It was too surreal.
I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the car even though they’d told me not to.
I didn’t have a reason to listen to anyone anymore, so I didn’t.
Instead, I walked under the yellow police tape, hugging the borrowed RCMP jacket around my shoulders, and watched up close as officers taped and categorized the guns in a massive open shipping container, how Mutt cursed at two officers who pushed him up against a car roughly before shoving him inside.
I looked down at the police lights flashing on my skin, smelled the brine from the ocean at my back and closed my eyes to hear the police chatter over the radio, the not too distant call of reporters showing up to get the scoop.
It sunk in.
I’d done it.
Somehow, against so many odds, I’d helped protect not only my family but the city of Vancouver and the entire province.
Berserkers MC was responsible for a third of the illegal guns in the city, for over twelve confirmed homicides and dozens of unsolved ones in the last year alone.
They were an evil I’d dug down into the dirt to dig up by the roots and weed out.
I closed my eyes, tipped my face up and tried not to cry.
“Harleigh Rose Garro.”
I opened my eyes and smiled slightly at Sergeant Renner.
He had his hand extended to me, a smile bigger than mine on his face.
I stared at his hand blankly then back at him.
The grin widened. “Like to thank you, Ms. Garro, for your invaluable help with the case. It’s the biggest seizure of illegal arms we’ve had to date, not to mention the fact that we have Berserkers MC tied up in that so tight, they’ll be going away for years.”
“It was Danner,” I told him truthfully, his name hot in my throat. “He did everything, really.”
“And he’ll be commended for that. For obvious reasons that I’m sure you understand, you will not. So, if you will, I’d like to shake your hand.”
A cop wanted to shake my hand.
I swallowed the strangeness, unsure if I was proud or horrified, and took his dry palm in my own.
“Thank you,” he repeated seriously, his dark eyes pinning me with the intent of his words so I couldn’t hide from it.
“Don’t sweat it,” I muttered.
And in the middle of a crime scene I wasn’t a felonious part of, I made a cop laugh.
I was home, ready for bed but snuggling in front of the TV with Hero watching Game of Thrones because it reminded me of Loulou, when there was a knock at my door.
Hero and I both perked up, looking at each other.
“Are you gonna get it, or me?” I asked him.
He woofed softly, and I laughed, giving him a gentle ear rub before I got up and walked to the peephole.
Farrah stood at my door, mascara darkened tears streaked down her face.
I chewed my lip.
She was a hideous person whose worst transgressions included plotting to see me raped by a biker.
She was also my mother.
And she’d done some terrible things, but I knew there was good in her because my father had loved her once, and on odd days at odd times in my childhood, she could be kind.
I dug my phone out of my pocket just in case and sent off a quick message to Renner.
Then I opened the door.
“What’re you doing here, Farrah?”
She sniffed loudly. “Are you really going to be so rude to your mother when I’m clearly distressed?”
I sighed heavily. “I’m only talking to you if you can explain why you were okay with letting Grease rape me.”
It was her time to sigh, as if I was a stupid kid again and she could never make me understand. She took my face in her hands even though I flinched, and her wet blue eyes the same as mine scoured over my face.
“You were such a beauty,” she whispered, suddenly morose. “I loved you so much. You were this precious little thing and I had no idea what to do with you, but I tried my best.”
“I never felt even a breath of that love,” I told her bluntly.
She bristled. “My mum died when I was four. Be grateful you even have a mother.”
“Be grateful I’m even talking to you now,” I snapped.
“Let’s start again,” she begged softly, grabbing at my hands to swing them softly between us. “I just want to be in your life. I have it right now. I can be better, and I don’t want to be alone.”
“You did that to yourself,” I told her, yanking my hands away. “You can’t just pick and choose when you want to have a family, Mum. You’ve had one all along and did nothing for them. Don’t expect me to want to be there for you now,” I said, starting to close the door as my phone rang.