“Okay then.”
“Okay then,” he repeated. Still with amusement in his voice. They sat there for a long moment.
“I’m mad that he’s dead. That he’s beyond my anger. Everything he took from you—”
“He took it from you as well, Jed.”
“Never forgive myself for not trying to find you,” he whispered.
“Honey, you have to. You have to let it go.”
“Don’t fucking know how to do that.”
She turned to him. “Together, we do it together.” She leaned her forehead in and touched it against his.
“Together,” he whispered.
18
The nightmare screamed through her, dragging her from sleep. The way it had every night for the last three nights. Ever since she’d told Jed the truth. Having it all come out was almost as bad as having to live it again.
Almost. Because this time she had Jed. She wasn’t alone.
And yet, she didn’t have Jed. This was a different Jed than the one she’d had before. This Jed was quieter, most people would probably argue he’d never been much of a talker, but he had been with her. This Jed was gentler. He watched her. All the time.
This Jed hadn’t once scolded her. Hadn’t given her so much as a stern look. Admittedly, she’d walked around in a haze of exhausted shock for those first few days. She felt fragile. She didn’t like it. Discovering she had a stalker, knowing he’d been watching her, feeling scared in her own home she figured it was enough to unnerve the strongest person. Without all of the stuff from the past coming up as well.
Yeah, she was a different Daisy, but she felt a bit more like herself each day. Today, her Little had even surfaced for a while when she’d found the coloring-in books he’d bought her the other day. And Daddy had even helped.
A subdued daddy.
He hadn’t been back to work, hadn’t mentioned going back and the truth was, she wasn’t ready to be left here alone.
Don’t be such a wimp, Daisy. He’ll have to return to work at some stage. You can’t rely on him forever.
She knew it. But her sense of safety had been rattled and she wasn’t sure how to get it back.
She also knew that she missed her Jed. Wanted him back.
He slid his arm around her waist. Carefully. As though afraid she would shatter. That was how he touched her now. Like she might break. There had been no spankings. He hadn’t once put his hand in her back pocket of her jeans to guide her around. And there had been no orgasms.
“Bad dream, baby?” he murmured.
“Yes,” she whispered.
The first words of the song hit the room. She started to relax. She’d been shocked after her first nightmares, when the dregs of it were still clinging to her, to hear him singing to her. Always the same song. Always low and soft. Always it washed away the nightmare like nothing else could.
He had a gorgeous voice. Soft yet husky, he hit every note of Amazing Grace perfectly. There was nothing more beautiful than her fierce dragon, singing her back to sleep in the most tender voice imaginable.
Tears dripped down her face, but she tried not to let him sense them. She didn’t want to explain the reason for them. Wasn’t sure she could. Wasn’t sure he wanted to know it was because she’d never had something as beautiful in her life as him singing to her.
Gradually, the tears dried. Her body relaxed and sleep overtook her.
Jed slid away from her, lying on his back. He placed his arm over his eyes as he reminded himself that she was fragile. That she needed care. She’d just woken from a fucking nightmare, for God’s sake. The last thing she needed was to know that he was lying there with a freaking hard-on.
Only an asshole would think of his own needs now. But he couldn’t stop himself from imagining how good it would be to roll her under him and drive himself deep. On the tail of that thought came another. Of Bobby trying to rape
her. His grandfather threatening her.