, assuring me that the airplane was something beautiful and full of power – a swan. “I guess,” I murmured.
“How is it working out for you so far? I must say, you have a glow in your cheeks and if it weren’t for the tension in your shoulders, I would say you look remarkably well.”
“We don’t talk about anything specific, those are the rules. But he took me to a business party and out fishing today. I feel like I’m getting to know him in a way, but when we returned to the resort he was cold and dismissed me so easily.”
I remembered so clearly the feeling of shame as he left me at the entrance, another person disappointed in me.
Stefan was staring at me with narrowed eyes, his lips quirked down in concern. “I could hit him if you’d like?” When I laughed, he glared reproachfully at me. “You wouldn’t laugh if you knew how much I value my hands.”
I wiped a tear escaping from my eye and swallowed the giggles still hovering in my throat. “I’m sorry, Stefan, that was a very gallant offer. But I think I’ll pass.”
“What is it that you want to do then? Are you happy to let him dismiss you?” He leaned forward, his bared teeth glinting in the low light. His face had contracted and I could sense the sudden hostility in him. “Maybe you bored him in bed, Giselle, or maybe you shattered his expectations. Are you happy never to know? This is the problem with women, you know? They think men know everything, that we are unmoved by their charms. The truth, my French-Italian beauty, is that you bombard us with desires. And a woman like yourself should never be dismissed, even if the man in question is ‘unbelievably handsome’.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, if you aren’t ready to end your holiday affair, do not let it end. Go to him, seduce him all over again.” His eyes skimmed my form in frank admiration.
The idea of seducing Sinclair was deeply appealing. I could picture him before me, his dazzling blue eyes burning with desire, his head tipped back as he groaned at the feel of my mouth on him.
“There you are.” Stefan smiled at me, tipping his wine glass and at last taking a long sip. “Your gumption is back.”
I took a sip of wine to hide my coy smile. “Any ideas of how I should surprise him?”
Stefan grinned broadly and rubbed his hands together in glee. “Now we are getting to the good stuff.”
Hours later when the moon was swollen in the dark sky and all the diners had long since retired to their beds or downtown prospects, I stood at the door of Sinclair’s room with my fist closed and poised over the wood.
Despite Stefan’s pep talk over more than a few glasses of wine, my confidence was dissipating with each breath. Sinclair had dismissed me for a reason, I reminded myself. Who did I think I was just showing up at his room in the middle of the night? What kind of woman did that?
Me – a small but remarkably powerful voice in my head cried out – I do that! The kind of woman I wanted to be, had always dreamed of being, wouldn’t hesitate in taking what she wanted.
Besides, I had spent over half an hour in my room freshening up for seduction. I didn’t own any beautiful lingerie so I had opted to go nude beneath the thin white summer dress fluttering against my upper thighs and my hair was artfully mused by Stefan’s hands into something indefinably sexy. I remembered his words of encouragement and sucked in a final deep breath.
No one stirred within the room. I knocked again, with more force, and considered the very real possibility that Sinclair was still at work, or worse, that he was with someone else. I was surprised that I even cared. Of course, he could be. What claim did I have on him as a stranger who had known him for three days and knew nothing of his origins or even his last name?
With the last ounce of my courage, I knocked once more before turning on one of my highest heels to leave. I had only taken a few steps away when the sound of the door opening behind me prompted me to look over my shoulder.
Sinclair stood in the frame clad in a dismantled suit, his white shirt untucked and slightly wrinkled and his feet bare. The sight of those naked brown feet had me swallowing past a swell of unexpected desire but the instant I caught his eye, I almost choked on his expression. His beautiful blue eyes were bloodshot and his features carefully guarded as if I had come to trick him out of something precious. He didn’t say anything as he stared at me, his posture rigid but not hostile. I doubted my purpose for a second as he waited for me to speak but when his thick brows rose daringly, I straightened my spine and dug deep for some confidence.