“It’s working out pretty poorly for me,” he told her honestly, and she turned to him, looking surprised. “I’ve buried my shit deep because I think then it won’t affect me.”
“But that doesn’t work?”
For him, it was the only way he could move forward, keep going. But it wasn’t what he wanted for her. Because those problems festered and ate away at you until you became a messed-up fool like he was.
“Nope.” He waved his hand around his place. “Not unless you want to end up like this. Alone, living in a crappy apartment, bitter and twisted.”
“You’re not bitter and twisted.”
“Maybe I’m just not that way with you. Maybe everyone else thinks I’d give Ebenezer Scrooge a run for his money.”
She smiled and shook her head. “If you’re so awful then how come everyone at Black-Gray likes you?”
“Maybe I’m just a good actor.” He winked, as though joking around. But the truth of it was, he was bitter, twisted, and dark.
“So, you going to tell me more about this session with Lacey? Must have been bad if you didn’t hear me calling out to you. You looked so pale I was worried you’d pass out.”
The door buzzed before she could say anything, and he rose, grabbing his wallet. “That’s the pizza.”
When he returned, she was where he’d left her. Looking entirely too small in his large recliner. He sat the pizza box on the floor.
“Sorry, I don’t have a coffee table.”
“How long have you lived here?” she asked.
“Um, about three years.”
“Oh.”
He had to hide a grin. “You thought I’d just moved in, didn’t you?”
She nodded then smiled. “You like minimalism, huh?”
“Something like that. Hawaiian or meat lovers?”
“I’m not hungry.”
He just patiently waited, not saying anything. She sighed. “You’re the most stubborn person I know,” she grumbled, but she reached for a piece of pizza and took a bite. And he felt a ridiculous surge of satisfaction, knowing she was eating. That he’d seen to her care.
Get a grip, Curt.
He grabbed a piece of pizza to hide his surge of emotion.
They ate in silence for a moment while he thought of the best way to approach the topic of her session with Lacey. He didn’t know why he felt the need to push her, to know what was going on. He could put it down to caring about a friend all he liked, but it wouldn’t be the truth. At least not the full truth. He didn’t care about his other friends like this.
When she’d eaten a slice then settled back into the recliner with a yawn, he placed down his piece and turned to her. He’d eaten three and hadn’t tasted any of it.
“What happened in therapy today, Jenna?”
She shook her head and gave him a small smile. “You just never give up, do you?”
“Nope. So you might as well tell me.”
“I finally remembered it all.” She frowned slightly. “Well, maybe not all of it. I think there are bits still missing. Lacey said they might still come back to me.” She rubbed her hand over her face and leaned forward resting her elbows against her knees. “I can’t believe I forgot all of it. How could I forget about all those people being murdered?”
There was horror in her voice. Fear. He hated that she’d gone through all of that. That so much evil had touched her. Part of him had hoped she’d never remember any of it.
She looked over at him. “You know that saying, be careful what you wish for? I was so sure I wanted to remember. I was so frustrated that my stupid brain was blocking the memories