But no matter how much I beg, no matter how much I plead to view it again, the crystal is gone, vanished from sight. I gaze all around, searching for someone to help, some sort of akashic record reference librarian, even though I'm the only one here. Dropping my head in my hands, wondering how I could've been so stupid as to allow my petty jealousies and insecurities to take over again.
I mean, it's not like I didn't know about Drina and Damen. It's not like I didn't know what I was going to see. And now, since I was too big of a wuss to just suck it up and deal with the info before me, I've no idea how to save him. No idea of how we possibly could've gone from such a wonderful A to such a horrible Z. All I know is that Roman's responsible. A pathetic confirmation of what I already guessed. Somehow he's weakening Damen, reversing his immortality. And if I've any hope of saving him, I need to learn how if not why.
Because one thing I know for sure is that Damen does not age. He's been around for over six hundred years and still looks like a teen. I drop my head in my hands, hating myself for being so petty, so small, so foolish—so heinously pathetic,that I robbed myself of the answers I came here to know. Wishing I could rewind this whole session and start over—wishing I could go back—
"You can't go back."
I turn, hearing Romy's voice sneak up from behindme, and wondering how she found her way into this room. But when I look around, I realize I'm no longer in that beautiful circular space, I'm back in the hall. A few tables away from where the monks, priests, shamans, and rabbis once were.
"And you should never fast-forward into the future. Because every time you do, you rob yourself of the journey, the present moment, which, in the end, is all there really is."
I turn, wondering if she's referring to my crystal tablet debacle or life in general. But she just smiles. "You okay?"
I shrug and look away. I mean, why bother explaining? She probably already knows anyway. "Nope."
She leans against the table and shakes her head. "I don't know a thing. Whatever happens in here is yours and yours to keep. I just heard your cry of distress so I thought I'd check in. That's all. Nothing more, nothing less."
"And where's your evil twin?" I ask, gazing around, wondering if she's hiding somewhere. But Romy just smiles and motions for me to follow.
"She's outside, keeping an eye on your friend."
"Ava's here?" I ask, surprised by how relieved that makes me feel. Especially considering how I'm still annoyed with her for ditching me like that. But Romy just waves again, leading me through the front door and out to the steps where Ava is waiting.
"Where've you been?" I ask, my question sounding more like an accusation.
"I got a little sidetracked." She shrugs. "This place is so amazing, I—" She looks at me, hoping I'll lighten up and cut her a break, and averting her gaze when it's clear that I won't.
"How'd you end up here? Did Romy and Rayne—" But when I turn, I realize they're gone.
Ava squints, her fingers playing with the newly manifested gold hoops at her ear. "I desired to find you, so I ended up here. But I can't seem to get inside." She frowns at the door. "So is this it? Is this the hall you were looking for?"
I nod, taking in her expensive shoes and designer handbag, and growing more annoyed by the second. Here I take her to Summerland so she can help me save someone's life, and all she wants to do is go shopping.
"I know, " she says, responding to the thoughts in my head. "I got carried away, and I'm sorry. But I'm ready to help if you still need it. Or did you get all the answers you sought?"
I press my lips together and gaz
e down at the ground, shaking my head when I say, "I um—I ran into some trouble." A flood of shame washes right over me, especially when I remember how the trouble was pretty much of my making. "And I'm afraid I'm right back where I started," I add, feeling like the world's biggest loser.
"Maybe I can help?" She smiles, squeezing my arm so I'll know she's sincere. But I just shrug, doubting she can do much of anything at this point.
"Don't give up so easily," she says. "After all, this is Summerland, anything is possible here!" I glance at her, knowing it's true but also knowing I've got some serious work to do back home on the earth plane. Work that's going to require all of my attention and focus, no distractions allowed.
So as I lead her down the stairs, I look at her and say, "Well, there's one thing you can do."
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Even though Ava wanted to stay, I pretty much grabbed hold of her hand and forced her to leave, knowing we'd both wasted plenty of time in Summerland already and I had other places to be.
"Damn!" She squints at her fingers just after we land on the floor cushions in her small purple room. "I was hoping they'd keep."
I nod, noticing how the jewel-encrusted gold rings she'd manifested have returned to her usual silver, while the designer shoes and handbag didn't survive the trip either.
"I was wondering about that," I say, rising to my feet. "But you know you can do that here, right? You can manifest anything you want, you just have to be patient." I smile, wishing to leave things on a positive note by repeating the exact same pep talk Damen gave me back when my lessons first began. Lessons I wished I'd paid a lot more attention to now, having assumed that being immortal meant we had nothing but time. Besides, I'm starting to feel guilty for being so hard on her. I mean, who wouldn't get a little carried away on their first visit to that place?
"So what now?" she calls, following me to the front door. "When do we go back? I mean, you won't return without me—will you?"
I turn, my eyes meeting hers, seeing how consumed she is with her visit and wondering if I'd made a mistake by taking her there. Avoiding her eyes as I head for my car, calling over my shoulder to say, "I'll give you a call."