“Well, you won’t regret this.” Lita hardens her jaw, lifts her fingers for a moment, only to lower them back to the wheel with a grip that’s twice as tight. “And, if we do end up regretting it, well at least we’ll have something to talk about, right?”
“Yes. At least we’ll have that. I’m always on the lookout for a good icebreaker.” I hold hard to the edge of my seat as her car shakes and judders over the deeply rutted dirt road, wondering if I should just close my eyes until it’s over.
“We’re not going to die, Xotichl. Or at least not today. Not from Cade.”
“How can you be so sure?” I sneak a lid open to better see her. “After all, he’s the one who killed Paloma.”
“He had a different agenda with Paloma. It was a Coyote versus Seeker thing. It was mostly about hurting Daire. Making her feel powerless and alone in the world. And while there’s no doubt he succeeded, it’s different with me. He won’t try to harm me. And, I’m afraid you’re just going to have to take my word for it.”
“You don’t seriously think he’s still madly in love with you, do you? Because that’s the one thing I was sure he wasn’t bluffing about.”
Lita laughs, lifts a hand to her hair and fluffs up the ends. “Please, I’m not stupid. I don’t think Cade Richter was ever madly in love with me. Or even marginally in love with me, for that matter. I don’t think he even knows what love is. I know I didn’t—not until I met Axel, anyway. What I do know is that Cade’s pride and ego are deeply offended by how quickly I moved on. And, because of it, I’m pretty sure he’d like to keep me around long enough to make me regret my choice to leave him, which of course, I never will. How could I? With Axel, I have everything. I finally know what real love is and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” She glances at me, eyes narrowing when she reads the skeptical look on my face. “Didn’t you catch the way Cade made sure to mention his date? ‘I’m shopping for a dress for my date. This place isn’t classy enough for my date.’” She rolls her eyes. “Whatever Cade’s up to, you can bet it’s well planned. He leaves nothing to chance. Always has an agenda, which we’ll learn soon enough. The real question is, why are you so scared? What’s going on with you? Why don’t you just tune in to the energy of the situation like you usually do? Surely that’ll convince you that this will all turn out right.”
I frown, unsure how to tell her how untethered I feel. That my newly restored vision seems to be the only tangible thing I can count on. So I just end up blurting the truth. “I can’t really read energy in the way that I used to.”
She looks at me. Doing her best to hide her alarm. “You’re probably still getting used to your sight though, right? You know, like you’re learning to see through your eyes instead of your blind sight. I’m sure it’ll come back.”
“But what if it doesn’t?” I clench my hands in my lap. There. I said it. Revealed my very worst fear that all the progress I made with the help of Paloma’s tutelage has taken a permanent sabbatical.
“It will.” She nods as though it’s already been decided, but I’m not so sure.
I used to know when someone was lying purely by the color of their words.
I used to know when dark energies were lurking by the subtle shift in the atmosphere.
But now, it seems I’m as clueless as everyone.
Questioning my instincts.
Second-guessing my gut.
“I don’t know . . . I guess I just—” I start to say I have a bad feeling about all of this, but the truth is, I don’t feel much of anything. There’s a big empty void in the place where my intuition once lived. “The truth is, I really, truly don’t know,” I finally say, not wanting to lie. “But it just feels . . . wrong. Following Cade—going to the masquerade ball—none of it sits well inside.”
I swivel toward Lita, only to find she’s already moved on. Already returned her focus to chasing Cade’s truck.
I fold my hands in my lap and try to keep calm. Try to find the place of quiet stillness like Paloma once taught me.
She always said the silence is where my strength lies. That when I find myself anxious, uncertain, or feeling unsettled, I should allow my breath to slow and my thoughts to quiet, so a space can open up for the answers to be revealed. And though it’s never failed me in the past, there’s no denying it’s failing me now.
The silence bears the opposite effect. Leaving me so jumbled and edgy, I turn to the window and press my fingertips hard to the glass in an attempt to steady myself.
Normally I’d be able to read the energy emitted by every run-down adobe we pass, but not anymore.
Still, I grit my teeth and try again, refusing to give up so easily.
Only to shoot toward the dashboard when Lita slams the brakes hard, and says, “This is the last thing I expected to see.”
SEVENTEEN
DACE
Cade stops his truck in the middle of the street and lowers the driver’s side window to better see me. “When I got your text I was sure it was a joke.” He keeps one hand on the wheel, the engine idling.
“Not a joke, I assure you.” I lean against the door of the primer-grey, classic Mustang I’ve been slowly restoring. Arms loose by my sides, legs casually crossed at the ankles, in an attempt to appear open, easygoing, and harmless. In other words, the opposite of what I’m becoming.
“Well, that’s your fail.” He peers at me through a pair of dark sunglasses. Clueless to the fact that despite the tinted lenses, I can still see his eyes. I can see everything. He’s part of me, just as I’m part of him. “So, get to it already. What do you want? I’m busy.” He lifts his chin, checks his reflection in the rearview mirror. His usual smug, self-satisfied look deepening when he sees Lita parked a few feet away.
He thinks this scene is his to control.