“Yeah.” He had an uneasy feeling where she was going.
“You communicating with her? Telling her how you’re feeling about all this? What’s going through your mind?”
“I’m not laying that shit on her. She’s been through enough.”
“So have you.”
“I’m not the one who was sexually assaulted and driven out of their home. Had to take care of my siblings, living on the bones of my ass. Wasn’t the one targeted by a fucking stalker, who watched me while I undressed. Who sent me sick notes.”
“No, but that doesn’t mean it’s not affecting you. My guess is you feel guilty.”
He just sent her a look.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You feel guilty over what happened ten years ago. You feel like you should never have left her? That you should have dug deeper to find out why she left? Should have gone after her?”
He nodded. He felt all of that.
“Should have known she had a stalker? Have protected her better?”
Yep.
“Should have listened to her when she wanted to explain what happened back? Should have never blamed her?”
He blanched.
“Yeah, mountain of guilt there. But, Jed, you have to figure out a way of letting that guilt go. You don’t, it will eat you up and it will ruin your life. You want to do that to you? To her?”
“Of course I don’t. But what the fuck am I supposed to do?”
“Talk to someone about it all. Let it out.”
He breathed deep. Let it out.
“You might also want to pay attention to Daisy.”
“I pay attention.” He frowned. He hardly had his eyes off her.
“You might watch her but you’re not paying attention. She knows what she wants. It’s you. All of you. She got a taste of all that she’s ever wanted and now you’re holding that back. She’s been trying to get your attention for days. When’s the last time you saw her paddle? How many of your rules has she broken in the last few days?”
He thought that over.
“How many times you let her get away with breaking those rules?”
“She needs care,” he growled.
“She does. What she doesn?
?t need is someone treating her like she’s broken. When was the last time you kissed her? Really kissed her? Showed her you desired her?”
“I don’t want to scare her.” He ran his hand over his face. “She’s never been with anyone else.”
“And that’s a gift you’ll need to be careful with. But I know you’ll handle her gently. Do that, make it good for her, and let her help you get past this.”
Christ. Had he really fucked this up so much?
“And for God’s sake, will you give her the spanking she’s so clearly asking for.”
He gave her an incredulous look. “Really should have looked into your credentials.”