Better than me.
Turns out, we’re fated, she was right all along.
Only instead of being fated to love her—to forge a life together—I’m fated to kill her.
And yet, while a part of me still manages to thrive, I owe it to Daire to pull myself together and handle this better. From the moment I arrived I’ve been shutting her out. Immersed in the inner turmoil of trying to figure out the best way to say goodbye to the one person I can’t imagine ever living without.
Instead of being up front, finding the right words to tell her myself, I let the prophecy do the job for me, state what I couldn’t. A cowardly act I need to redeem.
I take a moment to gather my courage, my thoughts, then I rise to my feet and address my friends first. “Just to be clear, the Shadow the prophecy speaks of is me. I witnessed the same prediction in a bone-reading ritual earlier today. Despite my normal appearance, it won’t be much longer before the beast completely takes over. And from what I’ve seen, there will be no way to stop it, much less control it. So, for your safety and well-being, I’m leaving now and I won’t be returning.”
Lita gasps, clasps a hand to her mouth.
As Xotichl seeks comfort in Auden.
Only Axel nods his consent. Only Axel truly understands.
While Daire looks a lot like she did when she came to me in the dreams—a beautiful girl trusting me to do the right thing.
I try to say more—want to say more—but the words just won’t come. So like the condemned man I am, I lumber for the front door, aware of Daire racing behind.
I reach for the handle, step onto the stoop. Wanting so badly to pull her into my arms, press my lips to hers, though no longer sure if I should. “When you first discovered I’d stolen a piece of Cade’s darkness, you wondered if it wasn’t a mistake—that maybe the darkness within was part of my fate. Looks like you were right.” My gaze roams over her beautiful features now blunted with pain. “I wish things were different. I wish I’d never—” Before I can finish, she presses a finger to my lips, halting the words.
“Don’t waste your wishes on a past we can’t change.” Her green eyes meet mine. “What matters now, is what we do next.”
The hope in her voice is like an arrow to my chest, piercing my heart. There’s no room for hope—not for someone like me. The beast inside negates all the good I once owned, and I need to convince her of that if it’s the last thing I do.
“Daire—you don’t know what I saw. It’s worse than you think. Worse than you could ever imagine.”
“Oh, don’t be so sure. I’ve had the dreams too. I’ve also had my heart slashed nearly in half by your twin. And, what I haven’t experienced firsthand, well, my morbid imagination can fill in the rest.” She cracks a brave smile, and I hold the image in my mind long after it fades. Wanting it to be the picture I’ll carry forever. After all that she’s been through, all that she faces ahead, it’s incredible the way her radiant spirit still manages to shine.
I will do whatever it takes to keep this girl safe.
Even if it means keeping her safe from me.
“Despite all evidence to the contrary—despite what the bones and the Codex claim—they will not succeed. I plan to win, and I plan to win big. I won’t go down easily, and I certainly won’t go down alone. I will drag Cade Richter right along with me if it comes to that.” Her chin is determined, her gaze resolute. But her voice trembles ever so slightly, betraying the deeply rooted uncertainty that lurks behind every word.
Though I know I shouldn’t do it—though I know I should go quickly, quietly—I can’t resist reaching toward her one final time. My fingers thrumming with warmth the moment they meet her sweet flesh and I cup her face in my hands.
It was only this morning when I reveled in the surety of being lucky enough to love her forever. And now, the future I’d dreamed of is gone, just like that.
Once again, fate gets the last laugh.
“I meant what I said earlier.”
She tilts her head, shoots me a curious look. The weight of her gaze meeting mine sparking a small flicker inside the abyss where my soul used to shine.
Won’t be long before the beast eclipses that too.
“You said a lot of things this morning,” she says. “Things it seems you no longer believe.” Her face darkens, as though she can already see the shift occurring within me.
And I can’t leave her like that. Can’t end us this way. So I go on to say, “When I said that someday we’d live together. Build a future together. Live a normal life together—I meant it. I still want that.”
She places her hand over mine, entwining our fingers until they’re laced nice and tight. “I’m not sure I was ever meant for a normal life.” She blinks. Rubs her lips together. The usual signs of my girl refusing to cry. “But that doesn’t stop me from dreaming of one with you. Just the two of us growing old together, enjoying the kind of ordinary moments normal people are lucky enough to take for granted. We can have that, Dace. We will have that. I won’t give up on us. I won’t let you go.”
“Daire—” I’m shocked by her words. I thought I made myself clear. I thought she understood. With me she’s in danger. Without me, she’s . . . well, while not exactly safe, she stands a much better chance of surviving.
“Yes, I read the prophecy.” Her voice is hurried, her face tense. “And yes, I heard everything you relayed about reading the bones. But I also know this—you were right this morning when you said that evil is no match for love. I could literally feel the truth in your words. I admit, at the time, I did what I could to deflect them, but only because I thought I needed to remain in warrior mode in order to win. I was sure that my arsenal of tricks had no room for such soft, fuzzy sentiments. But once I had a chance to really stop and reflect, I realized there’s not a Seeker in the Santos family tree that didn’t act from the heart. And while they may have failed at keeping the Richters permanently contained, that doesn’t mean I can’t succeed where they failed. It doesn’t mean I can’t honor my heart, keep you by my side, and take the Richters down once and for all, because that’s exactly what I plan to do. I have every intention of winning, and I plan to do so with you by my side. There’s no reason that with the two of us working together, we can’t fight this thing. Maybe you can even use the beast to help me defeat them.”