She pulled her legs up and secured her arms around them, making herself into a tight ball.
Fuck. Fuck.
“Jed? Why are you here? I thought you had gone.” Her voice sounded lifeless. Dull. Now that he could push past his anger and actually see what was right in front of him, he could tell she was in trouble. Her hair was dull and lank. Her skin a sickly-gray color. Deep chestnut-colored marks lay beneath her eyes. She had on a baggy t-shirt and pants, but he was betting she’d lost weight.
What the hell was going on?
“I did. And that was a big mistake. Realized it almost as soon as I left. Turned around and came back.” He crouched down, not reaching for her. Not yet.
“You broke the window.”
“You weren’t answering the door. I was worried about you.”
“Why?” she asked. “I’m just some slut who’s cheating on you. A white-trash whore who’d end up embarrassing you.”
Where the hell had she gotten that from? He stared at her in shock. Then he was done with this distance between them. Reaching out, he grabbed her, sat back on his ass and pulled her onto his lap. It worried him that she didn’t even fight him. As though she didn’t have the energy. Or simply didn’t care.
“What’s going on, Daisy?”
“Now you want to know?”
He hated the bitter tone to her voice. This part was entirely his fault. He grasped hold of her chin and tipped her face up. “I know you’re upset with me, baby. And I totally get why. I messed up. I made a mistake. And as tough as it is sometimes to own your mistakes, I’m trying to do that now. I jumped to conclusions and I’m so sorry, baby girl. I will do whatever it is I have to in order to make up for my behavior just before.”
There was silence. Shit. He wasn’t getting through to her.
Then she shifted on his lap and her eyes met his. He hated the pain he saw in there.
“Anything?”
“Anything,” he swore.
“You’ll stop spanking me?”
“Yes,” he said without hesitation.
She blinked. It was clear she hadn’t expected that answer. “Didn’t think you’d agree to that.”
The hard knot of worry eased inside him. She still had a guarded look on her face, but at least she wasn’t completely closed off from him, or trying to hit him with a baseball bat.
“If it’s what you need from me and it’s in my power to give it to you then I’m going to do whatever I have to in order to give you that.” Not that he truly thought she needed him to stop spanking her. It was a test. One he prayed he was passing. But he had something else to impart as well. Something he hoped would tip the scales in his favor.
“I love you, Daisy-girl.”
She sniffled. “No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do.”
“You think I could cheat on you!” she wailed.
Pain blossomed in his chest.
“Obviously, I still have some issues. I jumped to conclusions I shouldn’t have. I had to take a moment to think and I quickly realized that I was completely out of line. In my defense, I haven’t slept more than a handful of hours since I left you. Wanting to get back to you quickly, I didn’t stop to sleep or eat. When I got here, I found cheap lingerie and some sort of love note to my woman on her porch and it flipped something inside of me. But I hurt you and those excuses don’t mean shit in the face of that. I’m here to protect you, not be the cause of your pain.”
“It’s only been two weeks; you can’t love me.”
“It’s been ten years.”
She sniffled. “You’ve loved me for ten years?”