But we've already been through this, more than once. Besides, I've made my decision and there's no going back. I'm saying hello to a normal life, and good-bye to immortality, Damen, Summerland, psychic phenomenon, and everything else that goes with it. Ever since the accident, all I wanted was to be normal again. And now that I am, I plan to embrace it.
I shake my head and stick my key in the ignition, looking up again when she says, "Ever, please think about what I said. You've got it all wrong.
You've said good-bye to the wrong person."
"What're you talking about?" I ask, just wanting to get home, so I can start enjoying my life once again.
But she just smiles. "I think you know what I mean."
No longer grounded and released of all that psychic baggage, I spend the next few days hanging with Miles and Haven, meeting for coffee, going shopping, seeing movies, trolling around downtown, watching his rehearsals, thrilled to have my life back to normal again. And on Christmas morning, when Riley appears, I'm relieved I can still see her.
"Hey, wait up!" she says, blocking the door just as I'm about to head down the stairs.
"No way are you opening your presents without me!" And when she smiles, she's so radiant and clear she appears almost solid, nothing flimsy, filmy, or translucent about her.
"I know what you're getting!" She grins. "Want a hint?"
I shake my head and laugh. "Absolutely not! I love not knowing for a change," I say, smiling as she walks over to the middle of my room and executes a perfect series of cartwheels.
"Speaking of surprises." She giggles. 'Jeff bought Sabine a ring! Can you believe it?
He moved out of his mom's house, got his own place, and is begging her to come back and start over!"
"Serious?" I say, taking in her faded jeans and layered tees, glad to see she's done with the costumes and no longer copyingme.
She nods. "But Sabine will send it right back. I mean, at least from what I can tell it's not like she's actually received the ring yet, so I guess we'll wait and see. Still, people rarely surprise you, you know?"
"Still spying on celebrities?" I ask, wondering if she has any dish.
She makes a face and rolls her eyes. "God no. I was being seriously corrupted.
Besides, it's always the same old thing, shopping binges, food binges, drug binges, followed by rehab. Wash, rinse, and repeat-yawn."
I laugh, wishing I could reach out and hug her instead. I was so afraid I'd lost her.
"What're you looking at?" she asks, peering at me. "You." I smile.
"And, I'm so glad you're here. And that I can still see you. I was afraid I'd lost that ability when Ava showed me how to make that shield."
She smiles. "To be honest, you did. I really had to ramp up my energy so you could see me. In fact, I'm using some of yours. Do you feel tired?"
I shrug. "A little, but then again, I just woke up." She shakes her head.
"Doesn't matter. It's still me."
"Hey Riley." I look at her. "Are you still… visiting Ava?" I ask, holding my breath as I wait for the answer.
She shakes her head. "Nah. I'm over that too. Now come on, I cannot wait to see your face when you unwrap your new iPhone! Oops!" She laughs, placing her hand over her mouth as she backs right through the closed bedroom door.
"You're really staying?" I whisper, making my exit the traditional way. "You don't have to leave, or be somewhere else?"
She climbs on top of the banister and slides her way down, looking back at me and smiling when she says, "Nope, not anymore."
Sabine returned the ring, I had a new iPhone, Riley was back to visiting every day, sometimes even accompanying me to school, Miles started dating one of the Hairspray backup dancers, Haven dyed her hair dark brown, swore off everything goth, began the painful process of lasering off her tattoo, burned all of her Drina-dresses, and replaced them with emo. New Year's came and went, marked by a small gathering at my house that included sparkling cider for me (I was officially off the sauce), contraband champagne for my friends, and a midnight dip in the Jacuzzi, which was pretty tame as far as New Year's parties go, but not at all boring. Stacia and Honor still glared at me, pretty much the same as before, even worse on the days when I wore something cute, Mr.
Robins got a life (one without his daughter or his wife), Ms. Machado still cringed when she looked at my art, and between it all was Damen.
Like caulk around a tile, like binding in a book, he filled all of my blank empty spaces and held everything together, kept it all contained. Through every pop quiz, every shampoo, every meal, every movie, every song, every dip in the Jacuzzi, I held him in my mind, comforted just by knowing he was out theresomewhere-even though I'd decided against him.