Until she saw me.
“I thought it was enough that I found a way to release the souls and reverse the Shadowland, but, as it turns out, there’s stil more you want me to do.” I glare, shake my head, and yank free of her grip. My fingers slipping past the thin gold band she wears on her left hand, feeling remorse for the loss of her loved one, but unsure what I’m supposed to do. “You put me through al that hel , when al along that wasn’t even the journey you had in mind—you had something else planned for me that whole entire time!”
“Each step leads to the next,” she says, her voice far calmer than mine. “Everything you have experienced in this life as wel as those prior has prepared you for this moment. Each decision you made has landed you here. And while you have accomplished so much—
there is much left to do. The journey is long and arduous—but the reward is too great to miss. There are many who await you—await you to release them. You are the only one who can do so. This is why you keep reincarnating, Ever. You have a destiny to fulfil .”
I squint, realizing with a start that’s the first time she’s ever used my real name, or at least my current real name. Usual y she cal s me Adelina, or just points as she sings that demented song of hers. And I can’t help but wonder what more I could possibly be expected to do after al that I’ve already been through. Surviving a past life I never realized I’d lived, nearly drowning in the River of Forgetfulness, nearly getting burned alive in the desert of two blazing suns, freeing the lost souls of the Shadowland and restoring it back to the splendor of Summerland.
After al that, I’m just not sure I’m up for any new chal enges. Not when everything Damen and I have been striving for al this time is final y wel within our reach. Al we have to do is head back to the earth plane, col ect the ingredients, whip up the antidote, give it a shake and a swig, and the happily ever after is ours.
“Only you can bring back the truth. Only you can find it,” Lotus says, the words spoken plainly, simply, bearing no signs of begging or pleading.
“Locate what exactly?” Damen asks, making no attempt to hide his exasperation.
But Lotus is immune to our outbursts. From what I can see, she cycles between two moods—veering from slightly forlorn, to calm and serene.
“The Tree of Life,” she says, her gaze directed at him. “Only Ever can find it. Only Ever can bring back its fruit. The tree is evergiving.
Its fruit provides enlightenment—the knowledge of true immortality—the soul’s immortality—to those who seek it—as wel as reversing the false, physical immortality of those who’ve been fooled.”
“And if she doesn’t go? If she turns her back on you, on al of this, and returns to the earth plane, then what?” Damen’s brow rises in chal enge.
“Then it’s a pity. Then I have misjudged her. Underestimated her. Then she wil not realize her destiny and many wil suffer. Yet it is her choice entirely. I can only ask, she has the free wil to decide on her own.” Lotus faces me when she adds, “Do you stil have that smal pouch that I gave you?”
My eyes narrow, my lips part, I’d forgotten al about the little silk pouch she handed me at the beginning of the journey, and after al that I’ve been through, I doubt it’s stil with me.
I snake my fingers into each of my pockets, eventual y finding it wedged deep into the corner of the righthand back one, the last one I check. It’s crumpled, total y squashed and crinkly, but stil I retrieve it and dangle it before me.
Her face lifting into a smile as she says, “Do you remember my words when I gave it to you?”
I squint, searching through the cluttered contents of my mind. “You said, ‘Everything you think you need is in here. You decide what that means.’ Or something like that.”
She nods. Grins. My attention claimed by the large gaps in her teeth when she says, “And so, with that in mind, what is the one thing you desire most—above everything else? Right now, at this very moment, what is it you want?”
I hesitate. Stare at a smal patch of grass at my feet. Aware of Damen’s gaze weighing heavily upon me, wondering why I won’t say it, why the delay.
The same thing I wonder as wel .
I wonder why the word won’t come—why it feels like such a struggle, when it’s the one thing, the only thing, we’ve sought al this time.
Lifting my gaze to meet Lotus’s, I fight to push the words past my tongue. My voice wooden, perfunctory, devoid of emotion, when I say, “The antidote. I—rather we, have the recipe, but we stil need to col ect the ingredients, attend to al the moon phases, and …
whatnot…” I al ow the words to trail off. My heart hammering, my stomach jumbled in knots, my fingers twitching wildly as Lotus’s eyes travel between Damen and me.
“And so it is.” She nods, as though it is done, and when the gesture is met with two skeptical stares, she adds, “Please. Look inside.
You wil find it contains everything you need to make this antidote of yours. Including a very rare herb that wil be difficult to find back on the earth plane. And yes, al of the moon phases have been accounted for.”
Content to leave it at that, she starts to shuffle away, stopping only when I cal her back to me and say, “You’re joking, right?” I dangle the tiny pouch, knowing there’s no possible way it could ever contain al the items Roman included in that long grocery list of his. It’s too smal . A list like that would require a completely stuffed duffle bag, or two.
Lotus stops, steeples her hands at her chest, and says, “Why don’t you empty the contents and see?”
I frown, kneel onto the grass, pul ing the strings as I tilt the tiny bag on its side. Unable to do anything but gasp when a slew of herbs, crystals, and tiny glass vials of liquids tumble out. Having no idea where they could possibly be coming from—the bag contains far more items than it could ever logical y hold.
“It is al there. Everything you need to proceed. Just fol ow Roman’s instructions and the life that you dream of is yours.” She stops, looking at me when she adds, “Or is it?”
I gulp. Struggle to breathe. Staring at the bounty al spread out before me—a generous heap of hard-to-find, complex ingredients I’ve been searching for al of this time—the answer to al of our problems right here for the taking.